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The New Adolescent & Hurt kids
Chap Clark Professor of Youth, Family and Culture Fuller Theological Seminary
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When is someone an “adult”?
Why I got into this… “The HURT guy” Development and youth ministry… When is someone an “adult”?
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Understanding growing up…
Individuation and the Three Tasks of Adolescence Individuation: The process of becoming a unique person Identity – Who am I? Autonomy – POWER Autonomy – Do I matter? Belonging – Does anybody care?
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Understanding growing up…
The overall process Timing and duration
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Timing and Duration Puberty Culture Pre-1900 14.5 16 1970-1980s 13
18/20 11/12 mid-20s Today
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The overall process Timing and duration Changing Stages
Understanding growing up… The overall process Timing and duration Changing Stages
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Changing Stages 1930s-1990s Independent Dependent Interdependent 14-15
13 18-20 Dependent Interdependent
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Teenage brain “If you think of the teenage brain as a car, today's adolescents acquire an accelerator a long time before they can steer and brake.” - WSJ, What’s wrong with the teenage mind?“ Alison Gopnik, January 28, 2012
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Changing Stages 1990s-2000s Independent Dependent Interdependent 14-15
19-21 12 mid-20s Dependent Interdependent
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Changing Stages Independent Emerging Adulthood Dependent
mid2000-Today Independent 14-15 19-21 12 mid-20s early-30s? Emerging Adulthood J. J. Arnett Dependent Interdependent
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Society’s response to kids
Understanding growing up… The overall process Timing and duration Changing Stages Society’s response to kids
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Kids have been “hurried” (Elkind)
An overview of research on kids: What data shows us… Kids have been “hurried” (Elkind) Adolescence itself has changed Less adult support for kids More stress, pain than ever before
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They are the MOST STRESSED generation in history
How kids have responded to ABANDONMENT They are the MOST STRESSED generation in history
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Kids have been “hurried”
What is it to grow up in today’s world? Kids have been “hurried” “TODAY’S child has become the unwilling, unintended victim of overwhelming stress – the stress borne of rapid, bewildering social change and constantly rising expectations.” - The Hurried Child, David Elkind (1981,1992, 2001, 2006)
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Cultural reality? An exponential loss of Social Capital from those who are necessary in the lives of our kids
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From fragmentation to atomization
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“At the core of social capital is trust.”
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How kids have been treated by adults…
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How kids have responded to ABANDONMENT
The Cost:
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They live out of multiple identities
all How kids have responded to ABANDONMENT They live out of multiple identities
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The “successful” kids learn to adapt
all How kids have responded to ABANDONMENT The “successful” kids learn to adapt
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all How kids have responded to ABANDONMENT Peers and friendships
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What a child needs: 1. Family Influence 2. Healthy Attachment
Response to HURTing Kids What a child needs: 1. Family Influence 2. Healthy Attachment
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What a child needs: Family Influence Family Safety and Stability 14-15
19-21 12 mid-20s Family Safety and Stability
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Paternal Style Attachment
What a child needs: Family Attachment 14-15 19-21 12 mid-20s Hope Communal Attachment Comfort Paternal Style Attachment GentlenessMaternal Style Attachment Family Safety and Stability
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When there are holes in the net…
Childhood Attachment Youth Professional Community Attachment Family Safety and Stability
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When there are holes in the net…
Youth Professional Family Friend Ext Family Childhood Attachment Community Attachment Small Group Teacher/ Coach Family Safety and Stability 5 to 1 Project: A Community for Every Kid
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The Biblical GOAL of Youth Ministry
Adoptive ministry…
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HURT 2.0: Caring for today’s kids:
Changing how we do what we do to Serve and love in today’s culture
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HURT 2.0: What is life like for kids today?
(Overview of the Research) What are their most basic needs? (Overview of Development) What is our response? (Overview of Response)
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Life Today: Basic Needs: Ministry Response: Extended adolescence
To find a safe place to land Ministry Response: Biblical discipleship vs. shaming and manipulation
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Life Today: Basic Needs: Ministry Response: Lack of Social Capital
Supportive adults and systems Ministry Response: Trained (and committed) volunteer leaders
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Life Today: Basic Needs: Ministry Response: Weirdness of adaptation
Empowered to explore life Ministry Response: Provide voice and opportunities
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Life Today: Basic Needs: Ministry Response: Morality? Really… Morals??
Find a moral compass Ministry Response: Recast ethical teaching (Modeling)
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Life Today: Basic Needs: Ministry Response: (Kids) At the Margins
Broader exposure/life experience Ministry Response: Invite to agency in kingdom
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Life Today: Basic Needs: Ministry Response:
The REAL SCOOP on lasting faith Basic Needs: To embrace their own spiritual journey Ministry Response: Move toward adoption as the goal of youth ministry
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