1. Peter Fitch, St. Croix Vineyard Sunday, January 1, 2017
Maintaining Joy
Peter Fitch, St. Croix Vineyard
Sunday, January 1, 2017

2. First, examining what is not . . .

3. To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love Thich Nhat Hanh

4. Main Sources
“Complaining Is Terrible for You, According to Science: Steeping yourself in negativity has seriously terrible consequences for your mental and physical health” Jessica Stillman, Inc.com
“Getting stuck in the negatives (and how to get unstuck)” Alison Ledgerwood, TEDxUCDavis
“The Science of Happiness: Why complaining is literally killing you” Steven Parton, curiousapes.com

5. Joy depends upon gratitude, but . . .
We are often more affected by sorrow than by happiness
Harder to change a loss perspective to gain than it is to change a gain to a loss
There can be physiological reasons for this
Complaining gets easier (“Synapses that fire together wire together”)
We create the neural pathways (in some ways we are our own parents)

6. Complaining
Most of us would try not to break wind in an elevator . . .
However, complaining is doing this on an emotional level (emotional farting)
Strangely, we tend to take on the moods of the people that we’re spending time with (mirror neurons)
Good side: empathy; bad side: sinking into the hole that complaining digs
This is walking straight away from joy
It can also lead to all sorts of health problems

7. Back to synapses
If two pairs of people are playing catch, and pair is 10 feet apart and the other is 100 feet apart, which pair will make a catch if the balls are thrown at the same time?
It’s not a trick!
This is what we need to learn how to do: “passover” the first catch and push into the universe of our brain to make the second catch

8. Complaining about self powerful and destructive
Remember Janis Ian’s song: At Seventeen (released 1975) I learned the truth at seventeen, That love was meant for beauty queens, And high school girls with clear skinned smiles, Who married young and then retired. The valentines I never knew, The Friday night charades of youth, Were spent on one more beautiful, At seventeen I learned the truth. And those of us with ravaged faces, Lacking in the social graces, Desperately remained at home, Inventing lovers on the phone, Who called to say - come dance with me, And murmured vague obscenities, It isn't all it seems at seventeen

9. New song: Scars to Your Beautiful (Alessia Cara)
She just wants to be beautiful, She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits, She craves attention, she praises an image, She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor, Oh, she don't see the light that's shining Deeper than the eyes can find it, Maybe we have made her blind, So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away, 'Cause cover girls don't cry after their face is made, But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark, You should know you're beautiful just the way you are, And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart, No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful

10. Scripture:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2,3)
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love” (1 John 4:18)

11. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4 for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. 5 We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ . . .

12. Thérèse de Lisieux ( )
If you are willing to serenely bear the trial of being displeasing to yourself, then you will be for Jesus a pleasant place of shelter
1/31/11

13. “There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark”
Play catch with love, not fear
Play catch with truth, not lies
Play catch with joy, not the dismal hole of self-doubt