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Chapter 9 Developing Your Emotional Intelligence

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Presentation on theme: "Chapter 9 Developing Your Emotional Intelligence"— Presentation transcript:

1 Chapter 9 Developing Your Emotional Intelligence

2 Chapter 9 - Overview The Concept of Emotional Intelligence
Effectiveness in Relationships The Win-Win Frame Empathy Pathways Through Anger Forgiveness

3 Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Self-Awareness Adopting the Witnessing Stance Good Decision Making Managing Emotions Stress Mastery Working Past Anger Optimism Rational Thinking Self-Motivation Perseverance Rewarding Yourself Delaying Gratification Time Management Perceptiveness Reading Nonverbal Cues Empathy – Stepping into Shoes of the Other Handling Relationships Listening Skills Conversational Skills Assertive Skills Looking for Win-Win Outcomes Conflict Resolution

4 Effectiveness in Relationships
Independence – Your life is your responsibility Interdependence – Two or more independent individuals working on a goal resulting in synergy Codependence – Create situations where they will not be left alone Can only be Interdependent if you are Independent

5 Mental Sets Essential for Win-Win Outcomes
Make deposits in the Emotional Bank Account Give up being right Steps into the shoes of the other

6 How to Make Deposits in the Emotional Bank Account
Understand the individual Attend to the little things Keep your commitments Clarify your expectations Show personal integrity Apologize sincerely when you have made a withdrawal

7 Empathy Imagining how the world looks through the eyes of another
Mirror Neurons – Have the ability to fire in the exact pattern that they would have to fire in order to execute the behavior that is being observed Benefits of Empathy Blocks to Empathy More responsive to others Happier Do Good – Feel Good Effect Snap Judgments Believing the world is a just place where people get what they deserve

8 Cultivating Empathy Practice active listening
Utilize reframing to counteract snap judgments Engage in random acts of kindness Pay attention to the similarities Engage in community service Open your heart Try on the shoes of the other Raise your children to be helpful

9 Tips for Controlling Anger
Become Self-Aware Adopt the Witnessing Stance Interrupt Angry Thoughts Cognitive Restructuring Thought Stopping Cultivate Empathy Step into the Shoes of the Other Learn to Laugh at Yourself Practice Active Relaxation Skills Diaphragmatic Breathing Progressive Relaxation Exercise Learn to Listen Well Take the Risk to Trust Practice Forgiveness for Others and for Yourself Take a Cooling Off Period if Necessary Make an Appointment to Discuss the Conflict Later when Cooler Heads Prevail


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