1. Chapter 8: “Choosing to Marry”
Mrs.Karen Swope
Family and Consumer Sciences
Columbian High School

2. Earliest Marriage Unions
Occurred by capture
A warrior from a neighboring tribe would capture his woman and carry her to his hut.
The custom of carrying the bride over the threshold evolved from this.

3. Arranged Marriages Done by the father to acquire alliances.
Done to acquire wealth and land.
The father no longer wanted the “burden” of caring for his daughter.
Arranged marriages still occur today, in some cultures.

4. Customs Stemming from Arranged Marriages
DOWRY - payment or gifts made by the bride’s family to the groom for taking the girl off the father’s hands. It may be livestock, gold, land.
The modern day “Hope Chest” evolved from the dowry.
BETROTHAL - gifts paid by the groom to the father of the bride. It may be livestock, gold, or land.

5. Marriage Customs Still in Use Today
White dress: virginity
Rice, seeds, petals thrown at the couple: fertility
Wedding shower: “showering” the couple with gifts for their new household.

6. Marriage Customs
Floral bouquets: confuses evil spirits; covers up body odors.

7. Marriage Customs
White linen aisle runner: used to keep the bride’s gown clean

8. Qualities to Bring to a Marriage
Ability to give and receive love
Ability to express empathy
Can accept differences in a partner
Can accept emotions and control them
Can express emotions without hurting another

9. Qualities to Bring to a Marriage cont.
Flexible and can accept change
Being flexible means being willing to compromise.
Being flexible also means being accepting and tolerant of certain personality traits.
Finally, being able to think through decisions and share in joint decision making is an important trait to bring to a marriage.

10. Qualities that Hinder a Marriage Relationship
Being self-centered
Insensitive to partners needs
Rigid, unwilling to change
Cannot communicate feelings openly
Reacts in an emotional or unreasonable way.

11. Evaluating a Relationship
Age at marriage: the link between age and marriage success is related to emotional, mental, and social maturity as well as a couples financial stability.
A person is better prepared to make a lifetime commitment to marriage after the teen years.

12. Evaluating a Relationship cont.
HOMOGAMY: people who have much in common have a more satisfying marriage.
People are attracted to others with similar interests, life goals and values, and similar backgrounds.

13. Complementary Qualities
When a person is attracted to another who is quite different from them.
These differences benefit the relationship.
The strengths of one person compliment the weakness of the other.
Examples?

14. Positive Reasons for Marrying
Mature love
Companionship
Intimacy
Desire to grow together throughout life

15. Negative Reasons for Marrying
Total infatuation with each other
To avoid loneliness
For financial security
To escape family problems
Because all their friends are getting married.
To achieve adult status
Because of pregnancy, trap a partner

16. Summary
There are many marriage customs and traditions still in existence today.
Before marriage couples should consider what qualities are being brought to the marriage.
Homogamous partners tend to experience greater success in a marriage relationship.
There are both positive and negative reasons for marrying.