1. Interpersonal Attraction

2. Interpersonal Attraction
Most of our waking hours are spent in the presence of other people.
Larson et al. (1982) found that on average, American spent about ¾ of their waking hours with others
This finding has been replicated cross-culturally (Larson & Verma, 1999)
Would Larson find the same result in America today?

3. Infant Attachment Infants rely on others to survive Infant Attachment
Attachment refers to the bonds that are formed between an infant and the infant’s primary caregiver
Provides a sense of security and information about the environment
Attachment styles differ depending on the relationship between the infant and the primary caregiver.

4. Infant Attachment Ainsworth (1978) labeled three styles of attachment
Secure
The caregiver generally responds to the infant’s needs.
Avoidant
The caregiver is unresponsive or rejecting of the infant. As a result, the infant essentially “gives up” on getting a response from the caregiver.
Anxious/Ambivalent
The caregiver is anxious and responds to the infant’s needs sometimes, though not always.
Attachment is probably an evolutionary adaptation.

5. Adult Attachment Adult Romantic Attachment
Hazan & Shaver (1987) formed an attachment theory of adult romantic behavior
Infant attachment and romantic attachment share much in common
Securely attached 59%
Avoidant 25%
Anxious/Ambivalent 11%
Obviously, they differ as well
Adult relationships are reciprocal
Between peers
Involve sexual attraction

6. Adult Attachment
Early attachment experiences will influence how a person later forms relationships
However, we’re not tied to our previous attachment styles. New experiences can change the way we form relationships.
Likewise, different relationships can cause us to use different attachment orientations.

7. Adult Attachment Adult Attachment Styles Secure Adults Avoidant Adult
Find it easy to get close to others, have a happy relationship, don’t worry about abandonment, etc.
Avoidant Adult
Uncomfortable getting close to others, experience highs and lows, etc.
Anxious/Ambivalent
Seek intimacy but worry about the love being reciprocated, tend to become obsessive, etc.

8. Why We Form Relationships
Rewards of Social Relations (Weiss, 1974)
Attachment
Provides comfort for both infants and adults.
Social Integration
Having shared interests and attitudes with others provides a sense of belonging.
Reassurance of Worth
This is provided by others.
A Sense of Reliable Alliance
Being able to ask others for help.
Guidance
Others provide advice and information.
The Opportunity for Nurturance
Taking care of others gives us a sense of being needed.

9. Why We Form Relationships
Additionally, social support is strongly correlated with physical and mental health.
The benefits of having social relationships are numerous.
However, no single relationship will satisfy all of our social needs.
In general, the wider our social network, the better off we are.

10. Why We Form Relationships
Loneliness
Internal psychological state of discomfort felt when we have inadequate social relations
Can occur when someone is surrounded by people; can be lonely without being alone
Doesn’t necessarily occur when someone is alone; can be happy alone
Alone does not necessarily mean lonely, though the two often occur together.

11. Why We Form Relationships
National surveys indicate that 25% of the population has felt lonely within the last two weeks.
The level of loneliness people experience varies widely.
How lonely we are one day can be completely different another day.
How people respond to loneliness inducing situations varies.

12. Why We Form Relationships
Emotional Loneliness
Occurs with the lack of an intimate attachment figure
Social Loneliness
Occurs when the a person feels detached from their social network or community.
These two types of loneliness are independent of one another.
Can have either, both, or neither.

13. Why We Form Relationships
Loneliness Risk Factors
Background/Childhood Factors
e.g., avoidant or anxious/ambivalent attachment styles
Personality Factors
e.g., shyness, low self-esteem
Marital Status
Married people less likely to be lonely
Socioeconomic Status
The poor are more likely to be lonely.
Age
Highest among teenagers

14. Why We Form Relationships
Social Exchange Theory
Assumes that we stay in relationships with people because the benefits outweigh the costs.

15. Why We Form Relationships
Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Proximity
Familiarity
Similarity
Desirable Personal Attributes
Physical Attractiveness

16. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Proximity
The physical closeness of two people is the single best predictor of a social relationship being developed.
We’re more likely to know our neighbors than people 10 blocks away.
Is this changing with recent advancements in technology?

17. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Reasons for proximity’s effect
It’s hard to befriend someone if we’ve never met them or if we’re geographically isolated from them.
Cognitive Dissonance Theory
Being in constant contact with people we dislike causes dissonance.
How do we reduce dissonance?
Merely knowing about an upcoming interaction increases liking.

18. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Familiarity
Mere Exposure Effect (Zajonc, 1968)
Participants shown pictures of people, some pictures much more than others
Participants were then asked to rate each face for likeability and how well they thought they would they get along with the person
Results
The more a face was shown, the more positive the ratings given to that person.
This finding was replicated with repeated exposure to actual people

19. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Mita, Dermer, & Knight (1977)
The human face isn’t perfectly symmetrical
People prefer the way they look in the mirror, but their friends prefer their actual appearance
Reasons for the Mere Exposure Effect
Evolutionary Reasons
Innate fear of the unknown?
Repeated exposure → Recognition → Predictability
Assumption that familiar people are also similar to us

20. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Limits to the effect of Mere Exposure
Only effective when
the person is initially perceived as positive or neutral
that person’s interests are not in conflict with those of the perceiver’s
Too much exposure can cause boredom

21. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Similarity
“Birds of a feather flock together”
We like those with similar attitudes, interests, values, background, and personality
Byrne’s (1971) Phantom-Other Technique
Participants fill out a questionnaire and are then shown a questionnaire supposedly filled out by another participant
No “other” participant. The questionnaire was filled out specifically to be similar, moderately similar, or dissimilar to the participant’s.
Participants are then asked what they think of the other participant.
Results
Questionnaire similarity and participant liking of the phantom other were positively correlated.

22. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Matching Principle
We tend to date and marry similar others
Attitudes, interests, values, background, personality, age, intelligence, educational status, religion, attractiveness, height, etc.
Similarity and length of relationship is positively correlated.

23. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Reasons for Similarity Effect
Similarity is rewarding
Cognitive Consistency
Liking someone we disagree with causes dissonance
Expectancy-Value Theory
We value certain things (e.g., traits in others), but take into account the probability of getting them.
John (an average looking guy) may want to date a supermodel, but he consistently dates people with his own level of attractiveness.
John may fear rejection from those more attractive than him

24. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Proposed Mechanisms of the Similarity Effect
Selective Attraction
Only attracted to similar others
Social Influence
Over time, people become more similar because of their influence on each other
Environmental Factors
Only exposed to similar others because of situational factors.

25. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Similarity Effect Limitations
Similarity can be threatening
Bad things happening to similar others can cause us to avoid them.
Differences can be rewarding too
Once a person is accepted by others, differences are appreciated.
Allows for the sharing of pooled knowledge.

26. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Desirable Personal Attributes
Individual and cultural differences are huge.
Two traits seem to be universal:
Warmth & Competence
Warmth
We perceive people with positive attitudes as warm
Competence
Type of competence depends on the situation
However, we don’t like perfect people. (Aronson, Willerman, & Floyd, 1966)

27. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Physical Attractiveness
We like attractive people
Determining Attractiveness
Symmetric faces
Baby faces
“Average” faces are rated as more attractive than distinct faces
Strongly influenced by culture

28. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
                              
Which face is more attractive?

29. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
                              
22 pageant finalists morphed
Miss Germany 2002

30. Factors Involved in Interpersonal Attraction
Why Physical Attractiveness?
Halo Effect
Radiating Effect of Beauty
People like to be seen with attractive others since it enhances their own image.
Evolutionary Reasons
Attractiveness as a sign of good health
Choosing a mate with good health will make it more likely to pass on genes to offspring.

31. Mate Selection Top 10 Qualities in a Romantic Partner (Gilmour, 1988)
Women
successful
leadership
good job skills
earning potential
sense of humor
intellectual
attractive
commonsensical
athletic
logical
Men
attractive
good in bed
affectionate
good social skills
good homemaker
stylish
sensitive
tasteful
moral
artistic

32. Mate Selection Why the differences between genders?
Sociocultural Perspective
Social roles of men and women differ
Evolutionary Perspective
Men and women maximize their chances of reproductive success differently
Women “invest” a lot of time and effort for one child. As a result, choosing a mate that can provide necessary resources is desired.
Men can have many children throughout their lifetime, so choosing a healthy and fertile mate is desired.
Evidence exists for the plausibility of both perspectives.

33. Love Definition??!?! (Merriam-Webster)
strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
attraction based on sexual desire
affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
an assurance of love
warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
a beloved person
British -- used as an informal term of address
unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another
a god or personification of love
an amorous episode
the sexual embrace
a score of zero (as in tennis)
Social psychologists also have many definitions of love

34. Love Types of Love Feelings of Love Clyde & Henrick (1989)
Romantic, Possessive, Best-Friend, Pragmatic, Altruistic, Game-Playing
See Table 8.4, pg. 253.
Feelings of Love
Physical symptoms distinguish romantic vs. friendship types of love

35. Love Thoughts of people “in love” (Rubin, 1973) Attachment Caring
Perceiving the need of a partner to achieve goals.
Caring
Responding to the partner’s needs and promoting his/her need
Trust/Self-Disclosure
Being able to tell the partner intimate details without fear of being vulnerable.

36. Love
Behaviors of Love
What we say vs. what we do can differ in congruency
e.g., A significant other that claims love for you but consistently cancels engagements, forgets your birthday, and patronizes you…

37. Love Passionate Love emotionally charged
characteristic of the earlier stages of a relationship
preoccupation with the other person
often described as uncontrollable
effective in selling movie tickets

38. Love Companionate Love practical, realistic, moderate
typified by trust, caring, and tolerance of the partner’s flaws
develops slowly in a relationship
relatively ineffective in selling movie tickets

39. Love Sternberg’s (1986) Triangular Theory of Love
Proposed that all types of love have three basic components:
Intimacy
Feelings of closeness in the relationship
Same in all loving relationships
Passion
Drives that lead to intense emotions in relationships
Differs depending on the relationship
Commitment
Cognitive component
Decision to love someone
Short term vs. Long term

40. Love

41. Love
The Triangular Theory of Love predicts seven types of love based on the presence or absence of the three components
Liking
Intimacy without passion or commitment
Infatuation
Passion without intimacy or commitment
Empty
Commitment without passion and intimacy
Romantic
Passion and intimacy without commitment
Companionate
Intimacy and commitment without passion
Fatuous
Passion and commitment without intimacy
Consummate
Passion, commitment, and intimacy

42. Jealousy
Jealousy
The reaction to a perceived threat to the continuity or quality of a valued relationship
Those highly dependent on the relationship are most affected by feelings of jealousy