1. Parallelism (G#14), Proofreading Comparison-Contrast, Appropriate and Exact Language (G#13), and Review for Final Exam
You need TWO printouts of your SECOND DRAFT for class today! If you don’t have them, run to YBOR 303b and print!

2. Connecting Ideas Smoothly (LBCH pp. 148-151)
Parallelism (G#14), Proofreading Comparison-Contrast, Appropriate and Exact Language (G#13), and Review for Final Exam
Parallelism
Connecting Ideas Smoothly (LBCH pp )

3. What is Parallelism?
Parallelism means that all of the ideas in your sentences line up logically because they use the same parts of speech or tenses for similar things.
When sentences are parallel, they flow smoothly and have symmetry.

4. 1. Parallelism in a series
A series is a list.
1. Parallelism in a series
Whenever you present a series, each item should line up logically with the beginning of the sentence.
For example: I have to get the children dressed, fed, and packed for school by 7:30 a.m.

5. 1. Parallelism in a series
A series is a list.
1. Parallelism in a series
Note how each of the items in the series of actions lines up with the beginning of the sentence:
I have to get the children dressed … by 7:30 a.m.
I have to get the children … fed … by 7:30 a.m.
I have to get the children … packed for school by 7:30 a.m.

6. 1. Parallelism in a series
Parallel: I have to get the children dressed, fed, and packed for school by 7:30 a.m.
Not Parallel: I have to get the children dressed, fed, and be packed for school by 7:30 a.m.
Not Parallel: I have to get the children dressed, feed them, and packed for school by 7:30 a.m.

7. 1. Parallelism in a series
Not Parallel: By brainstorming, applying prewriting strategies, all research completed, writing several drafts, and proofreading for errors, I have improved my writing greatly.
Parallel: By brainstorming, applying prewriting strategies, completing all research, writing several drafts, and proofreading for errors, I have improved my writing greatly.

8. 1. Parallelism in a series
Not Parallel: The Tutoring Center has helped me with my comma splices, organization, writing better sentences, and thesis statements.
Parallel: The Tutoring Center has helped me with my comma splices, organization, sentence-writing skills, and thesis statements.

9. Can you fix the following?
At most high schools, acts of vandalism can result in suspension, detention, or even being expelled from school.

10. Possible answer:
Not parallel: At most area high schools, acts of vandalism can result in suspension, detention, or even being expelled from school.
Parallel: At most area high schools, acts of vandalism can result in suspension, detention, or even expulsion.

11. 2. Parallelism with Comparisons
Use parallel structure in comparisons with than or as.
Not parallel: Designing an interesting garden is easier than to take care of it.
Parallel: Designing an interesting garden is easier than taking care of it.

12. 3. Parallelism with Paired Words
Correlative conjunctions join things that must be parallel. Check what follows paired words like these:
both… and
either... or
neither… nor
not only… but also
rather... than

13. 3. Parallelism with Paired Words
Sometimes these can be fixed simply by moving one of the paired words:
Not Parallel: Erica wants both to be rich and famous.
Parallel: Erica wants to be both rich and famous.

14. 3. Parallelism with Paired Words
Sometimes a sentence sounds OK but would sound better if the parts of speech were the same. For example:
Not Parallel: Joe is not only intelligent but also a good athlete.
Parallel: Joe is not only intelligent but also athletic.
Note how intelligent and athletic are both adjectives describing Joe.

15. 3. Parallelism with Paired Words
Not Parallel: Overscheduling leads not only to frustration but also to becoming exhausted.
Parallel: Overscheduling leads not only to frustration but also to exhaustion.
(Frustration and exhaustion are both NOUNS.)

16. Can you fix the following?
My current job neither encourages creativity nor flexibility.

17. Possible answers:
Not parallel: My current job neither encourages creativity nor flexibility.
Parallel: My current job encourages neither creativity nor flexibility.
Parallel: My current job neither encourages creativity nor allows flexibility.

18. Can you fix the following?
Confidence means to know yourself, being comfortable with who you are, and not letting anybody tell you otherwise.

19. Possible answer:
Not parallel: Confidence means to know yourself, being comfortable with who you are, and not letting anybody tell you otherwise.
Parallel: Confidence means knowing yourself, being comfortable with who you are, and not letting anybody tell you otherwise.

20. Can you fix the following?
The waste dump is ugly, an environmental danger, unsafe, hazardous to children, and foul-smelling.

21. Possible answer:
Not parallel: The waste dump is ugly, an environmental danger, unsafe, hazardous to children, and foul- smelling. (danger = noun)
Parallel: The waste dump is ugly, environmentally dangerous, unsafe, hazardous to children, and foul-smelling.

22. Can you fix the following?
Parallelism (G#14), Proofreading Comparison-Contrast, Appropriate and Exact Language (G#13), and Review for Final Exam
Can you fix the following?
My strong points are knowing how to formulate a thesis statement that makes an arguable claim, having topic sentences for each of my paragraphs, having supportive sentences, and paraphrase accurately and concisely as needed.

23. Possible answer:
Not parallel: My strong points are knowing how to formulate a thesis statement that makes an arguable claim, having topic sentences for each of my paragraphs, having supportive sentences, and paraphrase accurately and concisely as needed.
Parallel: My strong points are knowing how to formulate a thesis statement that makes an arguable claim, having topic sentences for each of my paragraphs, having supportive sentences, and paraphrasing accurately and concisely as needed.

24. Grammar #14 Preview: Complete the full exercise on Canvas before our next class. (50 points)
Jessica made an “A” on her science project, a “B” on her math quiz, and her English quiz was 100 percent. A. Right (Parallel) B. Wrong (Not Parallel)
Each day of the ancient Olympic games consisted of either athletic events or holding ceremonies and sacrifices to the gods. A. Right (Parallel) B. Wrong (Not Parallel)
The athletes competed less to achieve great wealth than for gaining honor both for themselves and their cities. A. Right (Parallel) B. Wrong (Not Parallel)
Even if a person studies hard and goes to class, he or she is not guaranteed an A. A. Right (Parallel) B. Wrong (Not Parallel)

25. Parallelism (G#14), Proofreading Comparison-Contrast, Appropriate and Exact Language (G#13), and Review for Final Exam
Now, trade your two printouts with at least TWO classmates for silent proofreading using the two copies of the form. Be sure to get your proofreaders’ names! As you do that, I will check that you have completed your final-exam review.

26. Appropriate and Exact Language:
(LBCH pp and )

27. Word Choice Makes a Difference
 Denotation is a word’s literal meaning, which tends to be neutral and objective.
 Connotation is a word’s associations along with its literal meaning. Connotations are subjective and personal, frequently involving feelings and putting a certain spin on things.

28. Denotation and Connotation
Sample Word
Denotation
Connotation
1) additive
an added substance
something unnatural, especially in food; perhaps harmful to health
2) cheap
inexpensive
of products, low quality; of people, stingy

29. A word’s connotation can be positive or negative:
A mature woman lives next door to me.
An elderly woman lives next door to me.
An old woman lives next door to me.
My sister is not an intellectual.
My sister lacks book smarts.
My sister is ditzy.
My sister is dumb.
My sister is stupid.

30. Word Choice Problems Slang and Dialect (Colloquial Language)
Pretentious Language (Jargon or Unnecessarily Big Words)
Sensitive Language (Sexist, Racist, etc.)
Inexact (Vague) Language
Wordy and Redundant Language
Trite Expressions (Clichés)

31. 1. Slang and Dialect Slang is informal and casual language.
Ernest Hemingway takes a shot at explaining this theme in his short novel The Old Man and the Sea.
I used to not get along with my mom, but we’re cool now.
I was bummed about my midterm grade.
The use of slang is inappropriate in formal situations.

32. 1. Slang and Dialect
Dialect is language shared by a group of people in a particular region or community. It is not appropriate in formal writing, as in business, government, or college.
Sue is fixing to go to the store.
I reckon microbiology is a difficult subject.
The lift does not go to the fourth floor without a key.

33. The U.S. Constitution says that the federal government of the United States of America must take a national census and requires that the census be taken every ten years.
The U.S. Constitution says that the federal government of the United States of America must take a national census and requires that the census be taken every ten years.
The U.S. Constitution says that the federal government of the United States of America must take a national census and requires that the census be taken every ten years.
2. Pretentious Language
Pretentious language is jargon that tries to sound smart or snobby. It often makes general readers struggle to understand and may make them feel insulted.
Legalese: ”pursuant to”
Corporate speak: “synergy,” “action item”
Unnecessarily big words: “The biota exhibited a percent mortality response.” (All the fish died.)

34. 3. Sensitive Language
Sensitive language discriminates against people based on something other than their individual merits.
When you ASSUME something about someone or some group, you make an ASS out of U (you) and ME.

35. Sensitive Language Sensitive Language
can be sexist
can be racist
can be ageist
Sensitive Language
can be based on anything that makes a person part of a different group than you

36. Sensitive Language: Sexism
Sexism is discrimination against people based on their gender rather than their individual merits.
Nonsexist language avoids gender-specific job titles, non-parallel usage, and gender-based pronouns when the gender of the individual is unknown.

37. Sensitive Language: Sexism
English has no gender- neutral pronoun in the singular. (It can only be used of objects, not of people.)
Writers are faced with a problem when they want to speak of one person but don’t want to identify that person by sex or don’t know what it is.

38. Avoiding Sexist Usage
Use both pronouns together (“he or she”). Though this avoids sexism, it can be wordy: Before a student submits an essay, he or she should use spell-check.
Make the antecedent plural so that you can use “they.” Before students submit essays, they should use spell-check.
Avoid the pronoun altogether. Spell-check should be used before submitting an essay.

39. Avoiding Sexist Usage: Identify if each sentence is acceptable
Avoiding Sexist Usage: Identify if each sentence is acceptable. If it isn’t, fix it.
If you want to know where the store is located, ask a mailman.
Ask a cashier whether he or she can tell you the price.
A child should always be comforted when he cries.
If that graffiti artist keeps spray-painting buildings, the police will arrest them.
If you want to know where the store is located, ask a mail carrier.
CORRECT!
Children should always be comforted when they cry.
If that graffiti artist keeps spray-painting buildings, the police will arrest him or her.

40. 4. Inexact (Vague) Language
Vague words are too general and don’t provide a clear picture.
Try to replace vague words with specific ones that name a particular individual or quality.
Vague: That was a good movie.
Better: That was an action-packed movie.

41. Inexact (Vague) Language Make each sentence less vague and more specific.
I felt bad when I woke up.
The dog is small.
Sally won a lot of money at the casino.
Growing up plays a huge part in the story.
I was running a fever when I woke up.
The dog weighs only eight pounds.
Sally won $5000 at the casino.
Growing up is a continuing theme throughout the story.

42. 5. Wordy and Redundant Language
Wordy language results from using too many words when fewer will do.
Wordy: I haven’t picked a major at this point in time.
Better: I haven’t picked a major yet.
Wordy: Due to the fact that I don’t feel well, I stayed home today.
Better: Because I don’t feel well, I stayed home today.

43. Wordy and Redundant Language
Redundant language occurs when a writer uses words that say the same thing.
Redundant: He has reverted back to smoking.
Better: He has reverted to smoking.
Redundant: Sue’s two twins are celebrating their birthday.
Better: Sue’s twins are celebrating their birthday.

44. 6. Clichés
Clichés are phrases used so often that people no longer pay attention to them.
Writing an “A” paper is easier said than done.
I’ll turn it in late, but it’s better late than never.
Avoid using clichés in academic writing.

45. GRAMMAR #13: Exact Language (50 points) Complete the full exercise online before our next class.
Choose the sentence that is acceptable formal writing, not vague, informal (slang), insensitive, pretentious, wordy, redundant, or clichéd.
A. Because I often make spelling mistakes, I always run spell-check on my writing assignments. B. Due to the fact that I often make mistakes all the time, I always run spell- check without fail. C. Because I often and frequently make errors or mistakes in spelling, I always take the few extra minutes to click the button and run spell-check on my paragraphs, essays, papers, and other writing assignments.
A. My BFF has crap all over every inch of her room. B. The walls of my friend’s bedroom are covered with posters of celebrities and photos of friends, and fifteen stuffed animals sit on the comforter. C. My best friend, who is closer to me than anyone else, has too much stuff here, there, and everywhere in her room as far as the eye can see.
A. All students have to redo their tests by taking their retakes by no later than December 3. B. Each student must complete his or her test retakes by December 3. C. Every student’s gotta complete his test retakes by December 3.

46. Parallelism (G#14), Proofreading Comparison-Contrast, Appropriate and Exact Language (G#13), and Review for Final Exam
For the rest of the class period, we will go over the final-exam review. The answer key should appear on today’s Canvas page.

47. TONIGHT’S HOMEWORK
Submit final comparison-contrast essay on Canvas and bring any hard-copy stuff to class;
complete grammar exercises #13 (appropriate/exact language) AND #14 (parallelism) on Canvas; AND
study for final exam