1. Style and Argument in Writing
Edward Santos Garza
Texas State University

2. Clarity + Concision Impress with your clarity, not your vocabulary.
Eloquence the ability to speak or write well and in an effective way* (*
Clarity + Concision
Impress with your clarity, not your vocabulary.

3. Clarity and Joseph Williams
Make the subjects of your sentences the main characters in your “story.”
People > Abstract Nouns (-tion, -ness, -ility, -ism)
Who is committing your verbs?

4. Examples
1.) The senators’ hope was that their reforms would reduce greenhouse emissions. The senators hoped that their reforms would reduce greenhouse emissions. ~ 2.) There was a disagreement between the president and the treasurer regarding the budget. The president and treasurer disagreed regarding the budget.

5. More Examples
governmental intervention → government intervenes legislative distortion → legislature distorts market evolution → market evolves economic development → economy develops senatorial debates → senators debate monetary correlation → money correlates

6. Exercise 1: Choose the clearest sentence, according to Williams’s principle of subjects.
A.) The fear of the mayors was that the governor would reduce their budgets. B.) The mayors feared that the governor would reduce their budgets. C.) There was a fear among the mayors that the governor would reduce their budgets. D.) It was feared among the mayors that the governor would reduce their budgets.

7. B.) The mayors feared that the governor would reduce their budgets.

8. Concision Meaningless Words Redundant Combos virtually basically
practically
actually
given
particular
individual (adj.)
Redundant Combos
full and complete
true and accurate
hopes and desires
each and every
first and foremost
any and all
basic and fundamental

9. Exercise 2: Which word must remain in the following sentence for it (the sentence) to keep its meaning?
Economic success actually depends on certain factors that basically involve education more than any particular regulatory issue. A.) regulatory B.) actually C.) certain D.) particular

10. A.) regulatory

11. Always try to replace a phrase with one word.
Concision, Cont’d
Always try to replace a phrase with one word.
Explain the reason for... → Explain why...
Before anything else,... → First,...
Prior to... → Before...
At this time,... → Now,...
Use X instead of Y. → Replace X with Y.
There is a need for us to... → We must...
In the event that... → If...

12. Exercise 3: Revise the following sentences for concision.
A.) I want to offer an argument concerning the matter of democracy.
B.) Garcia has reported an increase in the number of eligible voters.

13. A. ) I want to offer an argument about democracy. B
A.) I want to offer an argument about democracy. B.) Garcia has reported more voters.

14. Style and Thesis Statements

15. What is a good thesis, and what does it do?
tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion.
is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper.
directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby-Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel.
makes a relatively narrow claim that others might dispute.
is usually a single sentence somewhere in your first paragraph that presents your argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.

16. While, Though, Although, Despite, But
The North and South fought the Civil War for many reasons, some of which were the same and some different. ↓ While Northerners and Southerners both believed they fought against tyranny and oppression, Northerners focused on the oppression of slaves while Southerners defended their right to self-government.

17. While, Though, Although, Despite, But, Cont’d
In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the shore. ↓ Though Twain does not fully dismiss “civilized” life in Huckleberry Finn, he suggests that one must go to nature to find freedom.

18. Exercise 4: Choose the better thesis statement in the pair below
Exercise 4: Choose the better thesis statement in the pair below. Be prepared to explain why you chose it.
A.) The Journal-Standard has shown an identifiable bias in favor of the most conservative candidate for mayor. B.) The newspapers have slanted coverage of the mayoral race in ways that reflect the bias of most journalists.

19. A.) The Journal-Standard has shown an identifiable bias in favor of the most conservative candidate for mayor.

20. Exercise 5: Choose the better thesis statement in the pair below
Exercise 5: Choose the better thesis statement in the pair below. Be prepared to explain why you chose it.
A.) Quentin Tarantino is one of the greatest filmmakers of his generation, and he has demonstrated a gift for resurrecting the careers of former stars he admires, including John Travolta and Pam Grier. B.) Quentin Tarantino has demonstrated a gift for resurrecting the careers of former stars he admires, including John Travolta and Pam Grier.

21. B.) Quentin Tarantino has demonstrated a gift for resurrecting the careers of former stars he admires, including John Travolta and Pam Grier.

22. Works Consulted
Kennedy, X. J., Dorothy M. Kennedy, and Marcia F. Muth. The Bedford Guide for College Writers with Reader. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martins, Print.
“Thesis Statements.” University of North Carolina Writing Center. University of North Carolina– Chapel Hill, 16 Jan Web. 16 Jan < statements/>.
Williams, Joseph M., and Joseph Bizup. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 11th ed. New York, NY: Pearson, Print.