2. OVERVIEW

3. The Thriving Parent Marriage / Child Relationship
The most important relationship for learning how to relate to others in all the roles in life is the marriage of one’s parents. Children thrive on the relationship between their parents.
I learned this in my first years as a therapist when I treated many children in their middle childhood (from 5 to 10) who were referred to me by physicians. Being young and inexperienced I was very careful in assessing each child. By the end of the first year I became convinced that the children’s symptoms were in reaction to their family situation.
In my second year I began study and training in family therapy and by the third year I had settled into a pattern:
I would not see the child till I could see the whole family including father (almost all families were intact back then in the early 1970s in Canada where I worked). I would work with the family till the parents trust in me grew enough that I could peel them off and work on the issues that divided them.
In 95 percent of the cases I did not have to do anything with the child … he or she got better “spontaneously”.
When the parents are united the children thrive.

4. The Non-Thriving Marriage / Child Relationship
When parents are in conflict children suffer and don’t grow as well as they should . They do not learn as well. They are more anxious, more depressed, less friend, more aggressive or less cooperative.

7. Annual Rejection Ratio: For Every 100 Children Born
Sources: CDC/ NCHS report series
100.0
90.0
Index of ~
80.0
70.0
60.0
Divorce
50.0
40.0
30.0
20.0
10.0
There are five major institutions in society:
The Family
The Church (Synagogue or Temple)
The School (Grade School, High School, University and Media)
The Government
The Marketplace (The Economy)
In which five major tasks are accomplished:
Begetting and forming the next generation
Dealing with transcendent truths
Learning and teaching
Using physical force (locus of power) for the common good
Taking care of material needs through exchange of goods and services
OWB
0.0
1950
1955
1960
1965
1970
1975
1980
1985
1990
1995
1998
2000

8. “Rejection/Ambivalence Ratio” for Every 100 Children Born70
Children Aborted
Children of Divorce 60
Children born out of Wedlock 50 40 30 20 10
1950
1954
1958
1962
1966
1970
1974
1978
1982
1986
1990
This chart illustrates a Rejection Ratio that includes abortion, for which reliable numbers became available in the late 1960’s. The black bars indicate the abortion ratio. By the year 2000, we can say that for every 100 children conceived, only about 28 reach age 18 living in an intact family with the mother and father who brought them into existence. America has formed for itself a culture of deep rejection. It has become an extraordinarily dangerous place for children: 72 out of every hundred now experience serious rejection: abortion, out of wedlock birth or the divorce of their parents.
Source: National Center for Health Statistics data and Alan Guttmacher Institute data

11. International Rejection Ratio
100 90 U 80 S 70 A 60 50 40 30 20 10
Taiwan
China
Croatia
Japan
Slovakia
Portugal
Georgia
Lithuania
Slovenia
Canada
Finland
France
Denmark
Sweden
Uruguay
Macedonia
Jamaica
New Zealand
Switzerland
Netherlands
United States
El Salvador
Czech Republic
New Calcedonia
Families are the building blocks of our society. When rejection occurs in the family, especially between the parents when they separate or divorce, the mental health of children is affected.
Serbia and Montenegro

13. Number of Non-Marital Sexual Partners
Versus Percent in an Intact Marriage
Source NSFG 1995
Here is the impact --- in the natural order outside of grace --- of monogamy on the stability of marriage.
The first bar is the woman who has never had sexual intercourse outside of marriage (0 partners outside of marriage). 80% of such women in the United States have stable marriages … stay united to their husbands. The rest of the chart tells the rest of the story: the more sexual partners the more likely they are to divorce.
Even having one partner brings the rate of divorce very close to one in two chances (54 %).

14. The More Sexual Partners the More Likely to Abort
Source NSFG 1995 60 52 50 43 39 40 34 31
Percent who have abortions later 30 25 19 20 18 12 10 8 1 2 3 4 5
6-10
11-15
16-20
21+
NUMBER OF NON MARITAL SEXUAL PARTNERS IN LIFETIME

15. Non-Marital Sexual Partners and Out-of-Wedlock Births
Source: CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, National Survey of Family Growth, 1995
60%
55.21%
49.45%
49.99%
49.89%
50%
47.55%
44.02%
42.66%
40.02%
40%
32.89%
Percent of Sexually Active Women Aged with Children
30%
20%
16.29%
10%
1.71% 0%
Virgin at
Had Pre- 1 2 3 4 5
6-10.
11-15.
16-20
21+
The culture is all about how we belong to each other at different levels and in different ways. At the heart of culture is ‘cult’ …the practice of worship of God.
All the following data is from the Federal Government’s own survey.
Time of
Marital Sex
First
with First
Marriage
Husband
Number of Lifetime Voluntary Non-Marital Sexual Partners

16. Non-Marital Sexual Partners And Single Motherhood
Source: CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, National Survey of Family Growth, 1995
60%
56.98%
53.07%
50.30%
50%
48.13%
47.03%
44.16%
38.81%
40%
36.48%
30.21%
Percent of Sexually Active women Aged with Children
30%
20%
10%
7.09%
The culture is all about how we belong to each other at different levels and in different ways. At the heart of culture is ‘cult’ …the practice of worship of God.
All the following data is from the Federal Government’s own survey. 0% 1 2 3 4 5
6-10.
11-15.
16-20
21+
Number of Lifetime Non-Marital Sexual Partners

17. Virginity By Family Structure
Source Add Health, 1996
This chart looks at the rates of teenage virginity by family structure and includes adopted and foster children. Again, we see the same pattern emerging: the more stable belongingness in the family history, the greater the level of virginity. In this chart, we see also the dramatic difference between adopted children and foster care children. Both of these groups of children come from troubled backgrounds but are treated very differently. Children adopted early into intact, married families, are more likely to keep their virginity as illustrated here. Prior to adoption, the parents are screened not only for financial resources but also for the level of belongingness. The adopted infant comes into a family full of a desire to belong to the child. Hence, the great outcomes. By contrast, the foster child more frequently experiences many moves and many experiences of rejection. Hence, the awful outcomes. Adopted children have the highest levels of virginity, and foster children have the lowest. There is a clear correlation between belongingness and rejection and levels of virginity.

18. Father Rated Warm and Loving
Source: National Longitudinal Survey of Adolescent Health Wave 2, 1996
This chart illustrates the significance of teenagers’ judgment that their father is warm, loving and cares for them. The child in an intact, married family is 12 times more likely to experience warmth and love from her father than is a child in the always-single parent family, 7 times more likely than a child of divorced parents, 3 times more likely than a child of cohabiting parents, and 1.5 times more likely than a child in a stepfamily. There are clear implications from this data for levels of virginity in different family structures, as the next chart illustrates.

19. Female Homosexuality

21. OWB

25. % FAMILY STRUCTURE DISTRIBUTION AT FIRST BIRTH (women 15-44) : United States, 2002 (NSFG)
With NSFG data, we can look at formal and informal marital status at pregnancy outcome (and conception). This chart shows information on women’s 1st births:
--- ¾ of 1st births to NH white women occurred within marriage
--- that many (3/4) of 1st births to NH black women were nonmarital
--- among nonmarital 1st births to Hispanic women, about half were within cohabiting unions
Data look very similar for males.
Female respondent file or pregnancy file

26. MARRIAGE

30. Percentage of men years of age who have ever cohabited or are currently cohabiting, by education: United States, 2002
Male file

31. Probability of first marriage for men and women 15-44 years of age, by age : United States, 2002
Female respondent & male files

34. DIVORCE

37. Here is a much later that impact of father on the early virginity of his children. The teenager who has given up her virginity before marriage is likely no longer among those women who are monogamous (one sexual partner for life).
This chart, one of the most important in the social science of the family, shows the impact the lifetime experience of cumulative numbers of sexual partners.
The first bar is the woman who has never had sexual intercourse other than with her husband (0 partners outside of marriage, or monogamy). 80% of such women in the United States have stable marriages … stay united to their husbands. The rest of the chart tells the rest of the story: the more sexual partners the more likely they are to divorce.
Even having one partner brings the rate of divorce very close to one in two chances (54 %). Every teenager needs to know of this impact on their own later marriage life and on the life of their children and grandchildren.
Given this it is no wonder that well functioning societies have very strong taboos around sexual conduct. Such taboos protect children, grandchildren, the stability of society and its human and social capital.

39. ABORTION

40. The More Sexual Partners the More Likely to Abort
Source NSFG 1995 60 52 50 43 39 40 34 31
Percent who have abortions later 30 25 19 20 18 12 10 8 1 2 3 4 5
6-10
11-15
16-20
21+
NUMBER OF NON MARITAL SEXUAL PARTNERS IN LIFETIME

44. ECONOMIC
CONSEQUENCES

49. Children in Poverty, 2000 67 Percent In Poverty 41 39 31 13 1280 67 70 60 50
Percent In Poverty 41 39 40 31 30 20 12 13 10
The issue of belonging, rejection, and indifference, is powerfully illustrated in this chart of the percentage of children in poverty by family structure. Each label on the different family structures is a shorthand history of belonging, rejection, or indifference within the family.
The lowest level of poverty is in the always-intact family (12 percent), where the parents have always belonged to each other and to their children. The real picture is probably even better for many intact families are graduate students whose income is very low but about whom no one is really worried for they are on their way to a middle class income.
The next family structure, the stepfamily, is in a similar situation with 13 percent in poverty. Here, the parents and children belong to each other, but normally in the history of this family there is serious rejection (divorce) for at least one of the parents or rejection originating with an out-of-wedlock birth.
The level of poverty in the divorced, single parent family is much higher at 31 percent. This form of the family is fractured by the parents’ rejection of each other.
The next highest level of poverty is amongst cohabiting parents who are characterized by ambivalence about their future with each other (39 percent).
The separated, single-parent family has a similarly high level of child poverty at 41 percent.
Finally, the always-single mother family has the highest level of child poverty at 67 percent. This is the family structure where the father has never belonged to the mother nor fully to his children.
Data such as this shaped the welfare reform debate of
FIRST MARRIAGE
SECOND(+) MARRIAGE
DIVORCED
COHABITATION
SEPARATED
NEVER MARRIED

50. Source R Rector: Analysis of CPS 2001
Children in Poverty
Unmarried Parents
Same Parents Married
3.17 Million Children
3.93 Million Children
Out of Poverty
In Poverty
Using the Current Population Survey, a major survey of the Bureau of the Census, this chart illustrates the potential impact of marriage on the level of poverty.
The red column on the left represents all the children in poverty in single parent families (the vast majority of children who are in poverty). The blue and red column on the right represents the impact that the marriage of the fathers to their mothers in which both incomes are combined. Were the fathers of children in poverty married to the mothers of their children, 81 percent of tall these children would be lifted out of poverty.
This massive drop is achieved without the impact of the next chart, which, in real life, would have yet another significant impact.
0.75 Million Children
Source R Rector: Analysis of CPS 2001

51. Marriage Premium in Male Income
Source Antovics, K. & Town, R. Am Econ Review V 94, (2004) pp
$127
140
$100
120
100 80
Comparative Income % 60
$27
The earnings capacity of men increases significantly with marriage as this chart illustrates.
This chart illustrates a study that culminates a series of research projects which went about isolating the effect of marriage on men’s earning power. Controlling for all other factors (even genetics --- using monozygotic twin studies) men who are married increase their earning power by 27% in general.
The preceding slide which showed the effect on child poverty of fathers being married to the mothers of their children did not inlcude this effect but used only the earnings of the fathers, not the increased income they would have earned had they decided to marry the mother of their children. Should that have been the case, nearly every child would have been lifted out of poverty. + = 40 20
Average Unmarried Male
Premium
Average Married Male

55. Yearly Income, 2000, Families With Children
Note: Figures do not include transferred income
$60,000
$54,000
$50,000
$50,000
$40,000
$30,000 .
$30,000
$23,000
$20,000
$20,000
$9,100
$9,400
$10,000 $0
First Marriage
Second(+)
Cohabitation
Divorced
Separated
Widowed
Never Married
Marriage

56. Median Net Worth of Families With Children Under 18, 2000
Source: Survey of Consumer Finance, 2001
$140,000
$120,250
$120,000
$105,360
$100,000
$80,000
$60,000
$40,000
$27,800
$20,540
$16,540
$14,850
$20,000
$350 $0
First Marriage
Second(+)
Divorced
Widowed
Cohabitation
Separated
Never Married
Marriage

57. GPA English/Math by Family Structure
Source: Adolescent Health Survey, Wave I. Adolescents grade 7-12.
2.90
2.9
2.80
2.70
2.6
Average GPA Enligsh/Math Combined
2.6
2.6
2.60
2.5
2.5
2.50
2.40
2.30
INTACT
STEP
COHABIT (BOTH
COHABIT (ONE
DIVORCED
NEVER MARRIED
NATURAL)
NATURAL)

58. GPA (English & Math) by Religious Practice
Source: Adolescent Health Survey, Wave I. Adolescents grade 7-12.
2.90
2.9
2.85
2.80
2.8
2.75
2.70
2.7
Average GPA Enligsh/Math Combined
2.65
2.6
2.60
2.55
2.50
2.45
WEEKLY+
MONTHLY+
<MONTHLY
NEVER

59. GPA Who does best in school ?
This is a snap shot of the teenagers of the whole United States. And we are looking at their combined Math and English scores.
College professors and employers take note. Where will your best and brightest come from?
Where is the strong culture?
And it is related to monogamy.

65. BIRTHS

66. Percent distribution of births in the last 5 years to men and women years of age, by wantedness of the child at the time of conception: United States, 2002
Female pregnancy file and Male file

67. FERTILITY

68. Percent of women aged who are childless and percent who have 3 or more children ever born, by education: US, 2002
Percent childless
Percent with 3 or more children
Highest education attained
Female respondent file

69. Percent of males who have ever fathered a child, by age: US, 2002
Male file

70. Impaired fecundity compared with 12 month infertility among married women 15-44: US, 1982-2002
Percent
AC 7/10 – NSFG provides 2 measures of fertility impairment among US women. This chart shows the trend in these 2 measures among married women from Cycles 3 to 6 ( ). One of the measures (impaired fecundity) is used to characterized childless women as voluntarily vs nonvoluntarily childless…
Trend analysis using female respondent files

72. SEXUALITY

73. Percentage of fathers years of age who did the specified activity every day in the last 4 weeks with their children under 5 years old, by whether or not they lived with their children: United States, 2002
Male file

74. TEENAGERS

75. Percent sexually experienced, by age: never-married teens 1995 and 2002
Females
Males
-(females)Among ages only, there was a (significant) decline for females
(males)The percent of teens sexually experienced decreased significantly for all teen males, including younger and older age groups.
Female respondent & Male files

76. Percent of males and females who had their first intercourse before age 20 by how much they wanted it to happen when it did: US, 2002
Percent
Percent
ACASI file

77. Pregnancy rates for teenagers by age: US, 1976-2000
Pregnancies per thousand
149
18-19 years
130
101
15-19 years 85
15-17 years 69
Pregnancy rate for teens began to decline in 1991 and continued through the latest time point available. The previous slide showed a decline in the % of teens sexually experienced, among some subgroups. This is part of the explanation for declining preg rates and is useful for showing which subgroups are at highest risk and what factors are associated with earlier sexual activity and under what circumstances first sex occurs. 54
Trend analysis based on NSFG, natality, and AGI data

78. MORAL NORMS

79. Percentage of men and women years of age who agree or strongly agree with the statement, “It is all right for unmarried 18 year olds / 16 year olds to have sexual relations if they have strong affection for each other”: United States, 2002
Male file and female respondent file

82. CONTRACEPTION

84. Year of first intercourse
Percent of women who used a method of contraception at their first premarital intercourse, by year of first intercourse: US, 2002.
Percent
Year of first intercourse
Female respondent file

85. Current Contraceptive Users by Method
Percent
1995
2002
6/8/06 JA – vote for deleting this one, since we have several here on contraception.
Implant, Patch, Lunelle
Injectable
(Depo)
IUD/
Diaphram
Male
Condom
Calendar Rhythm & NFP
Withdrawal
Other
Female
Sterilization
Male
Sterilization
OC Pill
Female respondent file

86. Percent of women years of age who are currently using a specified method of contraception, by education: US, 2002
Percent
Female Sterilization
Pill
Female respondent file

87. Percent of women who received 1 or more family planning services from a medical care provider in the last 12 months, by age: US, 2002
Percent
Age at Interview
Female respondent file

88. Males who have ever gone to a family planning clinic with a female partner: US, 2002
Percent
Total
15-24 years
15-17
years
18-19
years
20-21
years
22-24
years
Note: Data are for unmarried males who reported ever having sexual intercourse.
Male file

89. Percent of males and females 25-44 years of age who have had each type of sexual contact: US, 2002
ACASI file

94. Strong Society / Economy

95. Belonging: Male + Female
Society At Large
Family
Child / Adult
Father
Mother
There are five major institutions in society:
The Family
The Church (Synagogue or Temple)
The School (Grade School, High School, University and Media)
The Government
The Marketplace (The Economy)
And they are formed first in each parents individual capacity to do the five tasks
Then in the couples capacity to cooperate on the five basic tasks
From whom their children learn and by whom they are formed in the five basic tasks
And thus we get the competent adult citizen --- mainly from the family!

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106. MORAL NORMS