1. Setting
Context
Setting context for any conversation is of critical importance. Unless I make sure to set context, we could end up in two different conversations.

2. CONTEXT
Container
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3. The RIGHT conversation in the wrong context=
the WRONG conversation
Give examples of the right conversation in the wrong context. (see next slide)

4. Bark
Bach
Barque
Bark of a dog, bark of a tree, Johan Sebastian Bach.

5. 7 Step Process for Setting Context
What do I want for them?
What do I want for me?
What are my opinions, judgments and concerns about them?
What am I feeling about this conversation?
What are they thinking, feeling, seeing about this conversation?
How have I contributed to this situation?
Would you be willing..?
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Go through each step one at a time.
The first step requires significant distinction. The language is particular. The words we are looking for are contextual words, like happiness, peace, fulfillment, joy, self-expression. Things we would all want. Anything less than this would make it our agenda. You need to be able to really connect with your want for this for them. If not, you will not be able to access your heart, and speak from there, and your words will be hollow. This entire conversation is a feelings based conversation. It does not live in the head.
What do I want for me- is about uncovering our own agenda. Often times our agenda is hidden from us, so we need to drill deep to uncover this. Keep asking the question until we are clear what we want. Then we get to choose if it is appropriate to bring to the conversation or not.
My opinions etc-again an opportunity to look at what is going on for me. Some of it may not be true. It is likely to be my own ~stuff~. I need to become aware of how much this is about me. If I have way too much emotion and I can’t give it up, it would not be appropriate for me to have this conversation. I am the one who needs coaching.
What am I feeling about having this conversation- nervous, excited, apprehensive. Declare my feelings, as they are present and need to be tabled. This also allows me to be vulnerable, which makes it safer for the person to speak. We can also speak about my feelings on the issue, problem, or situation. Please refer to the feelings conversation dicsussed in the earlier part of the programme.
Step into their shoes and life and see their world through their eyes. This requires a real willingness to transcend your own righteousness. Utilise the tools from SD.
How have I contributed--look long and hard at this one. You have contributed in one form or another. No exception.
Get each participant to work in triads on these steps, supporting each other. Get one volunteer to use their example for the whole group. Make sure there are lots of questions. The whole process should take 1.5 to 3 hours.

6. Would you be willing to...? Extend an invitation Invite don’t impose
Partnership versus domination
Be persistent
At the end of the 7 step process, demonstrate the setting context conversation for the whole group.
The entire conversation should not take more than 1 minute.
The final question is to ask permission, get willingness.
Through the delivery, I need to be speaking from below the neck. From heart.
Occassionally, the person doesn’t feel safe enough in the first round to agree, so I go back and set more context, create more safetly and ask for willingness again. It may take 3-4 times.
If I do not get willingness, we need to resort to plan B. (could be a conversation for understanding, another conflict resolution model, giving the person space and time to consider, holding the space for them to change their mind, etc.)

7. To download the Free ebook, Speak the Truth, please visit www
To download the Free ebook, Speak the Truth, please visit
For an article on Clean Communication 
For an article on ensuring accountability at work 
How to manage expectations 
Plus many more articles on conscious communication 
To contact Christine, please her at
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Thank you so much for attending. I do hope you have learned how to Speak the Truth with more confidence and ease.