1. Leading Projects: The Human Side of Project Management
Communication
and Coaching

2. Communication and Coaching: A Foundation for Influencing
“Most people readily admit that their organization is fraught with faulty communication, but it is almost always “those other people who are responsible” (Whetten and Cameron, 2007)
“The responsibility for communicating well with other people of differing functions, personalities and influence demands that scientific and technical professionals continually improve their communication skills” (Chambers)
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

3. The Communication Process
Encoding
Channel
Decoding
Message
Message
Sender
Receiver
Noise
Everything that a manager does involves communication. Once a decision is made, for example, it must be communicated. The best idea, suggestion, or plan cannot take form without communication. For meaning to be transferred and understood, a sender must transmit a message and a receiver must understand the message.
Before communication can occur, a sender must have a purpose (message). This message is converted to symbolic form (encoding) and is passed from the sender to a receiver via some medium (channel). The receiver translates the message (decoding) and the result is the transfer of meaning from one person to another. The feedback loop completes this process.
The communication process is a seven-part model: (1) the communication source, (2) the message, (3) encoding, (4) the channel, (5) decoding, (6) the receiver, and (7) feedback. The source is the sender who converts (encodes) a thought or message into symbolic form. The message is the physical product from the source coding. The channel is the medium through which the message travels. The message is directed to a receiver. But, the message must be translated (decoded) into a form that the receiver can understand. Then, the receiver provides feedback to the sender that indicates whether the intended message was received. This entire process is susceptible to noise, that is, disturbances that interfere with the transmission of the message.
Feedback
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

4. Communication Barriers - Dysfunctions
Filtering
Apprehension
Selective
Perception
Language / and
Semantics
Information
Overload
In addition to the noise that can derail the communication process, there are other communication barriers. Filtering is the deliberate manipulation of information to make it appear more favorable to the receiver. Selective perception, another barrier, occurs when a person selectively sees or hears communications according to his or her needs, motivations, experiences, background, and personal characteristics. Information overload occurs when a person is exposed to more information than he or she can process. A person’s emotional state when either sending or receiving a message can also cause a barrier to communication. Since the meaning that words carry is dependent on a person’s age, education, and culture, even the words of the message can be a barrier to communication. Finally, communication apprehension can occur when one is required to interact face-to-face.
Emotions
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

5. Unskillful Communication and Interpersonal Relationships
Restricted, inaccurate information and defective communication flow
Abrasive, insensitive, unskillful message delivery
Distant, distrustful, uncaring interpersonal relationships
Supportive communication seeks to preserve the relationship between communicators while still addressing the problem at hand.
Most communication skills discussion focus on accuracy.
Focus from this perspective is on improving the mechanics of communication transmitters, receivers, encoding and decoding
This is important, and the accuracy of communication is critical. but another aspect of communication is recognizing that it is the basis for establishing and developing interpersonal relationships.
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

6. Two Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal Communication
DEFENSIVENESS
One individual feels threatened or attacked as a result of the communication
Self-protection becomes paramount
Energy is spent on constructing a defense rather than on listening
Aggression, anger, competitiveness, and/or avoidance as a result of the communication
DISCONFIRMATION
One individual feels incompetent, unworthy, or insignificant as a result of the communication
Attempts to reestablish self-worth take precedence
Energy is spent trying to portray self-importance rather than on listening
Showing off, self-centered behavior, withdrawal, and/or loss of motivation are common reactions.
One of the main goals of supportive communication is to overcome these barriers
Supportive communication seeks to preserve the relationship between communicators while still addressing the problem at hand.
Most communication skills discussion focus on accuracy.
Focus from this perspective is on improving the mechanics of communication transmitters, receivers, encoding and decoding
This is important, and the accuracy of communication is critical. but another aspect of communication is recognizing that it is the basis for establishing and developing interpersonal relationships.

7. 8 Attributes of Supportive Communication
Problem-oriented, not person oriented: “How can we solve this problem NOT “Because of you a problem exists”
Congruent, not incongruent: “Your behavior upset me” NOT Do I seem upset? No I’m not upset.”
Descriptive, not evaluative: “Here is what happened, here is my reaction, here is a suggestion” NOT “You are wrong for doing what you did”
A focus on problems and issues that can be changed rather than people and their characteristics
Verbal statements match thoughts and feelings
A focus on honest messages that match thoughts and feelings
Describing objective occurrences, your own reactions and suggestions
Statements that communicate respect, flexibility or collaboration, and areas of agreement
A focus on specific events or behaviors, avoiding general, extreme, either-or statements
Statements that flow from what has been said previously and facilitating interaction
Taking responsibility for my own statements by using personal “I” words
A focus on responding in ways that demonstrate understanding and help others to feel as though they have been understood
These principles they are all also quite interrelated. For instance it is hard to be problem-oriented in communication without also being descriptive and specific.
You should also appreciate the fact that you will not necessarily use all of these principles in every conversation you have. The key is to be familiar with these principles and techniques so that you can use them where and when it is appropriate.
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

8. 8 Attributes of Supportive Communication
Validating, not invalidating: “I have some ideas but do you have any suggestions” NOT “You wouldn’t understand so lets do it my way”
Specific, not global: “You interrupted me 3 times during the meeting NOT “You’re always trying to get attention.”
Conjunctive, not disjunctive: “Relating to what you just said, I’d like to ad another point.” NOT I want to say something regardless of what you said.”
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

9. 8 Attributes of Supportive Communication
Owned, not disowned: “ I have decided to turn down your request because…” NOT “ You have pretty good idea, but it would not work here.”
“Supportive listening, not one-way listening “What do you think are obstacles standing in the way.” NOT As I said before, you make too many mistakes, You’re just not performing”
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

10. Descriptive Communication
STEP 1:
Describe as objectively as possible the event, behavior, or circumstance.
Avoid accusations.
Present data or evidence, if needed.
STEP 2
Describe your own reactions to or feelings about the event, behavior or circumstance.
Describe the objective consequences that have or will likely result.
Focus on the behavior and on your own reaction, not on the other individual or their personal attributes.
STEP 3
Suggest a more acceptable alternative.
Be prepared to discuss additional alternatives.
Focus on the alternative solutions, not on who is right or wrong.

11. General Coaching Guidelines
State purpose & importance of what you are trying to teach
Explain process to be used, be specific
Provide a demonstration
Ask questions to ensure understanding
Observe
Provide immediate & specific feedback
Reinforce success
Express confidence in person’s
Agree on follow-up
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

12. General Counseling Guidelines
Build rapport
Probe to focus on specific problems
Seek root of problem from other person
Listen and respond with empathy
Explain the potential effect of the problem on others
Seek solutions from the other person
Gain agreement for behavior change or improvement
Agree on follow-up actions
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

13. Response Types in Supportive Listening
Advising
Deflecting
Probing
Reflecting
NONDIRECTIVE
RESPONSE
(Generally useful
when counseling)
DIRECTIVE RESPONSE
(Generally useful when coaching)
Advising
Deflecting
Probing
Reflecting
CLOSED
RESPONSE
(Generally useful
during late
stages of
discussion)
OPEN RESPONSE
(Generally useful during early stages of discussion)
These terms collectively comprise the concept of what has been called active listening
Carl Rogers developed the technique as part of counseling
different responses required in coaching versus counseling contexts
Advising -provides direction, can produce dependence. Often even when people ask for advice what they are looking for is understanding
deflecting - changing the focus though not necessarily the subject. “let me tell what happened to me in a similar situation. Such responses can help provide reassurance and sometimes help a person see something in a different light. Can imply listener's message is not important
probing the intent is to acquire more information. Questions are also more neutral in tone than statements. Can sometimes direct communicator towards something they are not wanting to talk about. (e.g. the reasons behind , such as justifying a feeling?
“What” questions are generally better than “why” questions? less judgmental
elaboration - can you tell me more? What happened next
clarification - what do you mean by that?
Repetition - Once again what do you think about that?
Reflective - You say you are discouraged? Encourages elaboration especially about feelings
Reflecting -mirror back to speaker what was heard (using different words)usually feelings. Restatement is when we are reiterating facts. Make sure they do not think you are not listening (“why do you keep repeating what I am saying?).
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

14. Ineffective Listening (How to Kill a Conversation)
Thoughts/Attitudes
Not paying attention
Pseudo-listening
Listening but not hearing
Hearing what we want to hear
Feeling defensive
Rehearsing
Listening for a point of disagreement
Phrases
We tried that once
That’s not how we do things here
I have a better idea
That’s not your job
We’ll never find
Yes, but...
The timing is bad
Are you really proposing that ?
Gestures/Actions
Deathly silence
Raised eyebrow
Furrow-brow
Quickly change subject
Quickly offer another suggestion
Interrupting
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

15. Supportive Communication Practice Exercise (1)
You are the project manager for a new product development team and have convened a meeting of team members. After growing increasingly impatient, the team’s Manufacturing Rep. states, "It is way too early for my involvement! I can’t evaluate this design without a prototype! You engineers don’t appreciate how difficult it is to translate a design into a manufacturable product. ”
How will you respond? Give examples.
Problem-oriented - I do think it would be good to involve you now and it sounds as if you see it otherwise. Let’s try to resolve this.
Descriptive - Here is why I thought it was worth while for you to be here
Conjunctive - This is probably a good time to clarify when and how your early participation might help
Owned - It was my idea to have you here or I do think it is a good idea for you to be here, can I tell you why?
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

16. Supportive Communication Practice Exercise (1)
How will you respond? Give examples.
Problem-oriented, not person oriented
Descriptive, not evaluative
Conjunctive, not disjunctive
Owned, not disowned
Problem-oriented - I do think it would be good to involve you now and it sounds as if you see it otherwise. Let’s try to resolve this.
Person-oriented - You guys in manufacturing need to be more patient
Descriptive - Here is why I thought it was worth while for you to be here
Evaluative - You are wrong, you do need to be here.
Conjunctive - This is probably a good time to clarify when and how your early participation might help
Disjunctive - Well you’re here now so lets get on with it or “Let’s move-on to the next topic.”
Owned - It was my idea to have you here or I do think it is a good idea for you to be here, can I tell you why?
Disowned - Standard procedures dictate that you should be here or My boss approved this meeting and the team’s composition
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

17. Supportive Communication Practice Exercise (2)
A Functional Manager sitting in a design review meeting states, ”Your review is totally out of control. Where are you really at with this design concept? You haven’t even bothered to confirm the design in relation to customer requirements. I see a lack of teamwork and a general lack of commitment to achieving the targeted goals. ”
In terms of supportive communication, how would you characterize this statement?
How would you respond, using supportive communication?
Characterizing this statement
Somewhat general - what does she mean by lack of teamwork and commitment? What are the reason for saying it?
Tone is somewhat invalidating? Instead… I think it would help if we slowed down to get a better understanding of customer needs
Could be more owning “I am concerned because it does not seem to me that…”
How might you respond
Owned and conjunctive I am concerned about some of these issues, too. This seems like a good time to discuss them.
I appreciate why you would be concerned about the lack of knowledge with regard to customer requirements. Let me tell you why we have proceeded without more information.
Probing - What specifically concerns you about our teamwork and coordination?
Problem-oriented. Let’s discuss some options for moving on from here. What do you suggest?

18. Personal Management Interview Program
The interview is regular &private
Intent is continuous improvement in personal, interpersonal, & organizational realms - action-oriented.
Manager & subordinate plan agenda. This is for both, not just the manager.
Allow time for interaction (1hr)
Use supportive communication for joint problem-solving & continuous improvement in tasks & interpersonal relationships.
NONDIRECTIVE RESPONSE
(Generally useful when counseling)
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

19. Personal Management Interview Program
First – address previous action items
Major agenda items might include:
Managerial & organizational problems
Organizational values & vision
Information sharing
Interpersonal issues
Obstacles to improvement
Training in management skills
Individual needs
Feedback on job performance
Personal concerns and problems
Praise/encouragement mixed with problem solving.
Conclude with review of new action items.

20. Communicating Supportively: Behavioral Guidelines
Differentiate: coaching vs. counseling.
Use problem-oriented statements.
Be congruent.
Descriptive, not evaluative, statements.
Use validating statements.
Use specific, conjunctive statements.
Own your statements.
Demonstrate supportive listening.
Implement personal management interview program.
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

21. “Rejected Plans”
Review the case “Rejected Plans” on page 267 of Whetten and Cameron
Do not go to the next slide until after you have reviewed the case.
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

22. “Rejected Plans” STATEMENT 1. Susette - probing 11. Susette - probing
2. Leonardo - incongruence, avoidance
12. Leonardo- descriptive
13. Susette - validating, reflective
3. Susette - reflective
14. Leonardo -congruence, owning
4. Leonardo - global, more congruent
15. Susette - agreement diverting, focus on feelings
5. Susette - understanding, reflective
16. Leonardo - evaluative, disowning
6. Leonardo - some evaluation, descriptive
17. Susette – re-interpretive
7. Susette - probing, conjunctive
18. Leonardo - validating, probing
8. Leonardo - probing
9. Susette - validating, probing
19. Susette - understanding
10. Leonardo – descriptive
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson

23. “Rejected Plans” STATEMENT 20. Leonardo - congruence, owning
27. Susette - probing, evaluative/advice, confronting
21. Susette - validating, confrontative
28. Leonardo - validating, owning, descriptive
22. Leonardo - congruence, owning, descriptive
29. Susette - understanding, reflecting
23. Susette – re-interpretive, conjunctive
30. Leonardo - specific, owning
24. Leonardo - conjunctive, validating, owning
25. Susette - validating, re-interpretive.
26. Leonardo - congruence, probing
One lesson to be learned from this causes that outright advice frequently not helpful, because it may produce defensiveness through invalidation or superiority/inferiority feelings. In this case Leonardo was allowed to clarify his feelings and formulate a plan of action.
© Peter Dominick, Zvi Aronson