1. Annita McPhee Strategies

2. Agenda
Welcome Thank you to the Coast Salish People + -Thank you to Canadian Riders Association Professional Association
Our overall goal to today is to learn about Lateral Violence and to address Lateral Violence in our lives, communities and at work.
What is Lateral Violence? What does it mean to you?
Introduction to Lateral Violence – Explain what is Lateral Violence
Provide basic information regarding lateral violence
Lateral Violent behaviours -Understand specific laterally violent behaviours
Why Do we participate in Lateral Violence ? Explore why we engage in lateral violence and where we have learnt such behaviours
Lateral Violence In the Workplace
How Lateral Violence impacts on the Workplace Individuals, Families, community and organisations
Explore how we have been effected by lateral violence personally, within our communities and workplace
How do we recover from Lateral Violence at Work, At home, in Our community?
Taking care of Ourselves – Boundary Settings
Closing Comments

3. Introduction to Lateral Violence
1. What is it? Describe What it Means to You

4. Donald Trump, Is he Laterally Violent?
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1 day ago - The judge who blocked Donald Trump's revised executive order barring travel from six predominantly Muslim nations has said it "targets Islam". Hours before it was due to come into effect, Derrick Watson, a district judge in Hawaii, placed a nationwide block on the President’s .

5. Introduction to Aboriginal Lateral Violence
Lateral violence is a world wide occurrence & profitable business:
Social Media
News
Magazines

6. Introduction to Aboriginal Lateral Violence
What is it?
Lateral violence is a world wide occurrence, this workshop is about how it affects us Aboriginal People.
Different from workplace bullying, Lateral Violence with Aboriginal people differs because we abuse our own people- quite similar to ways we been hurt
Its a cycle of abuse & its roots lie in colonization, intergenerational trauma
And discrimination and racism
It is a Learned behavior and result of colonialism & patriarchal government, institutions & systems that are imposed on us. VERY DIFFERENT THAT JUST BULLYING or WORKPLACE BULLYING (we are going to focus on that too!)

7. Root Causes of Aboriginal Lateral Violence :
“Aboriginal Lateral violence comes from being colonised, invaded.
It comes from being told you are worthless and treated as being worthless for a long period of time. Naturally you don't want to be at the bottom of the pecking order, so you turn on your own”
Governments can (inadvertently or deliberately) create the environment for lateral violence through a lack of recognition and engagement, and by pitting groups against each other. ( Not enough funding for resources such as housing, or proving land title are examples)

8. Root Causes of Lateral Violence :
At the same time, as Indigenous people, WE HAVE SURVIVED:
colonization,
oppression,
intergenerational trauma
racism and discrimination
We HAVE SURVIVED our culture being underground, broke up families, dislocated people from their land and traditions, and imposed assimilation onto children via residential schools,
We HAVE SURVIVED which the legacy of a multigenerational disconnect from culture.

9. Root Causes of Lateral Violence
Growing up
Learned behaviour
Parents
Relatives
Teachers
Friends
Cousins
Authority Figures

10. What are behaviours Linked with Lateral Violence
Lateral Violence can take on a number of toxic behaviours
It is an action that is meant to discourage or make a person feel bad in the workplace.
If you are a target of lateral violence the constant negative behaviors can be similar to harassment and bullying
In its true form, Lateral Violence be conscious, deliberate act of meanness with overall intention to hurt, harm, and induce fear in a co-worker or person
In other forms of Lateral Violence the perpetrator may not even be aware of their meaness or behaviour ( unconscious)

11. Behavioural Signs of Lateral Violence
Non-verbal intimidation (raising eyebrows, making faces, eye rolling) – silent treatment
Tone! Tone of voice is just as important as the words being said
Ridicule of someone – constant criticism,
Sarcasm -Making snide comments and remarks
Blaming
Belittling a person’s opinion
Yelling or swearing
Using putdowns - name-calling
Using social media to make put downs

12. Lateral Violent behaviours - Understanding specific laterally violent behaviours
Behaviour includes:
• Gossiping
I Intimidations – Verbal or non-verbal
• Entitlement – “You owe me!”
• Feuding or Family Feuds
• Shaming
• Putting down others – laughing at people – inappropriate humour
• When violence is directed at our own people
• When oppressed group turn on each other “Crabs in the Bucket Syndrome “
• Outward jealousy and envy of others
• Bloodism (I’m more NDN than you) You don’t belong here, you’re white or urban or rez
“All are learned behaviour and learned behaviour can be changed”

13. Why do people choose to use or engage in Lateral Violence
Why do people choose to use or engage in Lateral Violence? (Causes of Lateral Violence)
• Trauma – grew up in hostile environment, addictions, intergenerational trauma
• Low Self – Esteem, Low Self Worth
• Hard time to Trust Others
• Confused and unhappy with themselves
• Stuck in Cycle of Oppression
• Lack of awareness of behaviour
• Denial – don’t know they are being mean to people (raised that way, trained that way, addictions etc, mental health issues etc)
• Unresolved Anger, Pain and Shame

14. What Lateral Violence Can Look Like

15. Behavioural Signs at Work:
Being purposely unavailable to meet - purposely not responding
Repeated targeting of an individual by another person or group of persons-MOB
Not respecting privacy ( s or conversations)
Using social media to complain about work or people at work
Refusing to work with someone
Backstabbing – acts of sabotage to hurt someone’s reputation –GOSSIP!
Complaining to peers without talking directly to the person

16. How Lateral Violence impacts on Individuals, Families, community and organisations
Communities:
Families become divided
No trust
Difficult to attend gatherings
Low Moral
Mob Mentality
Hard to enjoy events or gatherings
Affects Cultural Events /Gatherings

17. Cost to Organization High Staff Turnover Loss of Corporate History
Low Morale
Decreased Customer Service
Increased Financial Costs
Increased Absenteeism
Lack of Teamwork
Unhealthy competition

18. My Rights
My rights are protected by s. 35 of the constitution nationally and by UNDRIP Internationally to :
My Culture
My Land
My Spirituality
Right to Hunt, Fish, or Gather
Right to express myself, my voice in decision making on things that affect these rights !
What I do not have a right to :
To abuse others or express myself in a disrespectful way to protect these rights. This is lateral violence and it hurts people

19. Addressing Lateral Violence at Work:
All parties need to keep a record of any negative interactions experience, including names of witnesses.
It is important to report facts only. Remove emotion, assumptions, hearsay and judgements.
Talk with a trusted friend, co- worker or counsellor if you feel you are being a target of harassment
Role Model accountability, fair practices, and healthy behavior – CREATE A SAFE WORK ENVIRONMENT!

20. Who Does Lateral Violence Impact the Most
Our Children!!!!
We lead by example and when our children see us yelling, bullying, swearing at people or laughing at them, they may take on these behaviours
They may also become very hurt by seeing their parents hurt or family hurt. This can really affect their self-esteem
Must break this cycle of violence and abuse to teach our children that they can grow up safe from abuse

21. Addressing Lateral Violence- Boundaries
Toxic Behaviour Choice React ACT!
4 Factors Determine our response:
How – we react or act . Are we proactive or reactive? What are the consequences?
When – we discuss
Where – we talk about the issue
Why – are we talking about this ?
**Delicate situation and knowing these factors will determine best response**
++TIP: Am I so upset that I may need to give myself 24?? How do I ground myself?

22. Story of Jenny
Jenny goes on Facebook and sends me a horrible message calling me a fat cow and a big whale What?

23. Setting Boundaries Setting boundaries = self care
Communication styles – Missing a Tea Date with Friend
1. Passive
2. Passive Aggressive
3. Aggressive
4. Assertive = Respect for other person, Respect for self –(When, Where, How, Why we are addressing the person) = setting boundaries for yourself and the other person

24. Ladder of Accountability
1. Denial of Situation
2. Blame Others
3.”If Only” or “ I can’t” excuses
4. Wait and Hope
Accountability
5. Acknowledge
6. Own it.
7. Find/Create Solutions
8. Solutions !

25. How do we recover from Lateral Violence
POWER WITH each other instead of POWER OVER each other .
Prevention! New ways to communicate, act and be in relationships with other
Be Gentle on each other
We can be curious, we can express ourselves, doesn’t necessarily mean we have to be angry while doing it
Many ways to of seeing the same situation…
Explore “What this is” saying “yes and…” i.e. Yes , I love you and this is heavy on my heart – validates & respects each person’s perspective in difficult situation
No Buts! The word but automatically reduces it what came before it! Usually it’s a contradiction …opposite
“You’re really good at cooking but you don’t know how to clean your house!”

26. How do we recover from Lateral Violence
If we remove lateral violence what do we replace it with??
Find your voice -Helping other find theirs too
Self-care
Listening to each other (sometimes hard to do with electronics)
Be present!
Remaining open to those we may perceive as the enemy
Create a supportive network of friends
Focus on Strengths of yourself/people/band
Celebrate successes! Encourage positive changes
We all have the experience of feeling undermined
Need to try to heal ourselves through counselling, treatment, self help programs, our culture
Neutral person for meetings
Set ground rules
Help to stop the lateral violence begins with ourselves 
We can have POWER WITH each other instead of Power OVER

27. Healing from Lateral Violence:
At Work:
Encourage Teamwork, Build Trust and a Safe Environment!
Engaging in cultural activities; dances, singing, if no group start a group
Language – Start a Language Group or join a language class, share words with co- workers
Making traditional food with co-workers
Sewing group – sew traditional regalia with co-workers once a month or every 2 weeks
Restoring our identity and regaining what was lost by practicing our culture is what will heal us from lateral violence or violence.
+Take back our power+

28. Remember a Special Event or Gathering
How did you feel?
Describe the feeling of the gathering?
Can this happen again

29. Addressing Lateral Violence
Change is uncomfortable learning to use “I “statements and asserting ourselves can be difficult at first when we start being assertive
Learn to be uncomfortable –that is how change occurs, if it was easy we would all do this right away. Sometimes its hard to take care of ourselves when we have had our boundaries eroded or not set boundaries in our lives
Depends on our child hood or how we have lived our lives, people pleasing, running or being isolated. All depends on the person
LETS BE BETTER NOT BITTER!
*What kinds of gifts can I bring to the relationship?
Respect, Kindness, Responsibility ++

30. Resources