1. New Beginnings

2. PREVIEW QUESTIONS Answer the following True/False questions:
Researchers are increasingly viewing stepfamilies as normal families.
Divorce does not end families.
Shared parenting tends to be the strongest tie holding former spouses together.
Second marriages are significantly happier than first marriages.
Most stepfamilies feel that they have become true families.
Children tend to have greater power in single-parent families than in traditional nuclear families.
Becoming a stepfamily is a process.
Stepmothers generally experience less stress in stepfamilies than stepfathers because stepmothers are able to fulfill themselves by nurturing their stepchildren.
Researchers are increasingly finding that remarried families and intact nuclear families are similar to each other in many important ways.
People who remarry and those who marry for the first time tend to have similar expectations. T T T F T T T F T F

3. FACTS ABOUT FAMILIES:
Two out of three individuals will divorce, remarry or live in a single-parent family or step family during his or her life.
Remarriage is as common as first marriage.
Nearly one-fourth of all families are currently single-parent families.
Over 2.3 million households have stepchildren living with them, and over a third of all children can expect to live in a stepfamily at some time during their childhood.
Instead of seeing single-parent and stepfamilies as “deviant”, researchers are reevaluating them as normal; the focus becomes one of examining if the family is fulfilling its functions.

4. CHARACTERISTICS OF SINGLE PARENT FAMILIES:
Consists of one parent and one or more children.
The fastest growing family form in the United States.
Created by divorce or birth of unmarried women
Usually female headed (87%)
Significance of ethnicity (64% African American,36% Hispanic, 26% white)
Poverty - WHY?
Variety of household arrangements and show great flexibility in child care and housing.
Transitional stage except for older women in their 30’s or 40’s, it has become more of an intentional life style.

5. CHARACTERISTICS OF SUCCESSFUL SINGLE PARENTS:
Acceptance of responsibilities
Parenting is first priority
Consistent, non-punitive discipline
Open Communication
Foster individuality
Need for self nurturing
Dedication to rituals & traditions

6. THIS IS NOT A SECOND MARRIAGE – IT IS A FIRST BLENDED FAMILY MARRIAGE
REMARRIAGE
THIS IS NOT A SECOND MARRIAGE –
IT IS A FIRST BLENDED FAMILY MARRIAGE
Partners must get to know each other in midst of changes.
Different marital expectations.
Often creates a step family.
Marital happiness appears to be about the same as first marriages.
But more likely to divorce than first marriages - WHY?
Most difficult for step-children.
Ex-spouse can be an intruder, source of conflict, handy scapegoat.

7. REMARRIAGE HAPPINESS VS DIVORCE RATES
Marital satisfaction appears to be the same as first marriages.
More likely to divorce especially if children are present.
Remarriage does not receive the same family and kin support as first marriage.
Subject to similar stresses present in first marriage.

8. STEP FAMILIES:
A FAMILY IN WHICH ONE OR BOTH PARTNERS HAVE A CHILD OR CHILDREN FROM AN EARLIER MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP.
Could be the norm soon
Step-parent role is poorly defined

9. DIFFICULTIES AND ADVANTAGES OF STEP FAMILIES
Discuss for each of the following statements:
Potential difficulties
Potential advantages
Almost all members have lost an important primary relationship
One biological parent lives outside the current family
The relationship between a parent and his/her children predates the one with the new partners
Stepparent roles are poorly defined
Many children in stepfamilies are also members of the non-custodial parent’s household
Children have at least one extra pair of grandparents

10. STEPFAMILY DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES
1. Early stage:
Fantasy (expect children to love new parent as much as they do)
Immersion (reality replaces fantasy)
Awareness of feelings
2. Middle stages:
Mobilization (recognize difference, conflict more open, stepparent begins to take a stand and integrate them)
Action (reorganizes itself, creates new norms and family rituals)
3. Later stage:
Contact ( members make intimate contact with each other and stepparent has individually created role)
Resolution (solid family)

11. One Blended Family

12. WHAT WOMEN IN STEPFAMILIES WANT:
To make up to the children for the divorce
Create a happy family
Prove they are not wicked stepmothers
To love their stepchildren instantly
To be loved instantly in return

13. STEP-MOTHERS
Step-mothers have the most challenges (step fathers tend not to be as involved)
Custody disputes
Children with troubled family histories
Must assume role of disciplinarian

14. WHAT MEN IN STEPFAMILIES WANT:
May want to be super dads to their own children
Feel guilt and confusion in their new families
Experience conflict related to discipline and fitting into stepfamily

15. SPECIAL PROBLEMS FOR STEP FAMILIES
Favoritism may exist along kinship lines
Divided loyalty between parents places great stress upon children, may be a sort of competition for attention
Discipline is especially difficult to handle if the child is not one’s biological offspring
Allocating money, goods, and services
All family members do not share the same values
Outsiders have influence on insiders, may not support the new marriage
Roles take time to define

16. PRESSURE POINTS FOR STEP FAMILIES
Money
Time
Decisions
Intimacy
Power/Control

17. STEP FAMILY STRENGTHS Children may gain multiple role models
More flexible
Concerned stepparent
Additional siblings
Additional kin
Improved economic status
Happily married parent

18. STEP FAMILIES ARE CONSIDERED SUCCESSFUL IF BY 3rd YEAR:
Children obey step parent
Siblings get along
Ex-spouse relationship more routine

19. BINUCLEAR FAMILIES
A post-divorce family with children, consisting of the original nuclear family divided into two families, one headed by the mother, the other headed by the father.
The two new families may be either single-parent or step family.

20. Dr. Phil—Blended Families

21. Yours, Mine and Ours