1. Supporting Women’s Voices from Staff Meetings to the Board Room
Let her finish
Supporting Women’s Voices from Staff Meetings to the Board Room

2. Rie Irish @IrishSQL www.riepedia.net
Director of Database Administration
with Paymetric, Inc. in Roswell, GA. 
A single mom & lives with her teenage daughter just outside Atlanta, GA. 
A SQL Server DBA for over 15 years in various industries: financial, pharmaceutical, eDiscovery, online commerce, government contracting and non-profits. 
Helps run SQL Saturday Atlanta each year & is actively involved with the Atlanta MDF User Group. 
Facilitates WIT Panels at SQL Saturdays on a variety of topics from encouraging young women to get involved in tech to helping women deal with interruptions in the boardroom.
Group Co-Leader , SQL PASS Women in Technology VC 

3. Rie Irish RieIrish@gmail.com http://www.riepedia.net/
@IrishSQL @PASS_WIT

4. Encourage. Energize. Empower.
There is no tool for development more effective than the empowerment of women.  – Kofi Annan
Find a mentor.  Be a mentor. Build a strong network of women.
Make friendships with other women working in your field.

5. Girl, Interrupted
Next time you attend a meeting, watch what happens when a woman in the meeting offers her ideas. If your office is like most in America, you’ll notice that women are interrupted much more frequently than men. Some interruptions are intended to be helpful & offer support. Other times, they’re to assert dominance. Regardless of the intent, the result is the same Women are being left out of the conversation.

6. A Guide for interrupting women

7. sPeaking while female
Study in 2015 found that men not only interrupted twice as often as women, they were 3 times as likely to interrupt a woman.
Women almost never interrupt men.
Australian study findings include:
women don’t speak as much without interruption as men.
311 interruptions questioned a speaker's authority and credibility, 213 were directed towards women.
female witnesses were called emotional, unreasonable or words to similar effect 163 times, and 120 of these comments were made by men.  
women were more likely to be punished for their interruptions, than their male peers, by the chair during public hearings.

8. Even when she’s a professional equal
SXSW Gender & Diversity Panel – Google Exec Chair Schmidt repeatedly interrupted U.S. Chief Technology Officer Megan Smith, the sole female panelist on stage with him during the talk. Then, he was reprimanded by an audience member, Judith Williams, who also happened to be Google’s global diversity manager.
Even to women on the Supreme court - Men on the court spent a lot of time interrupting the two youngest female justices, Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor. Sotomayor was interrupted 57 times during arguments, while Kagan got cut off 50 times.  Breyer, Roberts, Kennedy & Alito are interrupted at half that rate.

9. Nevertheless, she persisted
Most recently, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Massachusetts) was officially silenced while reading a letter on the senate floor.  The letter, authored by Coretta Scott King, was read into the Congressional record in 1986 by Ted Kennedy (D-MA).  The 30 year old letter directly addressed the topic at hand, the ability of Jeff Sessions (R-AL) to support the civil rights of all Americans. 
Think it’s an example of politics and not sexism? Four other senators were allowed to read the letter, all or in part just hours after Sen. Mitch McConnell silenced Senator Warren. Do you know what they all have in common?
Tom Udall Jeff Merkley Sherrod Brown Bernie Sanders

10. Why is it even important?
Male executives who speak more often than their peers are rewarded with 10 percent higher ratings of competence. When female executives speak more than their peers, both men and women punished them with 14 percent lower ratings. Reviews = Raises
Studies show that more diverse teams, where all voices are heard, come up with better products and better solutions.
In 2015, a University of Texas study showed that when a woman challenged an existing process & suggested a new one, she was considered to be disloyal. Even when they were told she possessed unique knowledge on the topic, her ideas were discounted. The same did not apply for men.
When women’s voices aren’t heard, they aren’t assigned “stretch projects” that get them noticed, get them promoted and get them assigned to the next big thing. In short, guys get to work on the cool stuff.

11. A No Interruption Policy
YEARS ago, while producing the hit TV series “The Shield,” Glen Mazzara noticed that two young female writers were quiet during story meetings. He pulled them aside and encouraged them to speak up more.
Watch what happens when we do, they replied.
Almost every time they started to speak, they were interrupted or shot down before finishing their pitch. When one had a good idea, a male writer would jump in and run with it before she could complete her thought.
He found a clever way to change the dynamics that were holding those two female employees back. He announced to the writers that he was instituting a no-interruption rule while anyone — male or female — was pitching. It worked, and he later observed that it made the entire team more effective.

12. So they came up with a plan
Women working for the Obama White House complained they weren’t being let into important meetings. When they were, they were ignored.
Once they had a seat at the table, they brought more women into the discussion.
Female staffers adopted a meeting strategy they called “amplification”: When a woman made a key point, other women would repeat it, giving credit to its author. This forced the men in the room to recognize the contribution — and denied them the chance to claim the idea as their own.

13. Let’s solve the proBLEM
Let it go, but follow up with a question instead of disengaging. One way to address the behavior, a bit indirectly, is to simply let the person interrupt, then repeat again exactly what you started saying, in a polite, respectful tone. Add in a hand gesture at the same time. The idea is to every so slightly raise your fingers with your palm facing slightly above parallel to the ground. Lightly touch the interrupter & say that you’d like to finish. Just keep talking.

14. 10 words every woman should learn
“I’m not finished.
“Stop interrupting me.” 
“I just said that.”

15. “Stop interrupting her.” “She just said that.”
But we can’t do it alone, we need allies. 10 words every man should learn.
“She’s not finished. “
“Stop interrupting her.” 
“She just said that.”

16. The way women communicate
Undermining Words – Sorry & Just. Stop apologizing.
Upspeak - a rising intonation at the end of a sentence
Vocal Fry - an unnaturally low, creaky voice

17. Sorry, not sorry

18. So why are we always apologizing?
One theory hold that being perceived as rude is so abhorrent to women that we need to make ourselves less obtrusive before we speak up.
According to a study published in 2010 in the Psychological Science journal, “women have a lower threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior.” As a result, we are more likely to see a need for an apology in everyday situations.
Where did we learn this behavior? Blame your Mom.
It’s not what we’re saying that’s the problem. It’s what we’re NOT saying. Interrupt. Voice your opinion.

19. Upspeak – is it really a problem?
Today is Saturday. Today is Saturday?
The difference in downspeak and upspeak shows up in the implied confidence of the speaker.
Men do it too. Actually, powerful people use it to their advantage.
How the listener interprets upspeak matters most. This is where gender comes into play.
The linguistics of gender– upspeak isn’t very “ladylike”. Bossy people tell you it’s Monday. Non-bossy people tell you it’s Saturday, but don’t want to be pushy about it.

20. Chronic upspeak

21. Vocal fry – is this even a problem?
It’s the low, vibratory sound that comes in some people's speech, particularly at the end of sentences. Think Kim Kardashian.
Is speaking this way a problem? That depends on the age of the listener.
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22. Quotes that make me happy
The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud. -- Coco Chanel
Women have to be active listeners and interrupters - but when you interrupt, you have to know what you are talking about. – Madeleine Albright
It takes years for a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for. - Amy Poehler
Oh I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
She needed a hero. So that’s what she became.

23. References
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blasted-for-repeatedly-interrupting-female-government-official/
agenda/item/7525-men-interrupting-women
content/files_mf/ ManterruptionsBropropriationandManspl aining2YPS.pdf