1. Observing and Reflecting Feeling
CHAPTER 7
Observing and Reflecting Feeling

2. Microskills Hierarchy
Reflection of feeling
Encouraging, paraphrasing, and summarizing
Client observation skills
Open and closed questions
Attending behavior
Ethics and multicultural competence

3. Reflection Mirrors essence of helpee’s communication
Includes saying what is expressed both explicitly and implicitly
Incorporates
what helpee says (actual words)
how helpee says them (nonverbal and subvocal like speech tempo, voice pitch, hesitations)
physical aspects (gestures, eye and facial expressions, body posture, movement)

4. Reflecting Feeling Template
Sentence stem (I hear you) using helpee’s name or pronoun you
Name the feeling or feelings
Because (context)
Use here and now not there and then
Check out (a big maybe)
Pat, I hear you saying you feel stuck right not because the job seems overwhelming.

5. Four Emotional Orientations
Sensorimotor – experience feelings rather than naming them or reflecting on them
Concrete – feelings are named
Abstract formal-operational – reflects on emotions
Abstract dialectic/systemic – effective at analyzing emotions and emotions will change with context

6. Expressing and Exploring Mixed Feelings
Look for differences between what helpee says and does
Use words like “confused,” “conflicted,” “upset,” “worried”
Bringing mixed feelings into awareness is first step in allowing helpee to “work through” discrepancies

7. Acknowledging vs. Reflecting
Stating the obvious and then moving on with content
Helpee yawns so you say, “You seem tired.”
Goal is not further exploration of feelings
Stating both the obvious and underlying
Helpee describes something as “no big deal” but has tears so you say “It appears that this is really hurtful.”
Goal is to further explore emotions

8. Diversity Cultural norms may dictate that feelings are private
Men may believe that expression of some feelings is “unmanly.”