1. Techniques of Arousal and Communication
Chapter 10
Techniques of Arousal and Communication
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2. Erogenous Zones
Areas of the body that are particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation
Examples: genitals and breasts
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3. One-Person Sex Autoeroticism - sexual self-stimulation
Examples of autoeroticism:
Masturbation - self-stimulation
Sexual fantansy - sexual thought or images that alter the person’s emotions or physiological state
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4. Vibrators, Dildos, and Such
Dildo - rubber or plastic cylinder, often shaped like a penis; it can be inserted into the vagina or anus - used in masturbation
Vibrators - some shaped like a penis and others not, some are electric and some battery-operated; used for masturbation
Body oils - popular for sexual use
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5. Two-Person Sex Kissing Touching Hand stimulation of the male genitals
Hand stimulation of the female genitals
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6. The Other Senses Sights Smells Sounds Fantasy during two-person sex
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7. Genital-Genital Stimulation: Positions of Intercourse
Man on top - missionary position
Woman on top
Rear entry
Side to side
Other variations
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8. Mouth-Genital Stimulation
Cunnilingus - mouth stimulation of the female genitals
Fellatio - mouth stimulation of the male genitals
Sixty-Nining - simultaneous mouth-genital stimulation; also called soixante-neuf
Anal intercourse - insertion of the penis into the partner’s rectum
Anilingus - mouth stimulation of the partner’s anus
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9. Techniques of Lesbian and Gays
Mutual masturbation
Fellatio
Anal sex
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10. Techniques of Lesbian and Gays
Interfemoral intercourse - a man moves his penis between the thighs of the other
Tribadism - a woman lies on top of another and moves rhythmically in order to produce sexual pleasure
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11. Aphrodisiacs A substance that increases sexual desire
There is no known substance that works well as an aphrodisiac
Examples used: oysters, bananas, powdered rhinoceros horn, bull’s testicles, amyl nitrite, butyl nitrite
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12. Anaphrodisiacs A substance that decreases sexual desire
Examples used: potassium nitrate (saltpeter), cyproterone acetate
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13. Should Intercourse and Orgasm Be the Goal?
Our culture has traditionally held the belief that a sexual encounter should climax with intercourse and orgasm
Orgasm is good, but a large part of pleasure is the buildup to orgasm
Another goal of sex has been simultaneous orgasm
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14. From Inexperience to Boredom
Not everyone is as experienced as society expects
May cause performance anxiety
What to do
accept inexperience
“how-to” manuals
communicate
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15. Boredom Possible consequence of long-term sexual relationships
What to do
communicate
sex manuals
rejuvenate other aspects of relationship
don’t expect too much from sex
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16. Communication and Sex
Communication and relationships - positive communication is important in developing and maintaining intimate relationships
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17. Communication and Sex
Self-disclosure - telling personal things about yourself
Closely related to satisfaction with the relationship
Helps a relationship progress
Patterns of self-disclosure can predict whether a couple stays together or not
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18. Being an Effective Communicator
Good messages
Complain rather than criticize; use “I” language
Don’t mind read - make assumptions about what partner thinks or feels
Documenting - giving specific examples of the issue being discussed
Offer limited choices - offering a set of acceptable alternatives
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19. Leveling and Editing
Leveling - telling your partner what you are feeling by stating your thoughts clearly, simply, and honestly
Editing - censoring or not saying things that would be deliberately hurtful to your partner or that are irrelevant
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20. Listening
Listening - actively trying to understand what the other person is saying
Nondefensive listener - focusing on what your partner is saying and feeling, and not immediately becoming defensive or counterattacking with complaints of your own
Paraphrasing - saying, in your own words, what you thought your partner meant
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21. Validating
Validating - telling your partner that, given his or her point of view, you can see why he or she thinks a certain way
Drawing your partner out
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22. Body Talk: Nonverbal Communication
Communication not through words, but through the body
Examples: eye contact, tone of voice, touching
Accentuate the positive - happy couples make more positive communications
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23. Fighting Fair
A set of rules designed to make arguments constructive rather than destructive
Checking out sexy signals
Ambiguous messages can lead to feelings of hurt and rejection, or to anger
Don’t make any assumptions about the meaning of ambiguous messages
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