1. Presentation by Luke Spellman
The Grieving Process
Presentation by Luke Spellman

2. What is Grief?
In essence it is a series of attitudes and behaviors related to coping with the stressful situation of changing status in a relationship, usually the death of a loved one
Often assumed to be a universal process of linear stages, it must be understood that not all people progress through the stages in the same manner.

3. Robert Kavanaugh’s Theory on Grief
Developed in 1972, Kavanaugh identifies seven behaviors and feelings as part of the coping process:
Shock and Denial
Disorganization
Volatile Emotions
Guilt
Loss and Loneliness
Relief
Reestablishment
“these seven stages do not subscribe to the logic of the head as much as to the irrational tugs of the heart- the logic of need and permission.” –Robert Kavanaugh

4. Shock and Denial
Even when a death is expected, the first reaction for many is something along the lines of “No! This can’t be true!”
Denial provides a temporary safe place for the bereaved, allowing them to work through the different aspects of the loss over time.

5. Disorganization The bereaved feels out of touch with reality
Feeling of being on “autopilot” or “in a daze”
Nothing makes sense
Life has no meaning
Death can be perceived as preferable to life
The death of a loved one can partially or completely destroy one’s social identity

6. Volatile Reactions
Common volatile reactions include terror, hatred, resentment, and jealousy
These emotions are a response to the possibility of one’s social identity or social order being destroyed
Common targets of volatile reactions: God, medical personnel, funeral directors, family members, in-laws, friends, and even the recently deceased
Physical symptoms such as migraine headaches, ulcers, neuropathy, and colitis can develop from living regularly with intense emotions

7. Similar to volatile reactions, but directed inwards instead of outward
Can lead to self-deprecation and depression
Often expressed in statements like “If only I had…”
Guilt can be used to resolve dissonance felt when failing to explain the loss of someone else’s loved one
This can be manifested in blaming the victim, which encourages the feeling of guilt for the bereaved

8. Loss and Loneliness
Occurs over time, as each day without the deceased helps the bereaved recognize how much they needed and depended upon that person.
Social situations where deceased’s presence is expected are fundamentally transformed by their permanent absence
Loss and loneliness often lead to depression when feelings of self-pity occur
These feelings are magnified by memories of loved ones growing “out of focus”
Anybody is better than nobody, isolation only adds pain
The bereaved may look for a “quick fix” like a new pet or a hasty remarriage.
Key to overcoming loneliness is to build a new independence or find a new and equally viable relationship

9. Relief
While many may initially feel confused or guilty over experiencing relief at the loss of a loved one, it is a natural part of the coping process
Relief provides a “safe place” from the pain, loss, and loneliness of grief
The feeling of relief does not imply any criticism for the love we lost. Instead, it is a reflection of our need for ever deeper love, our quest for someone or something always better, our search for the infinite, that best and perfect love religious people name as God.

10. Reestablishment
Reestablishment never occurs all at once. Rather, it is a goal that one realizes has been achieved long after it occurred
In order to achieve reestablishment, all previous behaviors must be experienced fully, though in no set order, and recognized as normal and necessary.

11. Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages
Very similar to Kavanaugh’s seven stages but more widely known
Kubler-Ross’s five stages are:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

12. Four Tasks of Mourning
According to J. William Worden, the grieving process is a more active endeavor than what Kavanaugh suggests in his seven stages. Such grief work must be attended to by the bereaved and can hold serious consequences if not dealt with properly.
Accept the reality of the loss
Experience the pain of grief
Adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing
Reach out and build anew

13. References
Axelrod, J. (2006). The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 17, 2013, from
Leming, M. R., & Dickinson, G. E. (1998). The grieving process. In H. Cox (Ed.), Aging (25th ed., pp ). New York: The McGraw-Hill Company.