1. An overview through an Approaches to Learning Lens
What is commentary?
An overview through an Approaches to Learning Lens

2. Writing commentary What does it mean? Giving an opinion Interpretation
Insight
Analysis
Explication
Personal reaction
Feelings
Evaluation
Reflection

3. Concrete Detail Concrete details are provable! Examples:
Dana has a remodeled quad area.
Classrooms have high tech smartboard technology.
Dana has a new gymnasiaum.
Dana has a new library.

4. Writing commentary How much is needed?
Two or more points of commentary (CM) for every one point of concrete detail (CD) in a body paragraph.
The ratio is:
CD : CM
1 : 2

5. Challenges Essays are not reports Essays require thinking
Commentary demands extra effort
A student said, “Thinking is hard work Why can’t we do matching and fill-in-the-blanks instead?”
Thinking gets easier with practice

6. Writing commentary There are no “right” answers
There are logical responses
You must think of your own opinion
You must explain and support your opinion

7. Literature commentary
Literature commentary is different from personal commentary
Students may not use: I, me, my, us, would, should, could, may, or might
These words encourage the write to leave the story and become “preachy”

8. Literature commentary
Example from Of Mice and Men
“I hope I have a friend like George some day.” or
“They should have gone on their way to another ranch.”
These types of commentary do not strengthen your writing

9. Literature commentary
“This shows that…”
If you get stuck, start your commentary sentences with “This shows that…”
Example:
In Of Mice and Men, George Milton looks out for Lennie’s welfare. For example, he tells Lennie not to say anything to Curley in the ranchhouse. This shows that he understands how easily Lennie gets into trouble without realizing it. This shows that he wants to keep Lennie out of harm’s way by shielding him from contact with strangers.

10. Personal commentary Working Example:
My bedroom is the place where I like to relax and let go of the day’s worries. For example, I can play any music I want, from my mother’s old Beatles’ tapes to my own Boyz II Men compact discs. This shows that in my room I don’t have to be concerned about the sound bothering other family members. This shows that being able to listen to my songs in the privacy of my own room helps me unwind and take my mind away from daily problems.

11. Literature commentary
“This shows that…”
Use this tool in when shaping your essay and writing your first draft, but you must eliminate the phrase in your final draft.
Example:
In Of Mice and Men, George Milton looks out for Lennie’s welfare. For example, he tells Lennie not to say anything to Curley in the ranchhouse. He understands how easily Lennie gets into trouble without realizing it. He wants to keep Lennie out of harm’s way by shielding him from contact with strangers.

12. Personal commentary Final Draft Example:
My bedroom is the place where I like to relax and let go of the day’s worries. For example, I can play any music I want, from my mother’s old Beatles’ tapes to my own Boyz II Men compact discs. In my room I don’t have to be concerned about the sound bothering other family members. Being able to listen to my songs in the privacy of my own room helps me unwind and take my mind away from daily problems.

13. Literary Commentary
Thesis: Cinderella should not marry the handsome prince.   One reason Cinderella should not marry the handsome prince is that she may become a shallow, spoiled teenager who doesn’t have to work for anything.  Before dancing with the prince, wearing a fancy ball gown, and riding in a golden carriage, Cinderella knew the true value of hard work.  For example, she did laundry, helped the stepsisters get dressed, cooked, and cleaned.  These experiences shape her kind personality which is shown through her interactions with the mice, as well as the way she cheerfully greets her stepsisters and stepmother, even though they don’t return her kindness. In addition, this labor makes her a strong person who has to endure many hardships such as the cruelty of her family and her disappointment when her gown is destroyed.  In a palace, Cinderella would be doted upon. She would have servants to cater to her every whim, and would never have to get her hands dirty again. This lack of discipline could cause Cinderella to lose her strength, both physically and mentally.  Difficult experiences shape personality, and without them, Cinderella won’t be the same person.  Without a doubt, Cinderella should remain single.  

14. Your Turn
Practice: Finish the following paragraph using commentary and concrete details.
One reason Dana is the best middle school in Arcadia is because of our brand new campus. For example, we have a brand new, state of the art gymnasium.
(two pieces of commentary).