1. Chapter 2 The Challenges of Parenting
Section 1- Parenting and Families

2. Parenting is a job unlike any other. Parents work hard but are not paid. They are on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Fortunately, being a parent can bring on unique rewards. Parents cherish those times when a family seems especially close or has fun together. They watch with pride as their children become adults, ready to start independent lives of their own. For most parents, they joys outweigh the challenges.

3. How would you define the role of a parent?
What are some possible changes that come with being a parent?
How can a potential parent prepare for the new role?

4. Parenting: A Learning Process
Parenting- caring for children and helping them grow and develop- is complicated.
It requires understanding a child’s needs and meeting them, as well as good judgment:
There are times when parents need to know when to help and when to let children try a task of their own- even if it means they will fail. Children have to learn how to bounce back after setbacks and try again.

5. Parents need to decide when to encourage children to try different activities. It is important to allow children the freedom to explore their own likes and dislikes. While parents want to avoid pushing children into activities they are not yet ready for, they need to encourage children to engage in enjoyable activities.
The skills parents need change as their children get older. Parents must adapt their parenting skills to each stage of their children’s development.

6. It’s not just parents who need parenting skills
It’s not just parents who need parenting skills. Anyone who lives or works with children can benefit from knowing about child development and parenting.
By learning about parenting skills and how to apply them, people who interact with children have a positive influence on them.
Can you think of any children who you are a role model to? What are things that you can do to act as a positive role model?

7. Having Reasonable Expectations
“Act your age.” “How old are you, anyway?” “Would you grow up?” Do these sound familiar? Many parents have made remarks like these to their children, but what adults don’t often realize is that children usually do act their age… adults don’t always know what to expect from children at different ages.
Having reasonable expectations for children is the essential first step in effective parenting.

8. Even when parents and caregivers know what children are like at different ages, it is important for them to remember that each child is an individual.
Some children learn to walk earlier than others.
Some need extra encouragement in making friends.
Some children immediately respond when given directions, while others may need gentle reminders and more time to complete tasks.
It is important to accept and respect the differences among children.

9. Can parenting be learned, or is it something you’re born with the ability to do?

10. Developing Parenting Skills
There are many different ways to gain parenting skills.
Classes in child development and parenting are good sources of information and help
Hospitals, schools, community groups, and private instructors may offer courses
Classes might target certain ages, certain behavioral or health challenges, different issues, or coping with difficult family issues (like financial stress or relationship problems)

11. Other ways to gain parenting skills are:
Read reliable books, magazine articles, and online information about parenting (just be careful of your sources)
Gain experience working with or caring for children, informally or as a job
Ask the advice of family and friends who have parenting experience
Observe parents and children wherever possible
Take advantage of as many learning opportunities as possible
Each child is different, so some ideas and techniques might not work with some children
Learning different strategies helps make you more likely to find one to match a particular child or situation

12. The Stages of Parenthood
Between Generations: The Six Stages of Parenthood by psychologist Ellen Galinsky
Describes how parents typically develop through their interactions with their children
Findings based on interviews with parents
Identifying stages is important because they describe how parents develop and change, just as the children do
When parents are aware of the stages, they can be more prepared for parenthood and are more likely to be effective parents, leading to happier, more satisfied lives

13. Galinsky’s Stages of Parenthood
Time Period
Parents’ Tasks
Image-Making
Pregnancy
Begin to imagine themselves as parents
Nurturing
Birth to Age 2
Become emotionally attached to child
May question relative worth of other priorities
Authority
Age 2 to Ages 4-5
Determine rules
Clarify role as authority figure
Interpretive
Ages 4-5 to Age 13
Rethink their role as parents
Decide what knowledge, skills, and values the child needs
Interdependent
Adolescence
Establish boundaries
Find disciplinary methods appropriate for teens
Departure
Child Leaves Home
Evaluate their parenting

14. The Changes That Parenthood Brings
When a child joins the family- whether by birth, remarriage, or adoption- parents feel great joy.
Some also feel that a great burden has been placed on their shoulders
The decision to become a parent is a serious one… just think about all of the things that your parents do for you!
Being a parent radically changes a person’s life and creates new long-term responsibilities

15. The Challenges of Parenthood
Many new parents say that having children changes everything and presents many challenges
As the “newness” of parenthood passes, many parents adjust to the changes and find that their lives are enriched by the presence of a child
Some of the major challenges include: New Responsibilities, Changes in Lifestyle, Emotional Adjustments, Changes in Relationships, and Employment

16. New Responsibilities
Once people become parents, the can no longer think of only their own needs,
They have considerably less time for themselves.
They must always consider their child’s needs- first and foremost.
Children need physical care, financial support, love, and guidance.

17. New Responsibilities (continued…)
First-time parents can feel overwhelmed by these new responsibilities
Family and friends can help in many ways, from watching the baby while the parent goes shopping to just listening or helping solve a problem.
Communities have many resources too, including religious organizations, government agencies, and support groups.

18. Changes in Lifestyle
New parents have to adjust to major changes in their daily lives.
Caring for a child- especially a newborn- takes a huge amount of time and energy.
A newborn must be fed every few hours- day and night. In addition, babies must be diapered, played with, comforted, and supervised for safety.
Think about your schedule and how your life would change if you had a child…

19. Changes in Lifestyle (continued…)
With children of any age, parents have limits placed on their personal freedom.
They have less time to spend with friends.
Instead of unwinding after work, they have to fix dinner, spend time with the children, bathe them, and put them to bed.
While it can be disappointing, sometimes plans have to be changed.

20. Changes in Lifestyle (continued…)
Parents are better able to adjust to these changes if they prepare for them
Taking classes and caring for the child of a friend or relative can help give an idea of what it is really like to live with a child.
There is no substitute for the experience of parenting, but making an effort to learn about child development and parenthood can make the demands of the job les surprising and unsettling.

21. Emotional Adjustments
Parenthood requires many emotional adjustments,
Going though so many changes is stressful in itself.
On top of that, many parents feel conflicting- and sometimes difficult- emotions, such as:
Fear of not being a good parent.
Frustration at the loss of personal freedom and the addition of new responsibilities.
Worry over money matters.
Jealousy of the baby and the attention he or she gets from the other parent, friends, and relatives.
Depression due to exhaustion or to the physical changes of pregnancy and birth.

22. Emotional Adjustments (continued…)
Parents can feel confused and troubled by those negative emotions, but, in time, most get over these rough spots.
They learn that these emotions are common among new parents, and they learn how to handle them.
If these feeling persist, however, it’s important to tell someone and get the help needed.

23. Changes in Relationships
When people become parents (especially for the first- time), they are likely to notice changes in how they interact with each other and other family members
The birth of a baby is an exciting time, but sometimes parents might feel overwhelmed by concerns, negative emotions, and lack of sleep.
Having patience and trying to be understanding can reduce the danger of frustration boiling over into anger.
One key to getting past such trouble spots is for the couple to communicate effectively.

24. Changes in Relationships (continued…)
A new baby changes the relationship between the new parents and their own parents.
Most grandparents feel love and joy and want to spend time with their grandchild.
Some grandparents may offer to help with child care or household chores.
Some grandparents freely share advice based on their own parenting experience.

25. Changes in Relationships (continued…)
Sometimes, however, offers of help or advice cause friction.
New parents may resent advice they perceive as criticism.
At the same time, the grandparents may feel hurt if their suggestions or offers of help are rejected.
On the other hand, new parents often find that having a baby brings them closer to their own parents. Understanding the sacrifices and work involved in parenting, they new appreciate their own parents even more.

26. Employment Having children can have an impact on careers.
Some parents stop working or cut back on their hours to care for their children.
People who were accustomed to working overtime and weekends or traveling for their jobs may be less willing to do so once they become parents.
Some employers have policies to help working parents. They may offer flexible hours, part-time work, or work-at- home options. Others have child care facilities at or near the workplace.

27. The Rewards of Parenthood
While parenthood is a lot of work and responsibility, it brings many joys as well. Parents feel happiness, pride, and love that they have never felt before.
By helping children discover the world, parents often see it with new eyes themselves.
Having children can also enrich an already strong marriage.
Raising children can give parents a great sense of accomplishment. Getting a first-hand look at the learning and growing process of a child is very rewarding for a parent.

28. Write a list of questions you would want to ask your spouse before deciding to have a child.
What responses would you consider acceptable to those questions?
What would you do if your spouse did not respond acceptably?

29. Making Decisions About Parenthood
People considering parenthood should take a close look at what parenting involves.
This includes looking at their own emotional maturity as well as health considerations, financial concerns, and how skilled they are at managing personal resources.

30. Emotional Maturity
To handle the changes and demands that parenthood brings, a person needs emotional maturity.
People who are emotionally mature:
Are responsible enough to consistently put someone else’s needs before their own needs.
Are secure without expecting anything in return.
Can control their temper when an infant cries for hours on end or a child breaks a favorite possession.
Are able to handle being consistently on call.

31. Emotional Maturity (continued…)
Prospective parents should take an inventory of their own emotional maturity.
Are they truly equipped to handle the challenges of parenthood?
If there are doubts. It is best to put aside the desire for a child until they are convinced they have the maturity it takes to raise one.

32. Desire for Parenthood
Some prospective parents hope that having a child will help them solve some personal problems, such as low self-esteem or marriage difficulties.
Not all the reasons for wanting children show a real readiness for parenthood.

33. Health Considerations
Before pregnancy, it is best for both prospective parents to have a medical check-up.
Some medical problems can affect the health of a baby or the parent’s ability to raise a child.
The age of the prospective mother is another consideration. If she is under 17 or over 35, pregnancy is riskier for both her and her baby.
Pregnant teens, for example, are less likely to have proper nutrition, gain adequate weight, and seek good prenatal care than older expectant mothers. These issues can adversely affect the teen’s health as well as her baby’s.

34. Health Considerations (continued…)
Women over 35 are at greater risk for developing diabetes and a potentially dangerous type of high blood pressure during pregnancy. There are also higher rates of birth defects among children born to older mothers.
Who else (based on health considerations) may have a greater risk of complications?

35. Financial Concerns Raising a child is expensive.
It requires the financial resources to pay for clothes, health care, food, equipment, and other expenses.
Before deciding on parenthood, couples should consider the costs of having a child during the first year and in the years ahead.
It is not unusual for couples to have to change their way of life in order to meet these expenses.

36. Financial Concerns (continued…)
If both prospective parents work, they need to think about what they will do after the baby arrives.
Will one parent stop working? If so, how will they cope with the drop in family income.
If both parents continue working, how will they arrange for reliable child cade and have the money to pay for it?

37. Resource Management Skills
Parents need to use the resources they have available wisely to provide for their families.
Money is just one resource.
Time, skills, and energy are others.
Most resources are limited, so applying a process for managing them can help parents do their best for all family members.
There are five steps to good resource management:

38. Set goals.- Decide what is important and then turn those things into personal goals.
Identify resources.- Make a list of the resources needed to achieve the goal.
Make a plan.- Decide how to use the identified resources to achieve the desired goal.
Put the plan into action.- Start working toward the goals using the steps outlined in the plan.
Reevaluate from time to time.- Step back and take stock of progress. Are more or different resources needed? Was the goal achieved? What are some new goals to work toward?

39. Chapter 2, Section 1 Review Questions

40. 1) Why do parents have to change the way they parent over the years?

41. 2) What are three ways to build parenting skills?

42. 3) Identify and describe three of Galinsky’s stages of parenthood.

43. 4) Describe the adjustment that people face when they become parents.

44. 5) What is emotional maturity? Why is it vital to parenting success?

45. 6) Name two steps to good resource management, and tell how these steps relate to parenting.

46. 7) Think of a time when you experienced something for the first time
7) Think of a time when you experienced something for the first time. What were some of the stages? What were some of the rewards?