1. Dave Chappelle
David Khari Webber "Dave" Chappelle is an American comedian, screenwriter, television/film producer, and actor. In 2003, he became widely known for his popular sketch comedy television series, Chappelle's Show.Chappelle was born in Washington, D.C. more..

2. “
Dave Chappelle:"This is one thing that happens that's funny. You know sometimes I'll be on a business call with some body, like a lawyer. And you know, my lawyers be white. And they'll be like 'Okay Dave, we're gonna close the deal. Is that okay with you?' I'll be like 'Yeah that's cool for me.' 'Great. Great. You have a good weekend, Dave.' I be like, 'Alrght you too man. Peace.' 'Uh...uhh alright. Bye bye.' They don't know what to say, right?" #Voting

3. “
Dave Chappelle:You! Do you know what dog food tastes like? Do ya? It tastes just like it smells...delicious! #Taste

4. “
Dave Chappelle:In an interview with James Lipton: #Interviews

5. “
Dave Chappelle:"I could be the first black president. I mean I don't think anyone would hurt me; some people might want to hurt me, but I don't think they'd touch me. Because my vice president would be Mexican for a little "insurance." I mean you can shoot me, but you're just gonna open up the border." #President

6. “
Dave Chappelle:You crazy, Joe Rogan! #Marriage

7. “
Dave Chappelle:This bores me. Anyone up for a game of basketball? #Basketball

8. “
Dave Chappelle:"That's that whole police brutality thing. See that's common knowledge now. There used to be a time when only minorities really knew about that. Now I'm not saying white people didn't believe us, but you were a little skeptical. Then the NewsWeek printed it and you knew it was true. 'Oh my god...Honey did you see this? Aparently, the police have been beating up Negros like hot cakes!' Really though, how could you know? I mean you should have been a little suspicious. Don't you think its a little suspicious...that every dead black person the police find has crack sprinkled on him? I mean come on. Who gets shot and then sprinkles crack on themselves?" #Airplane and Aviation

9. “
Dave Chappelle:Break yo'self foo! #Habit

10. “
Dave Chappelle:Peanut-Butter and Crack sandwich! #Dissatisfaction

11. “
Dave Chappelle:Is this the 5 o'clock free crack giveaway?! #Freedom

12. “
Dave Chappelle:I'm gonna tell you something about me, Joe Rogan, that you might not know...I smoke rocks! #Marriage

13. “
Dave Chappelle:About dead prez at Dave Chappelle's Block Party: #Politicians and Politics

14. “
Dave Chappelle:Let me show you how I go to the bathroom. (Proceeds to defecate in the classroom rubbish bin). #Creation

15. “
Dave Chappelle:"And then Ed Bradly looked right at the camera and said 'Don't bust that nut yet, we'll be right back.' #Photography

16. “
Dave Chappelle:Let he who is without sin throweth the first rock...and I shalt smoketh it #Anger

17. “
Dave Chappelle:(Talking to Cornrow Wallace in his prison cell) It's called crack! It's great! And it's so simple to make! All you need is some cocaine and some baking soda, and I think I tasted egg and cinnamon. Whoever sells this stuff, is gonna be RICH. #Alcohol and Alcoholism

18. “
Dave Chappelle:Chappelle's Show #

19. “
Dave Chappelle:It is truly an honor and a privilege for me to be here at Pinehurst School, or whatever your school is called today. I say it's a privilege, because its a violation of my parole to be around children. But enough about that! Hello little boys and little girls! Mmmmm Mmmm Mmmm! #Quotations

20. “
Dave Chappelle:"A black person would never dream of talkin to the police high; that's a waste of weed." #Dreams

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