1. Individual & Family Dynamics
Interpersonal Relationships - Singlehood

3. Types of Never-Married Singles
Much depends on whether a person is single by choice and whether he or she considers being single temporary or permanent. If one is voluntarily single, his or her sense of well-being is likely to be better than that of a person who is involuntarily single. Arthur Shostak has divided singles into four types. Singles may shift from one type to another at different times.

4. Ambivalents
Ambivalents are voluntarily single and consider their singleness temporary. They are not seeking marital partners, but they are open to the idea of marriage. These are usually younger men and women who are actively pursuing education, career goals, or “having a good time.” Ambivalents may be included among those who are cohabiting.

5. 2. Wishfuls
Wishfuls are involuntarily and temporarily single. They are actively seeking marital partners but have been unsuccessful so far. They consciously want to be married.

6. 3. Resolveds
Resolved individuals regard themselves as permanently single. A small percentage are priests or nuns or single parents who prefer rearing their children alone. The largest number, however, are “hardcore” singles who simply prefer the state of singlehood. Their numbers increased at fives times that of the population between 1970 and 1980.

7. 4. Regretfuls
Regretful singles would prefer to marry but are resigned to their “fate.” A large number of these are well-educated, high- earning women over forty who find a shortage of similar men as a result of the marriage gradient.

8. All but the resolveds share an important characteristic: they want to move from a single status to a romantic couple status. “The vast majority of never-married adults,” wrote Shostak (1987) “work at securing and enjoying romance.” Never married singles share with married North Americans “the high value they place on achieving intimacy and sharing love with a special one.” (Shostak, 1987)

9. Pushes and Pulls Towards Marriage
Cultural norms
Love and emotional security
Loneliness
Physical attraction and sex
Parental pressure
Desire for children
Economic pressure
Desire for extended family
Social stigma of singlehood
Economic security
Fear of independence
Peer example
Media images
Social status as “grown up”
Guilt over singlehood
Parental approval

10. Pushes and Pulls Towards Singlehood
Fundamental problems in marriage
Freedom to grow
Stagnant relationship with spouse
Self-sufficiency
Feelings of isolation and loneliness
Expanded friendships
Poor communication with spouse
Mobility
Unrealistic expectations of marriage
Career opportunities
Sexual problems
Sexual exploitation
Media images

11. Singles
Myths and Realities

12. Cargan and Melko, in a study, examined various myths and realities about singlehood. They concluded the following:

13. Myths
Singles are dependent on their parents. Few differences exist between singles and marrieds in their perceptions of their parents and relatives. They do not differ in perceptions of parental warmth or openness and differ only slightly in the amount and nature of parental conflicts.
Singles have more money. Married couples were better off economically than singles, in part because both partners worked.
Singles are happier. Singles tend to believe they are happier than marrieds, whereas marrieds believe they are happier than singles. Single men, however, exhibited more signs of stress than single women. A national survey conducted by Robert Weiss found that 23% of single men and 27% of single women felt lonely; in contrast, only 6% of married women and 10% of married men reported feeling lonely.

14. Singles view singlehood as a lifetime alternative
Singles view singlehood as a lifetime alternative. The majority of singles expected to be married within five years. They did not view singlehood as an alternative to marriage but as a transitional time in their lives.

15. Realities
Singles don’t easily fit into married society. Singles tend to socialize with other singles. Married people think that if they invite singles to their home, they must match them up with an appropriate single member of the other sex. Married people tend to think in terms of couples.
Singles have more time. Singles are more likely to go out twice a week and much more likely to go out three times a week compared with their married peers. Singles have more choices and more opportunities for leisure time activities.
Singles have more fun. Although singles tend to be less happy than marrieds, they have more “fun.” Singles go out more often, engage more in sports and physical activities, and have more sexual partners than marrieds. Apparently fun and happiness are not equated.

16. Singles are lonely. Singles tend to be more lonely than married people; the feeling of loneliness is more pervasive for the divorced than for the never-marrieds.

18. Singlehood VS Committed Relationship
DEBATE
Singlehood VS Committed Relationship