1. AP Prose Passage Essay Tom Jones
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2. Main Concerns
Thesis
Must answer the prompt
Do not repeat words from prompt
Example of vague thesis that doesn’t answer prompt:
“Fielding shows contrasting personalities in Mr. Allworthy and Mrs. Wilkins in order to characterize them.”
Does not answer the question
Wordy

3. Topic Sentences
Should answer question: “What am I proving in this paragraph?”
Make it complex  should not be a simplistic sentence
Mr. Allworthy is a caring man.
Too obvious of a point to “prove”  No one would argue with this.
Mr. Allworthy’s religion inspires him to care for others.
Yes! My argument is that I INFER his religion is the source of his kindness.

4. Evidence -- VAGUE
Do not just use evidence to support your point; instead use evidence as inspiration for finding complexities!
Tons of fluff, very little content
Fielding uses the phrase “decency” in order to reveal the character of Mrs. Wilkins.
Stop mentioning the author in body paragraphs
Using it as a crutch  go through your essay and cross out phrases with the author’s name, and you will see it’s unnecessary.

5. Evidence -- Simplistic
Mr. Allworthy showed “sentiments of compassion.”
This shows Mr. Allworthy is kind and compassionate.
This is a weak quote because it’s difficult to interpret/infer anything other than he is compassionate/kind (which the quote already says.

6. INSTEAD Use evidence that you can draw inferences from
“A custom which he never broke”
Could explain his devotion to others
Could explain how he focuses on others before himself
Could explain his desire to become pure (like the infant that I would mention in my next piece of evidence)
See how there can be different ways we interpret this line? THAT makes it a strong piece of evidence.

7. Hypotheticals
In analysis essays, you should NOT use hypothetical situations
“If Mr. Allworthy had…” “Maybe Mr. Allworthy was abused as a child...”
Why? You only want to analyze what the piece of literature says. That’s LITERARY ANALYSIS. Don’t analyze what DIDN’T happen.

8. Simplistic Analysis
If you can sum up an idea in one or two adjectives  your evidence is too simplistic.
“This shows Mr. Allworthy is a religious and compassionate man.”
Too simplistic  don’t use adjectives to describe complex topics.
“Mr. Allworthy’s dedication to his faith reveals his desire to become a better, more selfless person.”

9. Overall Ratio of evidence to analysis
CURRENT --- 1:1
GOAL --- 1:2
Analysis remains on surface level
We need to analyze beyond obvious; we must choose more ambiguous quotes
Topic sentences
Do not contain elements of plot.
“The reader” “Fielding uses…” “the author” = fluff  cut from essay

10. Surface-level Analysis
Do you find yourself repeating the same idea over and over?
Do you feel like you’re saying what’s already been said?
Do you feel the urge to add depth, but you are just stuck at the surface?
FEAR NOT…

11. Get below the surface Good analysis starts with close-reading skills
Look for subtle clues in the text
Remember, there’s the OBVIOUS… then the not-so-obvious.
Quotes should be ambiguous  it’s your job to INFER the meaning.

12. Weak embedding
Mr. Allworthy “spends minutes on his knees” which is a “custom he never broke.”
No context
Even weaker
Mrs. Wilkins states, “it stinks.”
Fielding uses the phrase “it stinks.”

13. Embedding Evidence
When you pull a quote from the passage, you embed it into CONTEXT – meaning you explain what’s going on in that scene:
When Mr. Allworthy returns home “fatigued,” he retires to bed and begins to pray as this is “a custom which he never broke” regardless of his state.

14. For each piece of evidence
MAKE SURE you follow each sentence of evidence with two pieces of reasoning (analysis).
You want to ANALYZE that particular action, AND explain how it reveals a quality/belief/trait about the character.
Each quote should reveal a different layer of the character
If the quote reveals the SAME information as the previous quote, you need a different quote.

15. Don’t do this
Mr. Allworthy “feels compassion” as he looks on the infant’s “beauty of innocence.” Revealing that Mr. Allworthy is a caring and compassionate man.
Mr. Allworthy prays “a custom which he never broke” showing that he is deeply religious.

16. Do this
When Mr. Allworthy returns home “fatigued,” he retires to bed and begins to pray as this is “a custom which he never broke” regardless of his state. Although Mr. Allworthy is tired, his dedication to this custom reveals how willing he is to sacrifice his time for others, whether it is his God, his sister, or some other being. By praying every night, Mr. Allworthy chooses to remind himself of his duty to serve the world around him. So when Mr. Allworthy…
Notice how the analysis focuses ONLY on the action in the evidence. No generalizations made that were already stated in the text.

17. ANALYSIS
Should analyze what the quote SPECIFICALLY reveals – no generalizations
Each quote should reveal something new that you have never brought up; if it doesn’t, you need to pull a different quote

18. Topic Sentences Focus on the meaning, not the method.
It is an assertion that you will prove throughout your body paragraph.
Mr. Allworthy is ___(qualities you will prove)___.
NO EVIDENCE NO EVIDENCE

19. The Reader…. Fielding uses
When Mr. Allworthy returns home “fatigued,” he retires to bed and begins to pray as this is “a custom which he never broke” regardless of his state. This shows the reader that he is religious, and coveys to the reader that he is a good man.
Fielding describes Mr. Allworthy as “fatigued” and uses imagery as he goes to bed and “spends time on his knees.”
METHOD should be weaved into your sentence… it shouldn’t be the focus of your sentence.
Focus on the MEANING, and simply reference devices as you describe the meaning.

20. Strengths
Make a list of specific strengths about this paper  what are you doing that’s effective?
Make a list of all positive numbers.

21. Weaknesses Match the odd numbers to the critique
Write down what your main weaknesses are in this paper

22. Next Paper 3 manageable / CLEAR goals
Do not put “write better”  I want to see goals that are SPECIFIC
“Goal #1 – use context when embedding ALL quotes”