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Psalm 128 1Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways.
2You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.
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3Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. 4Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.
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5May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, 6and may you live to see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel.
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HOW SHOULD A HUSBAND LOVE HIS WIFE?
(Ephesians 5:25-33)
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…It was Emerson who wrote, “the whole world loves a story
…It was Emerson who wrote, “the whole world loves a story.” If this is true, and I think it is, then the whole world really loves a love story. The greatest love story of all is the love of God our Father who gave His only Son so that we might have everlasting life. God, not Romeo, is the greatest lover of all time.
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…The Bible tells us that HUSBANDS ought to reflect such a love for their wives. A wife needs to be deeply loved by her husband, and a husband is designed to be her lover.
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…We hear much about love in our day, but what does this love really look like? Paul, in describing what it means to walk with the Lord, unfolds in detail the role of the Christian husband. He is to submit to his wife by loving her.
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A FOURFOLD DESCRIPTION UNFOLDING THE LOVE THAT YOU, AS A HUSBAND, MUST HAVE FOR YOUR WIFE.
…For your primary role to her is not to be the leader, but to be her lover! She will flourish if you love her as such.
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I. You Must Love Her With A Sacrificial Love.
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Your love must not be the domineering kind of love, but one of self-sacrifice.
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Jesus is our example in this
Jesus is our example in this. The Lord Jesus loved the church, and demonstrated this love by giving Himself in death for her.
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…1 John 3:16 “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.”
…A husband’s sacrificial love is described as: not for what she can do for him, but what he can do for her. This is the love of Christ. It is self-denying.
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Remember, love is not a feeling, it is an act of the will
Remember, love is not a feeling, it is an act of the will. Here’s the proof, God commands husbands to love.
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God is calling husbands to a deliberate, voluntary love, not a feeling they have no control over.
Every husband owes his wife love, his commitment to her welfare.
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…For a husband to protest, “I can’t love my wife,” is sheer rebellion against God’s command.
…It is not a question of deserving. Love is not earned. We did not deserve Christ’s love…
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Peter adds (1 Peter 3:7) that a husband’s love for his wife needs to be: considerate, chivalrous, and with sweet communion. (Song of Sol 5:16) “This is my beloved, my friend.”
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II. You Must Love Her With A Purifying Love.
(vv )
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The love husbands are commanded to show their wives is a love that seeks and protects the purity of its object. “love protects”
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Jesus’ love for the church drives Him to make her pure. (v. 26)
He is making her without stain and without flaw. PURE!!!!
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“When a man love his wife, her purity should be his supreme concern
“When a man love his wife, her purity should be his supreme concern.” (MacArthur) No one ever desired to defile a person whom he really loved.
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…A young man who says he loves his fiancée but wants her to have sex with him before marriage is not driven by love at all, it is lust. Love honors and protects the purity of its object.
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…Husbands, don’t do anything that would defile your wives…includes sexual filth, don’t embitter her so that she falls to the temptation of anger, etc. You should be an example of purity…
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…Most of all, men, expose your wife to the Word of God.
Such will cleanse and keep clean…
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III. You Must Love Her With A Caring Love.
(vv )
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You must love her as you already love your own body. (v
You must love her as you already love your own body. (v. 28) What does it mean to love your own body?
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It means to care for it. If it is hungry, you feed it
It means to care for it. If it is hungry, you feed it. If it is thirsty, you give it a drink. If it is sick, you put it in bed, etc.
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Just as you are preoccupied with meeting your own needs, so meet the needs of your wife.
…for you are now “one flesh.” So now her needs are yours. She needs to be cared for.
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IV. You Must Love Her With A Permanent-Enduring Love.
(5:31ff)
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Just as Christ’s love for us is unbreakable, so your love for her must be without end.
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God has designed marriage to involve: “leaving and cleaving.”
“leaving” is an intense verb meaning to leave behind or utterly abandon. This is vital…
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“cleaving” means to be joined together or ‘glued
“cleaving” means to be joined together or ‘glued.’ This new union is supposed to be unbreakable. It is the picture of Christ and His bride, the church.
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Practical Ways For A Husband To Love His Wife
…Dr Eggerichs
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Your wife feels close to you when:
…you hold her hand …you hug her …you are affectionate without sexual intentions …you are with her alone so you can focus on each other and laugh together
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…you do anything that results in togetherness…go for a walk, jog…
…you seek her out…set up a date …you make it a priority to spend time with her …you suggest the unexpected
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Your wife feels you are open with her when:
…when you share your feelings, telling about your day and difficulties …when your face shows you want to talk, good eye contact is a must …when you pray with her
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…when you say, “let’s talk,” asking her what she is feeling, ask for her opinions
…when you give her your full attention…no grunting responses while reading or watching TV
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Your wife feel you’re trying to understand her when:
…when you listen, and don’t try to fix her problems …when you never dismiss her feelings …when you don’t interrupt her when she is telling you how she feels
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…when you apologize and admit you were wrong
…when you pray with her and for her …when you express appreciation for all she does, “Honey, I could never do your job.”
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Your wife will feel at peace with you when:
…when you let her vent her frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off …when you apologize and ask for her forgiveness
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…when you try to keep your relationship up-to-date, resolving the unresolved and never say “forget it” …when you forgive her for any wrongs she confesses …when you never nurse bitterness and always assure her of you love …when you pray with her after a hurtful time
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Your wife will be assured of your loyalty when:
…when you speak highly of her in front of others …when you are involved in things important to her …when you don’t look lustfully at other women
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…when you make her and your marriage a priority
…when you call her and let her know your plans
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Your wife will feel esteemed when:
…when you open the door for her …when you say, “I am so proud of the way you handled that.” …when you try something new with her
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…when you give her encouragement or praise with kindness and enthusiasm
…when you notice something different about her hair or clothes …when you are physically affectionate with her in public
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…when you teach your children to show her and others respect
…when you make her feel first in importance …when you are proud of her and all she does
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