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2. College Essay Workshop
Lloyd Savage and Amy Cocchiola

3. Before we begin…
We are offering this because we care about your success and we want to help as many people as possible. We are NOT being paid. We are NOT college admissions officers. We are not here to stroke your egos. Your essays are your responsibility to adjust as you see fit. We will give advice but we cannot guarantee acceptance. If at any time you feel uncomfortable of the advice we give, please leave quietly and find an alternative source of help.

4. Getting help from teachers…professional etiquette:Do
Get help from the assigning teacher
Seek out help from familiar teachers
Ask in person
Come with an open mind
Stay and work WITH the teacher
Make revisions before visiting
Bring a clean, hard copy
Do not
Play one teacher against another
Surprise unfamiliar teachers with requests
Wait until the last minute
Argue
“Drop your essay off”
Use your first draft
Bring in an incomplete work

5. Before writing (and as you revise)
Think about who you are
What have you done?
How are you special?
How did you overcome adversity?
What have you done to further cultural tolerance?
How can you help the university?

6. Addressing the prompts
Choose the prompt that will allow you the most opportunity to “show”:
Achievements
How you are different from all the other applicants
How you struggled but overcame AN obstacle
How you have been an integral part of cultural tolerance
How much better you will make the university

7. Common essay errors Have you made these?
Vague explanations and few details
Too broad a topic/too many topics or ideas
Bland experience that doesn’t stand out
Explaining what “experience does”
Repetition

8. Common essay TOPIC errors
Lots of students have food allergies, do overseas mission trips, are in band, are in clubs, deal with single parents, get concussions, suffer depression, play sports, have high GPAs, and take advanced classes.
So pick something only you can claim or
Put a unique spin, analysis, or creative way you handled the situation

9. Common App. prompts
You’re about to see 5 prompts. Ask yourself which option provides the best path to showcasing yourself being well-rounded and culturally sensitive. Do NOT make a choice based on what you like best or which one seems easiest.
The underlined words seem important and the black words stand out most.

10. 1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?
4. Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

11. These 2 stood out to me based on the highlighted words
These 2 stood out to me based on the highlighted words. These seems to be “buzzwords” that colleges might pick up on. It also pushes you to think outside yourself and show how well you work with others.
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
4. Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

12. University of Florida prompts
1. Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
2. Describe a time when you made a meaningful contribution to others in which the greater good was your focus. Discuss the challenges and rewards of making your contribution.
3. Has there been a time when you've had a long-cherished or accepted belief challenged? How did you respond? How did the challenge affect your beliefs?
4. What is the hardest part of being a teenager now? What's the best part? What advice would you give a younger sibling or friend (assuming they would listen to you)?
5. Submit an essay on a topic of your choice.

13. 2. Describe a time when you made a meaningful contribution to others in which the greater good was your focus. Discuss the challenges and rewards of making your contribution.
This prompt seems to have the most potential is showcasing your abilities to lead others and make a positive impact on something greater than yourself.
It doesn’t matter what the topic is as long as you:
stay specific
indicate respect for others/culture
mention how this will be positive for the university
etc…

14. Florida State University prompts
1. Describe an experience from your life that either demonstrates your character or helped shape it.
2. Describe a time when you made a meaningful contribution to others in which the greater good was your focus. Discuss the challenges and rewards of making your contribution.
3. Has there been a time when you've had a long-cherished or accepted belief challenged? How did you respond? How did the challenge affect your beliefs?

15. 2. Describe a time when you made a meaningful contribution to others in which the greater good was your focus. Discuss the challenges and rewards of making your contribution.
Of the 3 FSU prompts, this one seems the hardest. By eliminating the personal narrative option present in the other 2, this prompt forces you to consider how you have had an effect on others. A university would be more interested in hearing how you can contribute to their student body versus what you think of yourself.
Remember to stick to a single contribution—be specific and detailed.

16. So now what…
Look at your draft with respect to what we have talked about
Take a few minutes to draw up notes about what needs to change
Be sure to mark good things too
Ask us to come over
Take notes as we talk to you about your essay

17. The take away If you’ve learned nothing else…
Be respectful with those trying to help
Be honest with yourself and your abilities
Show positive differences from the competition
Explain how you will make the university a better place
Specific details about touchstone moments
Cultural sensitivity
Draft, revise, draft again, etc.

18. Questions?