1. Presented For The Florida Public Human Resources Association
Put A CAP on Conflict
Presented For The Florida Public Human Resources Association
Presented by Steve Rosenthal and Richard Samolewicz

2. Conflict Resolution: Communication Tips
Conflict resolution and management is handling conflict constructively. If we can teach supervisors and managers a process that is successful, we are able to carry out the goals and objectives of the department and achieve success.

3. Conflict Resolution: Communication Tips
Remember conflict is inevitable within a workforce, however how we as individuals deal with the conflict will determine our success in making our environment more positive.

4. Conflict Abatement: A Starting Place
Progress does not take place in the past; it only takes place in the future.
When trying to deal with a problem that exists between two parties it is important to remember to avoid reliving the hard feelings or misunderstandings of the past.
Often people tend to relive their frustrations with each other only to increase their anger and create even greater difficulties to resolve these issues.

5. What Leads To Conflict? An Incident or List of Incidents
Differing Personalities
Interaction Styles
Carrying Old Baggage
Bad behavior by Individuals and Groups
Inability to Accept Differences
Skeletons in the closet
And The List Goes On...

6. Who Will Try To End The Conflict?
Individuals
Supervisors
Upper Management
Human Resources
You!

7. The Individual Approach To Putting A CAP on Conflict
Requires serious active listening by supervisors
The Use of “I” messages not “You” messages
Takes discipline and requires keen observation by supervisors
There is a process that starts with one asking for help
Includes facilitating resolutions (negotiating agreements) of new behaviors
Requires controlled individuals dedicated to eliminating the conflict

8. The Traditional Way For Approaching Conflict
1. Identify the issues (Listen carefully and summarize the key issues and concerns)
2. Explore the issues (Explore and acknowledge the needs, wants and interests of parties)
3. Generate solutions and options (Facilitate discussion toward mutual agreement and understanding)
4. Make agreements (Be specific about who, what, when, where, how)

9. The Traditional Way For Approaching Conflict Often Fails
Usually approached too late
Reliving past further emotionalizes situation
Employees try to get a supervisor to choose who is right
Employees involve other employees
Limited success for a possible limited time

10. Putting A C.A.P on Conflict
Step 1- You have to teach how to identify critical conflicts and the necessity for resolving them.
You have to prepare your supervisors for approaching the participants prior to sitting down and "capping" the conflict. This is where supervisory observation is most important.
Step 2- You will have to teach how to meet with your participants
- how to begin the dialogue
- how to eliminate the "emotional noise" of the conflict between the parties.

11. Putting A C.A.P on Conflict
Your supervisors will have to learn how to instruct their employees on developing their behavioral lists for new behavior.
Step 3- At this step the supervisor will facilitate the process of the parties negotiating the lists, keeping the dialogue process positive, and turning the lists into agreements.
Step 4- At this step the supervisor monitors the actions taken by both parties. They must anticipate and react to typical issues that arise and how to facilitate an amending of the agreements.

12. Managed Conflict Versus Out-of-Control Conflict
Strengthens relationships and builds teamwork
Damages relationships and discourages cooperation
Encourages open communication and cooperative problem-solving
Results in defensiveness and hidden agendas
Resolves disagreements quickly and increases productivity
Wastes time, money and human resources
Deals with real issues and concentrates on win-win resolution
Focuses on fault-finding and blaming
Makes allies and diffuses anger
Creates enemies and hard feelings
Airs all sides of an issue in a positive, supportive environment
Creates discipline and discharge, stress producing and energy draining
Calms and focuses toward results
Is often loud, hostile and chaotic

13. The “CORE” of CAP
A Facilitated Approach which is Voluntary or Agreed Upon
Allows each party - “dump out- not on” to explain how they feel when they have to work with each other in a respectful way
Each will hear the “emotional noise” that is the stress each of them feel.
Each party gets equal time to vent and then discuss.

14. The “CORE” of CAP
Let the parties separate and come back with a list of “more of” – “less of”-What they want the person to do more of or less of so they can get along better.
Then we negotiate or agree to the lists.

15. Supervisors Must Learn CAP Skills
Before meeting with the participants they both have to agree to do this voluntarily, this is not mandated.
You also have to explain to the parties that there will be no notes , recordings or telephone calls made during this process. It’s basically an open discussion before a facilitator.
How to talk with the participants.
Individually and Jointly
Ask the other person to name a time when it would be convenient to meet.
Arrange to meet in a place where you won't be interrupted.
Make sure that upper management is aware of what you are doing.

16. Supervisors Must Learn CAP Skills
4. Focus on behavior and events, not on personalities.
Say “When this happens …” instead of “When you do …”
Describe a specific instance or event instead of generalizing.
They need to know this can’t continue.
5. Employ active listening skills.
Listen to what the other person is saying instead of getting ready to react.
Avoid interrupting the other person.
After the other person finishes speaking, rephrase what was said to make sure you understand it.
Ask questions to clarify your understanding.

17. Supervisors Must Learn CAP Skills
6 Identify points of concern from both parties.
Discuss the lists
Summarize concerns, agreements and disagreements.
7. Facilitate the new beginning or agreement.
Discuss the items that each has agreed to do “more of” and “less of.”
8. Develop a monitoring plan to work on creating new behaviors.
Start with the importance of a commitment to the plan.
Discuss how they can amend the plan.
Focus on the future.
Set up future meeting times to continue your discussions.

18. Supervisors Must Learn CAP Skills
9. Follow through on your monitoring plan.
Show your commitment to them as the facilitator.
Maintain a collaborative, “let’s-work-out-a-solution” attitude.
Follow-up (Most Important) with each party to make sure that what was discussed and agreed to is working. This can be done on a one week, two week, one month , or two month interval but this needs to be done to show the participants that you care about their success.
10. Build on your success.
Look for opportunities to point out progress.
Compliment the parties insights and achievements.
Congratulate each other when they make progress, even if it’s just a small step. Your hard work will pay off when scheduled discussions eventually give way to ongoing, better behaviors.

19. Eight CAP Strategies No Matter Your Process
Approach conflict with an open mind. Different people have different perceptions, and solving workplace conflicts requires finding a common ground, not waiting until one person caves to the other. “ Our role is to foster a new beginning for new behaviors.
Focus the participants that their commitment is to end the conflict with things they can agree about. Help them take an objective look at themselves and recognize they did contribute to the situation. They don’t have to ever agree on who was wrong or had more responsibility. They only have to agree on handling themselves differently in the future.

20. Eight CAP Strategies No Matter Your Process
Focus on everyone being respectful of differences. Workplaces are diverse places, today more than ever, and what is acceptable to one person may be offensive to another.
Try to cut the conflict off in its early stages. It probably will not get better but it has a great possibility of getting worse. Communicate your desire to facilitate a less stressful tomorrow by structuring with them a better today.
Active listening is a first defense to avoid situations rapidly getting out of hand. Asking for Help and the “More of” “Less of” technique diffuses emotional buildup.

21. Eight CAP Strategies No Matter Your Process
Language is everything. Verbal and body language transmit the message and the sincerity. Be mindful of your language. It is important to avoid assigning blame to the parties you are working with, and taking note of the words you use will help you avoid falling into this trap. Try to use "I" statements that explain how you feel, and give examples of why you feel that way. Avoid the accusatory “you” message.
Asking for help is a great tool for facilitators and parties alike to open up an issue without being accusatory. “I have a concern about …and I need your help in understanding why…”

22. Eight CAP Strategies No Matter Your Process
Be sure the issues are resolved. The issues or behavior isn't properly resolved until the parties in the argument are exhibiting new acceptable behaviors. Set guidelines for how they are to handle a similar situation that develops in the future. "You might say something like, 'Let's commit that you will let each other know right away if either of you do something to upset the other and utilize the skills I’ve taught you to resolve it or come to me to help you with the issue.'

23. Putting a CAP on Conflict
We Can Do It!
with
Training a Process
Starting With Supervisors and then Bringing Training Down to Rank-In-File
Considering it Part of Better Communication!
Recognizing That Conflict is Part of A Working Environment
Understanding That How We Handle It Makes A Big Difference!
The Challenge Is For All Of Us!