1. “He Said, She Said: Understanding Gender Differences in Communication”
Sue Gillies
BA, BAppSci, MBA
CMGMA, September 15th, 2017

2. Guidelines/Underlying Assumptions

3. Communication Impacts All Aspects of our Businesses
Emotions
Stress Levels
Satisfaction
Efficiency
Quality
Bottom Line
Compliance/Legal
Creativity/Uniqueness
Competition
Reputation/Brand

4. Many Ways to Evaluate Communication….....
Another tool in your tool kit

5. It’s Not That Black and White….
We all have masculine and feminine traits
Where do you sit on the continuum?
Masculine_____________________Feminine

6. A Story!
Insert Video 1
Insert Video 2

7. Equals but not the same! Speaking Listening Body Language
Conflict Resolution
Problem Solving/Decision Making
Work Place Relationships and Needs

8. Why? Brains- Different Wiring Evolution- Cave Men/Women
Socialization- Gender Roles

9. Attributes Masculine Feminine In control/take charge Independent
Focused
Logical
Decisive
Disciplined
Stable
Confident
Hierarchical
Competitive
Nurturing
Interdependent
Receptive
Emotional
Empathetic
Creative
Patient
Vulnerable
Communal
Cooperative

10. Lets dive a little deeper into these differences
Speaking
Listening
Body Language
Conflict Resolution
Problem Solving/Decision Making
Work Place Relationships and Needs

11. Speaking Masculine Feminine Direct/demands Reason for talking
Facts/report
Say what they mean
Sport/war metaphors
Indirect/ask questions
Process out loud
Feelings/rapport
Imply what they mean
Home/relationship metaphors

12. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine: Both-
A direct communication style may be taken personally by the feminine.
Be wary of offering solutions and invalidating feelings.
Avoid interruptions.
Explain your thinking rather than simply jumping to conclusions.
Be considerate of the emotional element.
Feminine:
Be concise, get to the point in a speedier manner.
Use action oriented language.
Avoid offering unsolicited advice and direction.
Masculine reads a question as being insecure.
Be cognizant of the intellectual element.
Both-
Use gender neutral metaphors e.g. weather/nature

13. Listening
Listening Video

14. Listening Masculine Feminine Listen to fix Actions/content
Listen to one thing at a time
Likely to interrupt
View this as an interruption or a lack of attention
Listen to improve
People/feelings
Shift back and forth in listening
Take turns
Participatory listening (finish off other sentences

15. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine: Both:
Show the feminine that you are listening, use eye contact
Avoid interruptions
Feminine:
Understand that interruptions are not always meant to indicate disinterest
Avoid finishing sentences
Both:
Clarify how you would like the other person to listen (fix, improve, just listen)

16. Body Language Masculine Feminine
Eye contact not important
Nod to indicate agreement
45 angle
Commanding physical presence
Eye contact indicates interest
Nod to indicate interest
Face each other
Read body language and pick up non verbal cues

17. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine:
Appreciate that the feminine is more sensitive to on verbal cues
Use eye contact to indicate that you are listening and interested in the conversation
Feminine:
Understand that eye contact is not necessary for the masculine to be listening, and that nodding may be confusing.

18. Conflict and Conflict Resolution
Masculine
Feminine
Argue more and find it interesting to disagree
Just fix the problem
Competing and achieving
Seek agreement and see disagreement as more threatening to relationships
Hash out the details
Harmony and relating

19. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine:
Recognize that confrontation may cause the feminine retreat.
Try to reframe the conflict as more ritual than real
Feminine:
Be aware that the masculine likes to argue. Try not to personalize it
Recognize the value of conflict and allow yourself and others to take a strong position

20. Problem Solving/Decision Making
Problem Solving Video

21. Problem Solving/Decision Making
Masculine
Feminine
Goal oriented/linear
Analytical
One solution at a time
At ease with order, rules
Want to get to work immediately
Decisive/results oriented
More comfortable giving and taking orders
Assertive
Process oriented/holistic
Intuitive
As many options as possible
At ease with fluidity
Tend to ask a lot of questions before beginning
Consultative/ collaborative
More comfortable with giving and taking suggestions
Cooperative

22. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine:
Be open to hearing several ways to solve the same problem.
Allow the feminine to ask questions
Appreciate the benefits of collaboration
Feminine:
Limit solutions, prioritize
Be sure the masculine has adequate information
Appreciate the benefits of making singular decisions
Both
Clarify if you gathering information to seek consensus or to be the ultimate decision maker

23. Exercise: Planning a meeting
Masculine
Feminine

24. Planning a Meeting Masculine Feminine Just the facts
Key topic/purpose
General time
Plan the whole meeting
Agenda
Date/Time/Location
Attendees
Snacks
Potential issues
Bridging the Gaps:
- Appreciate your audience

25. Workplace Relationships and Needs
Masculine
Feminine
Independent
Represent self
Focus on power/rank/status
Internalizes stress/goes into the cave
Respected
Admired
Sense of control over their environment
Interdependent
Represent others
Thrive on relationship building
Talk and explore
Cherished-Appreciated
Valued for what they bring to the conversation/workplace
Safe

26. Putting into Practice Presence/ Awareness Appreciation/
Agility/Practice
Appreciation/
Beliefs/’Shoulds’

27. Above all…..... Focus on the sameness! -the issue, not the person
-what you focus on is what you get

28. Revisit opening story Show video again What went wrong?
What could have been done differently?

29. Practice: Work Place Scenarios
What would each participant need to be aware of in the following interactions?
Female MA explaining a procedure to a male patient
Male doctor listening to a female patient describe her
Female practice manager problem solving with a male doctor
A male MA transitioning a patient to a female MA
Practice Manager speaking to a mixed gender staff
A biller speaking to about finances to a patient
A female practice manager speaking to a male radiology leader
Scenarios if there’s time

30. Fun Gender Communication Quiz

31. Sue Gillies Change, Strategy, Improvement Coaching, Consulting