1. 4 Myths about Office Conflict
Tom Tripp
Professor of Management
Associate Dean for Academic Programs
Carson College of Business

2. Myth 1: It’s about Personality Differences
Instead: Uncover the different preferences
Preferences for:
Different agendas and goals
Communication method:
Tell me now vs. do your research first
Face-to-face vs.
Blunt truth vs. discreet politeness

3. Myth 2: Other person is the jerk: The other person started it, and knows it.
We’re biased to believe this.

4. Biased Punctuation of Feud History

5. Myth 2: Other person is the jerk: The other person started it, and knows it.
Instead Remind Yourself:
Lightning does not fall from a blue sky
There’s three sides to every story, baby: Yours, mine, and the cold, hard truth
- Don Henley

6. Own mistakes and aggression  blame on situation
Myth 3: Other person is the jerk, Part 2: The other person harmed you, on purpose.
Sinister Attribution Error: when harmed, if intent is ambiguous, we assume bad intent
Actor-Observer Bias:   
Whether one is the actor or observer (of an actor) affects where s/he sees the cause of the actor’s action.
In Conflict:
Own mistakes and aggression
 blame on situation
Actors look at the situation
 blame situational factor
Observers look at the actor
 blame person
Each other’s mistakes & aggressions
 blame on other’s personality
or intentions

7. Myth 3: Other person is the jerk, Part 2: The other person harmed you, on purpose.
Instead Remind Yourself:
Hanlon’s Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.
Ask: Why would a competent, caring, rational person
do what that person just did?

8. Myth 4: It’s best to defend yourself in front of the audience who heard the insult
Instead: Turn the conversation…..
Stop
“Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“ The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place,
but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at a tempting moment.”      
— Lady Dorothy Nevil 
2. Listen
“Listen first to understand, then to be understood. “— Steven Covey
3. Think
Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity
Solve
“Focus on the problem, not on the person” — Fisher & Ury