1. Boosting Self- Confidence and Self- Esteem
LeAnna Rice
Mental Health Outreach Coordinator

2. The UCC University Counseling Center 15 counselors
Social Work Graduate Interns
Peer Educators (M-Hope)
2 Clerical Staff Members
New Location!!! Old O’Connor, 2nd Floor
Website:
Phone Number:

3. Difference Between Self-esteem and Self-confidence
Your opinion of yourself and your worth
How you feel about yourself as a person
Self-confidence:
Your view on your abilities to accomplish something
How you feel about your abilities to handle certain situations and tasks
Can be confident in one area, but not in another

4. Interaction between the Two
If you have high self-confidence, you may realize your strengths and therefore view yourself as a stronger individual which can increase self-esteem
Some people with high confidence have low self-esteem:
Celebrities: outstanding talent, confidence in their abilities, but so much pressure to act or look a certain way which lowers their self- esteem

5. People base their self- esteem and confidence on:
Competence: who you are is linked to how well you perform at things that matter most to you
Reaching goals, motivation, and personal abilities
But, linking your self-esteem to competence can result in some unhealthy behaviors: perfectionism, being too afraid to try for fear of failure
Worthiness: concerned with being “good enough”
Acceptance or rejection of others (worthy as an individual or in a group)
Example: track runner, that’s all you focus on, but then lets say you get injured and cant play anymore, where is your self esteem going to come from? Also, this can result in comparing yourself to other people
Being successful in areas that aren’t that important to you doesn’t necessarily boost self esteem  must be something that is important to you
Competence: fragile foundation cause failure is always possible, prevalent in western countries
Worthiness values interpersonal relationships
Competence if more of a behavior, worthiness is more of a feeling

6. Is this a problem?
Depends: If you rely too much on one over the other, you may have a higher risk of hurting your self-esteem or confidence

7. Competence and Worthiness
Competence of completing tasks (i.e. success) is balanced by your integrity and personal values
Grounded in performance
More of a behavior
Worthiness is grounded in interpersonal values
More of a feeling
Basing your self-esteem and confidence off of both of these will help you have a long lasting, positive sense of self.
For this slide, just reiterate what competence and worthiness are and stress that basing our confidence or self esteem on both is what we are encouraging

9. Activity
Write down a few things you feel you are competent in and care about.

10. Can you have too much self-esteem or confidence?
Being confident does not = being arrogant or full of your self
There is no such thing as “too much”
Would you tell someone they have too much physical health or too strong of an immune system?
Having high self-esteem or confidence does not mean you think you are superior to others  happy with who you are, not about being better than someone else
Confident people do not feel the need to verbally flaunt their accomplishments

12. Activity
Write down three things you like about yourself: Write down three things you don’t like about yourself:
They will write this down on a paper here. We will come back to it later.

13. Behaviors associated with high self-confidence
Behaviors associated with low self-confidence
Doing or saying what you believe to be right, even if other people criticize you for it.
Altering what you do or say based on what other people think or believe.
Allowing yourself to take risks.
Remaining in your comfort zone due to fear of failure.
Admitting when you are wrong, but realizing you are not perfect and everything is a learning experience.
Trying to cover up your mistakes, or excessively apologizing.
Accepting compliments in a graceful manner.
Dismissing compliments and trivializing your skills and achievements.
Self-confidence can show in many different ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, and what you say.
This is a spectrum.
Some more out going opinionated or shy (keep that in mind)
High confident: risk could be taking a dance class even if you’ve never danced before
It is not conceited to accept a compliment!

14. Remember… Self-confidence and self-esteem are not constant
But it is important to practice skills to hopefully maintain a healthy level between the two
In order to maintain a healthy level, like we mentioned you don’t want to base confidence and self-esteem all on competence or all on worthiness

15. How do we improve our self-esteem and self-confidence?

16. Tips for Building Self- confidence
Focus on what you have accomplished as opposed to focusing on what you have not achieved
Think of things you are good at / your strengths
Set specific goals and aim to achieve them
Positive self-talk
Find a hobby
Reflect on your environment
Accept that you are not perfect
Remember: you cannot develop confidence overnight; it is a process and one must actively practice these skills
Is your environment toxic? Are the people you’re surrounding yourself with putting you down?
This can be difficult though:
If it’s a new friend, you could potentially distance yourself.
But if its an old friend, then we need to change our thought process and engage in more positive self talk.

17. Self-confidence and Body Language
Cognitive Dissonance: when we have 2 conflicting or opposing ideas about ourselves
Our mind automatically tries to “protest” this disagreement
Body Language:
If someone who is unconfident forces him or herself to use confident body language, over time he or she will actually start to feel more confident
Nonverbal communication can say a lot
Bullet #2: over time, the mind tries to bring these opposing ideas together to form one coherent idea
Bullet #4: mind will alter the unconfident feelings to become more in line with the confident body language one is using.
Our bodies change our minds
Studies have been done  possible to improve confidence by changing body position

18. Altering our Body Language
Posture
Take up more space
Power Posing
Of course, we’re not implying one should invade someone elses space
Remember: our nonverbal communication govern how we think and feel about ourselves
Posture: standing up straight is associated with confidence while slouching is sometimes associated with submissiveness
Take up more space: when one slouches, it appears that he or she is trying to look less threatening  utilizing more space portrays confidence
Power Posing: chest lifted, head held high, arms either up or propped on the hips

19. Confirmation Bias
“A tendency to search for or interpret information in a way that confirms one’s preconceptions, leading to statistical errors” (Science Daily)
We should try to be aware of this and challenge these thoughts or else we can become stuck in a cycle
Ex. I’m bad at cooking  I cook for my friends and they don’t finish everything on their plate  I think to myself “They obviously didn’t finish the food cause they did not like the taste since I am a bad cook

20. Reframing Thoughts Use milder wording:
Not engaging in all-or-nothing thinking
I am going to fail this test vs. I may not do as well as I would like on this test
Changing your perspective is imperative!
I’m stupid because I failed this test  It was a hard test and I tried my hardest ... or ... Just because I did not do as well as I would have liked does not make me stupid; I know I am smart
I am always messing up  Sometimes I make mistakes, but so does everyone else. There are many times when I do things correctly.

21. Activity Time
Look back at the sheet from the last activity. Try to reframe negative thoughts you have about yourself to make them less harsh.