1. Relational Dissolution

2. Take Away Points Know the 5 dissolution stages of Knapp’s Model
Know the different stages and their descriptions
Be able to identify which stage a couple is in if I give you a description
Know why four stages (see the model at the beginning of the slides) are termed maintenance stages
What do “tensions” have to do with relational maintenance?
How to break up effectively
2 steps
You DON’T need to memorize the “if your goal is to be civil” slide
From the reading: How is Duck’s model of relationship dissolution similar and different from Knapp’s?

3. Knapp’s Relational Model

4. 6. Differentiating Distinguishing self as an individual
Relational Maintenance Stage
Bonding…………..Differentiating

5. 6. Differentiating
What are things that couples do to maintain their sense of self in a relationship?

6. 7. Circumscribing Couples restrict communication
Issues with trust
Uncertainty about relationship
Lack of self-disclosure
One partner could internalize
Partners may discuss state of relationship (break up or repair)

7. 7. Circumscribing Behaviors Stop expressing intimate feelings
Disagree about attitudes, opinions
Argue about little things
Verbal fighting and
antagonizing other

8. Why are these four stages considered to be relational maintenance?
Dialectical Tensions
Openness vs. Privacy
Autonomy vs. Togetherness
Novelty vs. Predictability

9. 8. Stagnating Expectation of unpleasant talk Behaviors
Spend less time together
Avoid other in public
Talk to friends about impending doom of relationship

10. 8. Stagnating
The book states that “relationships that are based primarily on extrinsic rewards may continue for many months or years at this stage.”
What does this mean? Why is this true?

11. 9. Avoiding Interaction becomes painful
Couples avoid both in public and private
Separate rooms
Don’t talk to each other
Trail separation

12. 10. Terminating Physically and psychologically ending “Break-up talk”
Reasons for break-up
Situation
Relationship quality
????

13. Knapp’s Relational Model

14. Which of these stages are applicable for friendships dissolving?

15. Rawlin’s Friendship Stages
Romantic
Stage
Friendship
Initiating 1
Role-Limited Interaction
Experimenting 2
Friendly Relations
Intensifying 3
Moves toward friendship
Integrating 4
Nascent Friendship
Bonding 5
Stabilized Friendship
Differentiating 6
Waning Friendship
Circumscribing 7
---
Stagnating 8
Avoiding 9
Terminating 10

16. Breaking-Up: Communication Skill
What is the worst way to break up with someone?
Message
Place/situation

17. Breaking-Up Effectively
Based on Burleson (2008)
Determine your goals
What do you want the other person to understand about your current relationship?
What do you want your relationship to be with this person in the future
These should dictate Step 2
Determine your strategy

18. Strategies for Breaking Up
Direct
Explicit
Face-to-face
Indirect
Implicit
Various forms of nonverbal communication, s, texts

19. If your goal is to be civil…
DO talk to your mate face-to-face about how you feel
DO encourage your partner to find a relationship that works and is healthy
DO tell our partner what's bothering you about the relationship
DO be respectful of his or her feelings- be empathetic
DO acknowledge the good times
DON'T rant and rave about how they're not good enough for you or how they ruined the relationship
DON'T ignore your partner until he or she gets the clue
DON'T focus the entire conversation on what went wrong
DON'T break things off over a text message, on the phone, or on facebook
DON'T state that he or she is a terrible relationship partner

20. Break-Up
Seventeen
What would we say to them as communication scholars?

21. Take Away Points Know the 5 dissolution stages of Knapp’s Model
Know the different stages and their descriptions
Be able to identify which stage a couple is in if I give you a description
Know why four stages (see the model at the beginning of the slides) are termed maintenance stages
What do “tensions” have to do with relational maintenance?
How to break up effectively
2 steps
You DON’T need to memorize the “if your goal is to be civil” slide
From the reading: How is Duck’s model of relationship dissolution similar and different from Knapp’s?