1. Relationship Behaviors
Things that make or break our relationships!

2. Myth or Reality? I can change him/her All you need is love
Improving communication skills can improve relationships
You can’t depend on other people to make you happy
This relationship failed because I haven’t found the right person yet
I can’t live without him/her
It is normal to get so angry that you hit someone
Guys and Girls have the same relationship needs
You always have to work at a relationship, even if it is healthy one

3. Gender Differences Are there differences?
Does it depend on your culture?
Generalizations
Same sex and opposite sex relationships

4. Gender Differences? For #1 & 2, Write down your answers for BOTH genders!
List at least 4 positives about each gender
List at least 4 negatives about each gender
What traits does your gender look for when developing dating relationships?
What are some things you would like to know about the opposite gender? 
- Ladies: what do you want the guys to know about women?
- Guys: what do you want the ladies to know about men?

5. Important differences that men & women want in relationships
What women want….
Caring and understanding
Respect and devotion
Validation and reassurance
What men want…
Trust and acceptance
Appreciation and admiration
Approval and encouragement

6. Relationship Definitions
Bond or connection between two or more people
List some of your relationships in each category:
Family
Friends
Peers
Platonic relationships
Romantic relationship

7. What is Intimacy? Emotional Physical
A spiritual or emotional connection with someone where you share goals, dreams, fears, hopes (sibling relationships, parent-child, friends)
Physical
A physical connection, usually involving some sort of physical expression between two people (dating relationships, marriages, committed couples)‏

8. How do we improve our relationships?
Practice Assertive Communication Skills
Focus on the problem, not the person!
Accept people for who they are
Remember you can’t “change” anyone
If you can’t, move on
Set a good example
Be the kind of person you’d want to be friends with!
Be patient / Take a TIME OUT
Just because things don’t always go well doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed
Take a TIME OUT if you start getting angry (Don’t make the other person “lose” so you can “win”
Know when it’s time to move on
Sometimes a relationship may never be healthy. Knowing when and how to end a relationship is important!

9. Positive Behaviors Listening- this is key, it builds most of the rest
Trust, Respect & Honesty
Assertive communication
including Fighting FAIRLY, no name calling, holding grudges, etc
Genuine Positive comments
Caring behaviors
Acceptance & Understanding
Laughing & having fun together
Keeping care/friendship/romance “alive”
Share common values

10. Negative Behaviors Jealousy Insults/name calling
Getting angry/losing temper
Threatening (self or partner)
Possessiveness/ Controlling
Being over dependant
Unrealistic expectations
Never pleased with anything you do (“You always are late, you never call me back” etc)
Asks you to do things they are expected to do (chores, homework, etc...)‏
Makes you feel bad about yourself more often than they make you feel good

11. RED FLAGS: Signs of an unhealthy relationship:
Frequent use of anger and guilt
Intimidation / Threats / Embarrassment
Minimize, Deny, Blame
Violence (emotional or physical)
Isolation
Drug and alcohol abuse
Sexual coercion/manipulation

13. Teen Dating Violence Facts
1 in 11 teens reported being in a physically violent relationship last year
1 in 4 report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse
Look at Power & Control Wheel
Causing Pain (video link)

14. What can we do to help? 866.834.4357 (HELP) – 24/7 hotline
Listen to the victim, let them know you care
If comfortable, say something while the behavior is happening, like “That is NOT ok!”
Ask the person being abused if they want help or have sought help
(HELP) – 24/7 hotline

15. Ok or No Way Game?
Can you tell healthy from unhealthy behaviors in a relationship?
Participation in our class discussion will count as your assessment for this unit!

16. Love vs. Lust “We” Centred “Me” Centred Trust & Honesty
Few “bad” fights
Responsible (birth control, STD prevention)‏
Private Intimacy
Accepts the other
Friendship grows continuously
Good Communication
“Me” Centred
Jealousy/Suspicion
Lots of “bad” fights
Irresponsible
Public Intimacy
Tries to change the person
Sexually Based
Poor Communication

18. What is Love? *Essay Assignment*
Reflect your understanding of healthy relationships that you learned in this unit.
What are your personal views on love?
What are all the healthy traits you want in a love relationship?
How will you know it is love?
What are ALL the characteristics you can think of about love?
Minimum of 3 full paragraphs, topic sentence and conclusion required.
*NO credit will be given for using internet sources. This is to be your personal beliefs at this point in your life. You may use quotations as long as you explain your beliefs about those quotes.* See example on next slide.

19. Excellent Student Work: What is Love?
Love is hard to explain. This is the hardest and simplest question I have ever been asked; but probably the most important!
Love is the strongest bond you can have with someone where you know the person so well, maybe even better than yourself. It’s when you care about their happiness more than your own. You give everything you have to that person and they give the same.
Trust, care, honesty, and getting through the good times and the bad is all Love. Love is not wanting to be with anyone else because you already know you found the one that makes you the most happy!
You bring out the best in each other and you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Love stays with you forever, it leaves a stain on your heart that you carry along with you long after.
Love is WORTH THE WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

20. Key Points
It’s easier to maintain a healthy relationship than to fix a broken one.
Healthy relationships make you feel good!
It’s ok to end a negative relationship!
YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WELL in all relationships!