1. Plan for session What are the difficult conversations?
A systems approach
Understanding-a listening framework
Theories of action
Advocacy / inquiry
A possible plan
Practice

2. Adult concentration at conferences

3. So what are the difficult ones?
What are the difficult conversations you have? What makes them difficult? What about the ones you have in your head?

4. Conflict Competent Schools
Community
School
Culture
Feedback
Principles
Systems
Actions/inactions
Outcomes
( From McKenzie, 2002)

5. four key reference points
Respect for self
Respect for others
Valid information
Internal commitment to decisions

6. Some Greek philosophy of influence
Ethos model trustworthiness
Pathos seek first to understand
Logos then to be understood

7. Ask Seek to obtain information & understanding. Ask the next question.
Engage Be present for the person speaking.. Regulate your own emotions.
Ask Seek to obtain information & understanding. Ask the next question.
Reflect Reflect back what you understand is being said to ensure you have accuracy & to draw out more information. (feelings and facts)
Summarise Give your best attempt to summarise the other’s total situation.
From: Parliamentary Library- Inquiries Process

8. Listening framework S R A E Solution Direct Advise Problem solve Coach
Support
Mentor E
Solution
Issue
Challenge
Problem
Opportunity

9. barriers to constructive listening
Asking too many closed questions.
Blame or judge the other.
Criticising the other person’s way of expressing themselves.
Pointing out flaws in the other person’s argument.
Generalise the other person’s needs or problems.
Use sarcasm.
Making inappropriate assumptions.
Focusing on the logical content and not acknowledging the emotional content.
Joining in the other person’s distress.
Choosing to feel attacked.
Listening for an opportunity to tell my story.
Giving advice / offering solutions.
Distracting, humouring or avoiding the other person’s concerns.

10. A possible plan
Make your own view explicit – Be honest, be clear, be concise, keep the tone level
Say how you arrived at it – Offer evidence if that is useful
Encourage other to explore your view – “do you see any gaps in my reasoning?”
Actively inquire into the other’s views – How do you see it, tell me what you think?
Use the “R” and “S” – reflect, paraphrase, summarise – support them to do the same – “what do you understand from what I have said?”
Look for common ground – make any you see explicit, check if you have got it right – “it seems we both agree that…”
Seek a commitment to action, develop a plan – This will likely involve both of you
Follow up and follow through
From Senge and Robinson

11. So what? What will you commit to next week?
Who will you share this with?