1. How to Raise Children to Become Wise, Responsible, Godly Adults
Training Your Child to Obey
Dealing with Rebellion
Training in Righteousness
Aiming for the Heart

2. “Tools” for Training in Righteousness
Spanking/Consequences
Teaching/Instructing
Rebuking/Correcting
Developmental Activities
Modeling by Personal Example

3. Modeling by Personal Example – Quick Review
Last time we discussed the fact that as human beings, it is our nature to imitate others.
We then saw where the scriptures warn us to avoid imitating bad behavior (which is our natural tendency) and instead to imitate good behavior:
Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good… (3 John 1:11a)
Furthermore we saw that we should follow in the footsteps of the Apostle Paul who not only imitated the good behavior of Christ, but also became a good example for others to follow:
Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. (1 Cor. 11:1)

4. Modeling by Personal Example – Quick Review
We then saw that our children will tend to imitate us as parents starting from an early age and carrying on into adulthood.
…children learn moral values mainly within their families, and mainly by relying on their parents as role models. When families are unstable, when parents are absent, emotionally distant, or preoccupied, or when parents themselves are immoral, the learning of moral values by children is greatly hindered.
(David Popenoe, PhD; Professor of Sociology, Rutgers University)

5. An Example of Good Parental Modeling
John Piper writes in his biography of the famous 19th century missionary John Paton:
The tribute Paton pays to his godly father is worth the price of the Autobiography, even if you don't read anything else. Maybe it's because I have a daughter and four sons, but I wept as I read this section, it filled me with such longing to be a father like this.
There was a small room, the "closet" where his father would go for prayer, as a rule after each meal. The eleven children knew it and they reverenced the spot and learned something profound about God. The impact on John Paton was immense.

6. An Example of Good Parental Modeling
Quoting from the autobiography of John Paton:
Though everything else in religion were by some unthinkable catastrophe to be swept out of memory, were blotted from my understanding, my soul would wander back to those early scenes, and shut itself up once again in that Sanctuary Closet, and, hearing still the echoes of those cries to God, would hurl back all doubt with the victorious appeal, "He walked with God, why may not I?" (p. 8)
How much my father's prayers at this time impressed me I can never explain, nor could any stranger understand. When, on his knees and all of us kneeling around him in Family Worship, he poured out his whole soul with tears for the conversion of the Heathen world to the service of Jesus, and for every personal and domestic need, we all felt as if in the presence of the living Savior, and learned to know and love him as our Divine friend. (p. 21)

7. A Sobering Example of Parental Modeling
John Piper writes in his biography of the famous 19th century writer and pastor J.C. Ryle:
Before his ministry was complete, [Ryle] had loved and buried three wives, Matilde, Jessie, and Henrietta. He had thee sons and two daughters. All the testimonies we have of his children praise their father for his care for them. Whether he did this well, the evidence is too sketchy to know. But what we do know is that he tried.

8. A Sobering Example of Parental Modeling
John Piper writes in his biography of the famous 19th century writer and pastor J.C. Ryle:
While Ryle was an attentive father … none of his sons remained true to his evangelical faith. Reginald became a doctor with no professed Christian faith. Arthur became an artist with no religious inclinations. And Herbert was ordained in the Church of England and eventually became Bishop of Winchester, and Dean of Westminster. Though he became liberal in his theology, there remained a bond of affection between him and his father.

9. Modeling by Personal Example – Summary
First of all, as a parent be intentional about whose parenting style you imitate.
To the extent that your parents were good models, follow their example.
To the extent that your parents had shortcomings in certain areas, seek out other good role models.
Strive to be a good model for your own kids.
Be careful to not to neglect spending time with and being involved in the lives of your kids so that your good modeling can be clearly seen by them.
Finally, pray for your kids to follow the best of what you model, because what they become is ultimately in the hands of our sovereign God.