1. Introductions
OSPI Instructional Support Materials for Writing Middle / High School
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

2. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.
Research
“Formulas are always dangerous when applied to creative processes. The result is often form without meaning, ‘correct language’ without power, and rhetoric without audience appeal.”
-Dan Kirby and Tom Liner
Inside Out: Developmental Strategies for Teaching Writing
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

3. What are the purposes of introductions? Why are introductions
important?
Students should discuss the purposes of introductions and their importance. Their ideas should be charted and then compared to the purposes listed on the following slide that are taken from the Introduction Scoring Guide. With some teacher guidance and prompting, the purposes from the students and those from the Scoring Guide will match (although the language may be different).
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

4. Purposes for Introductions
The introduction
grabs the reader’s attention.
clearly implies an organizational structure of the paper.
includes support that is specific and relevant and provides a clear, connected lead-in to a paper’s main idea or thesis.
includes a thesis that is stated or implied.
This slide is taken from the Introduction Scoring Guide. Students should have come up with these purposes during the previous discussion. Point out any purposes that are the same but worded differently. If they have missed something, that purpose should be discussed.
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

5. What are some effective ways to introduce a piece of writing?
Brainstorm possibilities for introductions. If students have trouble getting started, go back to the purposes. Ask, “What might grab the reader’s attention?”
Student answers should be charted. Compare their answers to the following slide that lists strategies from the Introduction Scoring Guide (found in the Document Folder).
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

6. Introduction Strategies
A writer may begin with:
an anecdote or scenario
a quotation or dialogue
a brief history or overview
5 W’s of situation or issue
an interesting fact
a description
a question
taking a stand or making an announcement
a contrasting situation
a combination from this list.
Discuss each of the strategies listed. (This list can be found in the Document Folder titled Intro Strategies.)
Consider focusing on 3-4 strategies at a time, depending on what your students have brainstormed.
This list on this slide is not all-inclusive. Add more strategies throughout the year.
Introduction Strategy Definitions:
an anecdote or scenario – a short narrative or hypothetical situation illustrating the idea/argument
a quotation or dialogue – the exact words of a person or character relevant to the idea/argument
a brief history or overview – background information needed to understand a situation
5 W’s of situation or issue – the who, what, where, when, and why of a situation or issue
an interesting fact – a piece of information that stimulates reader interest
a description – specific details that help a reader create mental images
a question – asking the reader a question to stimulate thinking and involve them in an idea/argument
taking a stand – revealing the writer’s point of view or position
a contrasting situation – presenting opposing sides or opinions of a situation
a combination of the above list - Writers frequently combine strategies to increase impact.
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

7. Ineffective Introductions
I hope you enjoy…
Hi, my name is…
You are going to learn about…
This essay/letter is about…
I am going to tell you about…
There are three reasons…
Students use the above phrases when they don’t know other strategies for writing introductions.
Discuss why the above phrases are ineffective.
Discuss the ineffectiveness of over-used or clichéd phrases.
This list is not all-inclusive, nor a set of rules. This is a set of discussion points. This would make a good chart and can be added to as the year progresses.
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

8. Analyzing Introductions
Does the introduction grab the reader’s attention?
Does the introduction imply or set-up a structure for the essay?
What structure would work?
What introduction strategies did the author use?
Why were they used?
What is the main idea or thesis (either stated or implied)?
Use these guiding questions when analyzing introductions with your students.
You may want to duplicate the questions to use during the discussion. In addition, the Introduction Scoring Guide (found in the Document Folder) might be a useful reference when students are analyzing the writing.
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

9. Middle School Persuasive
Student A
There are so many reasons not to smoke and the crazy thing is that people do it anyway. Cigarettes contain tar, nicotine, and carbon monoxide. Each of these substances is very harmful.
Annotations:
Some attempt to engage the reader (…the crazy thing…)
Implies a formulaic organizational structure
Weak attempt of a brief overview
No support for the thesis
Thesis present
Score of 2
Practice scoring using slides 3-6 (MS) or 7-10 (HS). Naturally, students should have their copies of the Scoring Guides (found in the Document Folder). If you want them to have a copy of this paper to mark on, it can be found in the Document Folder as MS Pers prepost.doc
Show the slide (click only once) and discuss scores FIRST. The annotations can be added and discussed after the class discussion (further clicking will introduce the annotations one by one).
Annotations:
Some attempt to engage the reader (…the crazy thing…)
Implies a formulaic organizational structure
Weak attempt of a brief overview
No support for the thesis
Thesis present
Score of 2
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

10. Middle School Persuasive
Annotations:
No clear attention-getter
Implies a formulaic organizational structure
No introduction strategies
Support not clearly connected to topic
Vague thesis
Score of 2 (low 2)
Hello Ms. C. How are you doing? I just want to tell you what new exercise program or after school program you should add. You will learn more about this new exercise or after school program.
Annotations:
No clear attention-getter
Implies a formulaic organizational structure
No introduction strategies
Support not clearly connected to topic
Vague thesis
Score of 2 (low 2)
(This paper was written by an ELL student.)
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

11. Middle School Persuasive.
Student A
The smooth white surface of a cigarette. As you light it you slowly relax. You feel the day is over. How can you resist? I can.
Just think about all those people you are hurting, the innocent people trying to live a normal life. Then you walk by with a cigarette in your mouth. People stare at you in disgust. You try to ignore it, but all the faces are looking, watching, waiting. You sit by the subway entrance in a huge crowd. The smoke slowly drifts into the smoggy air. You hear coughing, sniffling, whispering. They cover up their noses to get away from the scent.
Annotations:
Grabs reader’s attention.
Implies an organizational structure.
Includes multiple strategies (scenario, taking a stand, contrasting situation).
Adequate choice of support
Thesis/position stated.
Score of 4
Show the slide (click only once) and discuss scores FIRST. The annotations can be added and discussed after the class discussion (further clicking will introduce the annotations one by one).
If you want students to have a copy of the paper to mark on, it can be found in the Document Folder as c
Annotations:
Grabs reader’s attention.
Implies an organizational structure.
Includes multiple strategies.
Scenario (You walk by with a cigarette in your mouth. People stare at you in disgust… )
Taking a stand (How can you resist? I can.)
Contrasting situation - 1st and 2nd paragraphs
Adequate choice of support
Thesis stated.
Score of 4
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

12. High School Persuasive Introduction Example
Post
Phil woke up at six, barely catching the bus to school an hour later. In first period, he fell asleep after staying out until midnight the night before. For Phil, this is a daily occurrence because he stays out with his friends as late as possible. Phil and most high school students from the country are suffering in the day for staying out late at night. This increasing trend has schools willing to concede that starting and ending school two hours later will be a solution to this problem. But will it?
Pre
The rigors of school leave many students sleep-deprived, but is starting and ending school two hours later a real solution? Starting school earlier would have many bad effects that the advantages could never equal. Changing school hours is a bad idea. It would have too many dire results. School hours should not be changed.
Use the annotations to guide students in scoring the pre/post examples.
Annotations:
Pre
No clear attention-getter
Implies a vague organizational structure
Weak attempt to use question strategy. (…a real solution ?)
Redundant support (bad effects…bad idea…dire results…)
Thesis present
Score of 2
Post
Adequately engages reader’s attention
Adequately implies a problem/solution structure
Uses multiple strategies: anecdote and question
Adequate choice of support appropriate for paper’s topic
Score of 3
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

13. Persuasive - Less TV Introduction
Did you boo when Stone Cipher (the head of Boeing) cheated on his wife? Did you cheer when Martha Stewart got sent to jail? Whether you did or didn’t, the facts still were shoved in your face quite rudely. Stone Cipher was fired. Martha was repeatedly ridiculed and lost much of her respect in the business community. Is this because every little thing they do will somehow affect the world? No. Is it because for some strange reason, Stone Cipher cheating on his wife will change how he runs a company? The way the population of the United States looks at famous and important people is ridiculous. We need to pay less attention to their private lives and much more to our own.
Read the model introduction to students and discuss strategies used OR reproduce the slide and have students work in groups to highlight and identify strategies.
In the Less TV introduction:
Question- Did you boo when Stone Cipher (the head of Boeing) cheated on his wife?
Description Stone Cipher (the head of Boeing). . .
Taking a Stand- We need to pay less attention to their private lives and much more to our own.
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

14. Persuasive - Animal Testing Introduction
“Unseen they suffer, unheard they cry, in the loneliness they linger, in the darkness they die,” is a quote from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Each month, millions of animals suffer and die because of the testing of toxic products and weapons on animals. The cruelty of animal testing causes many animals to die horrible, painful deaths, even though they didn’t do anything to deserve this fate. Why do we test products on animals, when we wouldn’t want these products tested on ourselves? There are many reasons why animal testing is wrong and should be stopped.
Read the model introduction to students and discuss strategies used OR reproduce the slide and have students work in groups to highlight and identify strategies.
In the Animal Testing Introduction
History/overview
Quote-”Unseen they suffer. . . they die.”
Interesting Fact- Each month, millions. . . on animals.
Rhetorical Question- Why do we test products on animals, when we wouldn’t want these products tested on ourselves?
Strong Thesis Statement- There are many reasons why animal testing is wrong and should be stopped.
Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.