1. Building Healthy Peer Relationships
Chapter 6
Building Healthy Peer Relationships

2. Do Now: Read pages 136 – 139 in your textbook.
Do Now: Read pages 136 – 139 in your textbook. Define the word Communication on your note-taking packet.

3. Section 1 – Skills for Healthy Relationships
Communication – the process of sharing information, thoughts or feelings.
2 Types of Communication: Verbal and Non-verbal
Verbal communication – consists of speaking and listening.
Non-Verbal – consists of body language and intonation (tone of voice).
There are 4 skills that contribute to effective communication.
“I” messages
Active listening
Assertiveness
Body Language

4. Avoid passing judgment on what the speaker says.
“I” Messages
An “I” message is a statement that expresses your feelings, but doesn’t blame or judge the other person. By using an “I” message, you open the lines of communication.
For example: You are upset with a friend who forgot to call you after they said they would. You react by saying, “Can’t you remember anything?” This approach could put your friend on the defensive. Instead say something like, “I am upset because we didn’t talk last night.” This opens the lines up for discussion.
“I” Messages
An “I” message is a statement that expresses your feelings, but doesn’t blame or judge the other person. By using an “I” message, you open the lines of communication.
For example: You are upset with a friend who forgot to call you after they said they would. You react by saying, “Can’t you remember anything?” This approach could put your friend on the defensive. Instead say something like, “I am upset because we didn’t talk last night.” This opens the lines up for discussion.
Active Listening
Active listening is focusing your full attention on what the other person is saying and letting that person know you understand and care.
Show your interest by looking at the person, nodding your head, showing concern on your face.
Encourage the speaker to begin speaking by saying “Do you want to talk about….”
Show your interest by offering comments when the speaker pauses such as “Then what happened?..” or “What did you do?”
Avoid passing judgment on what the speaker says.
Show you have been listening by summarizing the speaker’s ideas with phrases such as “it sounds like you were angry when…” or “I heard you say…”
Help the speaker explore things further with phrases such as “tell me more about…”
Do not steer the conversation away from the speaker’s problem and onto a problem of your own.
In your notebook - How would you rate yourself as an active listener? In what ways could you improve.

5. Active Listening
Active listening is focusing your full attention on what the other person is saying and letting that person know you understand and care.
Show your interest by looking at the person, nodding your head, showing concern on your face.
Encourage the speaker to begin speaking by saying “Do you want to talk about….”
Show your interest by offering comments when the speaker pauses such as “Then what happened?..” or “What did you do?”
Avoid passing judgment on what the speaker says.
Show you have been listening by summarizing the speaker’s ideas with phrases such as “it sounds like you were angry when…” or “I heard you say…”
Help the speaker explore things further with phrases such as “tell me more about…”
Do not steer the conversation away from the speaker’s problem and onto a problem of your own.

6. Pairing Activity Activity: Find Someone Who
You are going to find someone in the class who matches the description in the box. Be sure to use active listening and “I” messages to obtain the following information:
1.) The first name and last initial of the person that matches the box.
2.) Find out some specific information pertaining to the box. For example: Has more than 1 pet – Your questions could be, “How many pets do you have?”
Be sure to spell the persons name correctly. Only one person per box. You cannot use the same person more than one time. You may use your name in one box only.

7. In your notebook - How would you rate yourself as an active listener
In your notebook - How would you rate yourself as an active listener? Why did you rate yourself that way? In what ways could you improve.
Why did you rate yourself that way?

8. Refer to the chart on page 138.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is standing up for yourself while expressing your feelings in a way that does not threaten the other person.
For example: speaking confidently and clearly; making eye contact; actively listening to the other person
Refer to the chart on page 138.
Assertive behavior: communicates respect both for yourself and for others.
Passive behavior: shows lack of respect for yourself.
Aggressive behavior: shows lack of respect for others.
*In your notebook: Which term describes your communication style? Explain why?
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is standing up for yourself while expressing your feelings in a way that does not threaten the other person.
For example: speaking confidently and clearly; making eye contact; actively listening to the other person
Refer to the chart on page 138.
Assertive behavior: communicates respect both for yourself and for others.
Passive behavior: shows lack of respect for yourself.
Aggressive behavior: shows lack of respect for others.
*In your notebook: Which term describes your communication style? Explain why?

9. Communication Styles Group Activity

10. Body Language
Body language includes posture, gestures, facial expressions, and body movements.
For example: making eye contact; smiling; slouching

11. Cooperation
Cooperation is working together toward a common goal.
Cooperation builds strong relationships that are based on mutual trust, caring, and responsibility.
To successfully meet the goal, people must work together as a team. Everybody on the team must meet their responsibilities and trust others to meet theirs.
Cooperation
Cooperation is working together toward a common goal.
Cooperation builds strong relationships that are based on mutual trust, caring, and responsibility.
To successfully meet the goal, people must work together as a team. Everybody on the team must meet their responsibilities and trust others to meet theirs.

12. When should you compromise?
Compromise is the willingness of each person to give up something in order to reach an agreement. This requires give and take.
When should you compromise?
When both people are willing to sacrifice something.
When both feel comfortable with the solution reached.
When should you not compromise?
When you are asked to do something dangerous.
When the compromise goes against your values.
Compromise
Compromise is the willingness of each person to give up something in order to reach an agreement. This requires give and take.
When should you compromise?
When both people are willing to sacrifice something.
When both feel comfortable with the solution reached.
When should you not compromise?
When you are asked to do something dangerous.
When the compromise goes against your values.

13. Pass the Ball – over/under Stand up
Cooperative Activity
Human Knots
Pass the Ball – over/under
Stand up
Cooperative Activity
Human Knots
Pass the Ball – over/under
Stand up

14. Section 6-2: Friendships
Friendship: a relationship based on mutual trust, acceptance, and common interests or values.
3 things people look for from friends:
1. Honest reactions
2. Encouragement during bad times
3. Understanding when they make mistakes
Types of Friendships:
Casual Friends – often occur because people go to the same school, live in the same neighborhood, or have some common interests. Offer the chance to have fun, try new things, and learn to get along with a variety of people.
Section 6-2: Friendships
Frienship: a relationship based on mutual trust, acceptance, and common interests or values.
3 things people look for from friends:
1. Honest reactions
2. Encouragement during bad times
3. Understanding when they make mistakes
Types of Frienships:
Casual Friends – often occur because people go to the same school, live in the same neighborhood, or have some common interests. Offer the chance to have fun, try new things, and learn to get along with a variety of people.
Close friends – those who share similar goals, values, or interests.
Friends of the Opposite Sex – these friendships help you feel comfortable with members of the opposite sex and allow you to develop fully as a person.

15. Qualities of a Close Friend
Close friends – those who share similar goals, values, or interests.
Qualities of a Close Friend
Loyalty – a close friend sticks by you in both good times and bad.
Honesty – You can trust a close friend to be truthful, even when the truth is painful.
Empathy – A close friend is caring and sensitive to your feelings.
Reliability – A close friend can always be counted on.
What are other qualities you look for in a close friend?

16. Friends of the Opposite Sex – these friendships help you feel comfortable with members of the opposite sex and allow you to develop fully as a person.
Gender Roles – behaviors and attitudes that are socially accepted as either masculine or feminine.
What are some ways that people learn about traditional masculine and feminine roles?
**Are you comfortable having close friendships with both male and females? Why or why not?

17. Tips for Making Friends Tips for Making Friends
Be yourself; don’t put on an act
Join groups that share your values or offer activities you like
Treat everyone with respect
Take a little time to talk with people you know casually
Ask questions that require more than just a yes or no answer (examples ??)
What other tips would you suggest to make new friends?
Tips for Making Friends
Be yourself; don’t put on an act
Join groups that share your values or offer activities you like
Treat everyone with respect
Take a little time to talk with people you know casually
Ask questions that require more than just a yes or no answer (examples ??)
What other tips would you suggest to make new friends?

18. Problems in Friendships Problems in Friendships
1. Envy – can occur when one person has something that the other person desires. For example: appearance, popularity
**Can you think of other sources of envy?
Jealousy – can occur when a “best” friend wants to develop more close friendships and the first friend feels left out.
Cruelty
Cliques – a narrow, exclusive group of people with similar backgrounds or interests.
Peer pressure – a need to conform to the expectations of friends, can be negative or positive.
Problems in Friendships
1. Envy – can occur when one person has something that the other person desires. For example: appearance, popularity
**Can you think of other sources of envy?
Jealousy – can occur when a “best” friend wants to develop more close friendships and the first friend feels left out.
Cruelty
Cliques – a narrow, exclusive group of people with similar backgrounds or interests.
Peer pressure – a need to conform to the expectations of friends, can be negative or positive.
**What communication skills can you use to discuss these problems?

19. Physical Attraction & Dating Physical Attraction & Dating
4 Things you can learn about a person by dating
1. personality
2. interests
3. abilities
4. Values
Dating Practices:
Going out as a group
Going out as couples (double dating)
Steady Dating
Factors that influence dating practices:
Individuals
Families
Cultures
**Do you think steady dating during high school is a good idea? Why or why not?
Physical Attraction & Dating
4 Things you can learn about a person by dating
1. personality
2. interests
3. abilities
Values
Dating Practices:
Going out as a group
Going out as couples (double dating)
Steady Dating
**Do you think steady dating during high school is a good idea? Why or why not?

20. Violence in Dating Relationships Violence in Dating Relationships
Cycle of Violence – Figure 9 pg. 150 – Write in notes**
Dating Violence: a pattern of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse that occurs in a dating relationship.
Warning Signs of Abuse
Your date is jealous when you talk to others.
Your date makes fun of you in front of others.
Your dates tries to control you and makes all decisions.
Your date has a history of bad relationships.
Your date makes you feel or you feel isolated from friends and family.
You feel less self-confident You worry about saying or doing the right thing. You change how you behave to avoid an argument.
Violence in Dating Relationships
Cycle of Violence – Figure 9 pg. 150
Warning Signs of Abuse
Your date is jealous when you talk to others.
Your date makes fun of you in front of others.
Your dates tries to control you and makes all decisions.
Your date has a history of bad relationships.
Your date makes you feel or you feel isolated from friends and family.
You feel less self-confident You worry about saying or doing the right thing. You change how you behave to avoid an argument.

21. Let someone know where you are going. Avoid alcohol or other drugs.
Tips for Dating Safely
Go out as a group
Let someone know where you are going.
Avoid alcohol or other drugs.
Have money to get home.
Call 911 in an emergency.
Tips for Dating Safely
Go out as a group
Let someone know where you are going.
Avoid alcohol or other drugs.
Have money to get home.
Call 911 in an emergency.
Teen Dating Violence Resources:
Hotlines:
Love is Respect Hotline:
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Internet Resources:
Other resources:
The Clothesline Project
Planned Parenthood Association

22. Dating Violence/Sexual Assault Awareness Poster
Your group is going to create a poster about teen dating violence and/or sexual assault awareness.
Objective: To create awareness and educate others about teen dating violence and sexual assault.
Procedures: Use the chrome books to research information about teen dating violence and sexual assault. Your poster should contain facts, statistics, pictures, help lines, websites, signs of violence, etc. Any information you feel would help educate others and make them aware of dating violence and/or sexual assault.
You could draw pictures or use pictures form the magazines. Be sure to include where to get help hotlines and/or websites for others.
*Make sure all the names, first and last, of group members are on the back of the poster along with the period.
Poster is due at the end of the period on Thursday, April 14th.
Dating Violence/Sexual Assault Awareness Poster
Your group is going to create a poster about teen dating violence and/or sexual assault awareness.
Objective: To create awareness and educate others about teen dating violence and sexual assault.
Procedures: Use the chromebooks to research information about teen dating violence and sexual assault. Your poster should contain facts, statistics, pictures, helplines, websites, signs of violence, etc. Any information you feel would help educate others and make them aware of dating violence and/or sexual assault.
You could draw pictures or use pictures form the magazines. Be sure to include where to get help hotlines and/or websites for others.
*Make sure all the names, first and last, of group members are on the back of the poster along with the period.
Poster is due at the end of the period on Thursday, April 14th.
Poster is due at the end of the period on Thursday, April

23. Teen Dating Violence Resources:
Hotlines:
Love is Respect Hotline:
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Internet Resources:
Other resources:
The Clothesline Project
Planned Parenthood Association

24. Chapter 7
Preventing Violence

25. Violence: the threat of or actual use of physical force against oneself or another person.
Victim: the person who is attacked
Assailant: a person who attacks another person
Costs of Violence
To the Victim: injury , death, emotional scars
To the Assailant: guilt, fear of revenge, criminal charges
To Society: financial costs, emotional costs, fear of violence
**Risk Factors for violence include poverty, family violence, exposure to media violence, weapon availability, drug abuse and gang membership.

26. Violence in Schools
Harassment: unwanted remarks or actions that cause a person emotional or physical harm.
Bullying: the use of threats or physical force to intimidate and control another person.
Cyberbullying: bullying that takes place by , instant messaging, text messaging, or on websites.
Hazing: requiring a person to do degrading, risky, or illegal acts in order to join a group.
Sexual Harassment: any uninvited and unwelcome sexual remark or sexual advance.
Violence in Schools

27. Don’t reward a bully with positive attention. Speak up
5 Ways to Stop Bullying
Don’t make jokes at others’ expense or single out a person for exclusion.
Don’t reward a bully with positive attention.
Speak up
Don’t believe or spread rumors.
Reach out to students who seem isolated.
5 Ways to Stop Bullying
Don’t make jokes at others’ expense or single out a person for exclusion.
Don’t reward a bully with positive attention.
Speak up
Don’t believe or spread rumors.
Reach out to students who seem isolated.
4 Ways to Stop Sexual Harassment
Speak up assertively when you feel disrespected.
Use refusal skils to reject unwanted sexual advances.
Avoid being alone with someone you don’t trust.
Report sexual harassment to an adult.

28. 4 Ways to Stop Sexual Harassment
Speak up assertively when you feel disrespected.
Use refusal skills to reject unwanted sexual advances.
Avoid being alone with someone you don’t trust.
Report sexual harassment to an adult.

29. Prejudice: negative feelings about a group based on stereotypes.
Hate Violence
Hate violence: speech or behavior that is aimed at a person or group based on personal characteristics.
Prejudice: negative feelings about a group based on stereotypes.
Stereotype: an exaggerated belief or overgeneralization about an entire group of people. What are some stereotypes you can think of ?
Intolerance: a lack of acceptance of another person’s opinions, beliefs, or actions.
Discrimination: the unfair treatment of a person or group based on prejudice.
Vandalism: intentionally damaging or destroying another person’s property.
Hate Violence

30. In your groups I want you to discuss the question:
Reducing Intolerance
In your groups I want you to discuss the question:
What do you think leads people to be prejudice, intolerant, discriminatory, etc?
***The most effective way to deal with violence based on hate is through education.***
Reducing Intolerance

31. Address intolerance at school.
Working together develop a creative way to address intolerance at school. Use artwork, a poem, a poster, etc. to display your idea. Your work will be handed in for a Chapter 7 class work grade. Make sure all group members names and period are on the work.
Address intolerance at school.
Working together develop a creative way to address intolerance at school. Use artwork, a poem, a skit, etc. Your work will be handed in for a classwork grade.

32. Chapter 7-3 : How Fights Start There are 4 ways that fights can start:
Arguments – Revenge – Peer Pressure - Control
Two factors that lead to arguments:
Anger
Hurt pride and embarrassment
Revenge – the desire for revenge leads to a dangerous cycle of fighting.
Escalate – grow more intense
Have you ever had a fight to settle an argument? Did the fight settle thing? Why or Why not?
Chapter 7-3 : How Fights Start
Two factors that lead to arguments:
Anger
Hurt pride and embarrassment
Revenge – the desire for revenge leads to a dangerous cycle of fighting.
Escalate – grow more intense
Have you ever had a fight to settle an argument? Did the fight settle thing? Why or Why not?

33. Describe the roles of the following in fights:
Have you even been an instigator in a fight? If so, why did you encourage the other person to fight?
Peer Pressure
-Instigator – person who encourages fighting between others while staying out of the fight themselves.
Roles:
Describe the roles of the following in fights:
Friends – may urge you to fight
Bystanders – may gather hoping to see a fight
Control
What is the main reason for domestic violence and dating violence?
the desire to have control over another
Reasons why a victim may not fight back:
- fear that the violence will escalate
- they believe they deserve to be hit
Others???
Have you even been an instigator in a fight? If so, why did you encourage the other person to fight?
Instigator – person who encourages fighting between others while staying out of the fight themselves.
Roles:
Describe the roles of the following in fights:
Friends
Bystanders
What is the main reason for domestic violence and dating violence?
the desire to have control over another

34. Work together to complete Mediating Conflict worksheet.
Refer to pgs in your textbook.
Work together to complete pg. 177, #’s 1 – 6.

35. 4 approaches to resolving conflicts Choosing Not to Fight
Once you recognize that a conflict exists there are two general approaches you can take. Ignore the conflict or you can confront the person.
Ignoring a Conflict
Five Tips that can help you decide when to ignore a conflict.
You will probably never see the person again.
The person or issue isn’t very important to you.
The conflict is based on rumors that can be overlooked.
The conflict is about something trivial or silly.
A person tries to get you in trouble by provoking a fight.
When Ignoring a Conflict you need to:
Be flexible – your safety should always be your first concern.
Learn to control your anger – you might overreact to a situation
When Ignoring a Conflict you need to:
Be flexible – your safety should always be your first concern.
Learn to control your anger – you might overreact to a situation

36. 3. Confronting A Person Wisely – 3 general steps
1. Choose time and place wisely
2. Stay Calm
3. Negotiate a solution.
Helping Others to Avoid Fights
- You can help prevent fighting through mediation, through your role as a bystander, and by involving an adult.
Mediation – a process for resolving conflicts that involves a neutral third party.
Tips for Mediators:
Listen to people who are hurt.
Help to correct unfair situations.
Praise can be helpful to those involved.
Do not use put downs of any kind.
Strategies bystanders can use to prevent fights:
a. Ignore those people who make negative remarks about other people.
b. Refuse to spread rumors.
c. Do not relay a threat or insult from one person to another.
d. Stay away from any area where you expect a fight could take place.
Helping Others to Avoid Fights
- You can help prevent fighting through mediation, through your role as a bystander, and by involving an adult.
Mediation – a process for resolving conflicts that involves a neutral third party.
Strategies bystanders can use to prevent fights:
a. Ignore those people who make negative remarks about other people.
b. Refuse to spread rumors.
c. Do not relay a threat or insult from one person to another.
d. Stay away from any area where you expect a fight could take place.
Tips for Mediators:
Listen to people who are hurt.
Help to correct unfair situations.
Praise can be helpful to those involved.
Do not use put downs of any kind.