1. Boundaries and Battlefields
Keith Dunnett

2. Common Battlefields Not working hard enough/ too hard Exams & grades
Appearance
Screen time/ content
Tidying bedrooms
Staying up/ out late
Mornings/ getting to school on time
Helping with chores
Manners
Alcohol & drugs
Boyfriends and sex
Expensive things

3. Boundaries Are Important

4. Boundaries are Important but love is more important

5. Those who love their children are careful to discipline them
Proverbs 3:24

6. Parenting Styles Indulgent Authoritative Neglectful Authoritarian Warm
Not Firm
Firm
Neglectful
Authoritarian
Not Warm

7. Changing Boundaries Control Age Parental Trust Low X Parental Internal
External
Boundaries
High X
Age 1 18

8. Is This Battle Worth Fighting?
Non-negotiable?

9. “What causes adolescents to rebel is not the assertion of authority, but the arbitrary use of power, with little explanation of the rules, and no involvement in decision making.”
Lawrence Steinberg

10. Is This Battle Worth Fighting?
Non-negotiable?
Trivial?
One to Negotiate?

11. “As hard as it is, our role must move from controller to consultant”
Daniel Hahn

12. Encourage Responsibility
Help them to ‘own’ their choices.

13. Work Out Consequences

14. Check Yourself First
First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye
Jesus Christ

15. Why did they cross the boundary?
by an error?
through inexperience?
to challenge us?

16. Boundaries and Battlefields
Boundaries are important
Boundaries change over time
Types of boundary
Encourage responsibility
Work out consequences

17. Say Sorry… And Forgive