1. Key NLP skills to enhance your professional practice
Brian O’Connell

2. Introduction Mediation Practitioner : M.I.I.
Mind Coach/NLP Master Practitioner : I.A.M.C.
Conflict Management Coach : CINERGY
Trainer/Facilitator Conflict Resolution : I.I.T.D.

3. Objective of Workshop
Outline benefits and application method of integrating key NLP skills into mediation practice
Workshop is a general overview
1 day in depth training to follow in 2018 for those interested

4. Key NLP skills useful in mediation
Creating rapport
Achieving balanced outcomes
Using persuasive language
Challenging limiting beliefs

5. Neuro Linguistic Programming
NLP is a collection of practical techniques, skills and strategies that can lead to real excellence.
Can show you how your mind thinks
And how your behavior can be positively modified and improved.

6. Neuro Linguistic Programming
Modelling of human excellence
- NLP studies found that the best communicators all had a powerful ability to create rapport with other people. They were able to communicate clearly, specifically and persuasively.
NLP skills require rapport in order to be effective

7. 3 Elements to Rapport Mutual attention - tuning into each other
Shared positive feeling
Unconscious response to each others’ movements and gestures

8. Matching to create rapport
Matching means subtly and gradually adapting parts of your communication to be more in line with that of the other person.
You achieve rapport by watching and listening, evaluating their values and matching them
Look for dissonance, congruence and clusters of signals

9. Well Formed Outcomes Positive goal Evidence Context
‘Focus on what you do want – not what you don’t want’
Evidence
‘Have a way of knowing when you have achieved it’
Context
‘Where and when you want/ don’t want to have this outcome’

10. Well Formed Outcomes Achievable Advantages/Disadvantages Ecology check
‘Is this outcome within the influence of the parties involved?’
Advantages/Disadvantages
‘What are the advantages/disadvantages of this outcome’
Ecology check
‘Make sure the destination is worthwhile before you begin’

11. Useful ecological questions
‘Who or what else might be affected if you achieve this goal’
‘How will your life differ when this happens’
‘What would not happen if you achieved this?’
‘In what way is this outcome important to you?’
Is there anything else to bear in mind?’

12. Useful ecological questions
‘How will this fit your life at work/home/club (specify)
‘Does anything stop you from achieving this?’
‘What might be the disadvantages?’
‘Will this make you feel empowered?’
‘Is there any part of you that would object to this outcome?’

13. Exercise (in pairs) Choose an outcome you would like to achieve
Take a turn asking each other a choice of the ecological questions to see if the outcome is worth achieving

14. Negative Pattern client in mediation process
I know there is no solution
And it’s a really bad situation
It’s because the mediation has been dragging on all day that really causes me to have no confidence
Which means it’s hopeless

15. Challenging limiting beliefs
Recovering Information
- Deleted - Distorted Generalised
Questions assumptions
Shifts thinking and behaviour
Useful in many contexts

16. Challenging Limiting Beliefs
I know there is no solution
How do you know?
NO solution ?
What would someone whose advice you trust say to you now ?
What do you want to achieve by holding on to this belief ?

17. Challenging Limiting Beliefs
And it’s a really bad situation
Compared to what ?
What do you mean ?
Isn’t it more important that we look for areas we can build on

18. Challenging Limiting Beliefs
It’s because the mediation has been dragging on all day that really causes me to have no confidence
It’s not about how long it takes. It’s about reaching a lasting agreement.
How do you know when to have no confidence ?
If you keep believing that, what are the consequences ?
How does the length of the mediation cause you to have no confidence ?

19. Challenging Limiting Beliefs
Which means it’s hopeless and we will never reach agreement
How does this mean you will never reach agreement ?
Who says ?
What’s stopping you ?
What would happen if you could ?

20. Challenging Limiting Beliefs
I remember after a very fraught and difficult mediation a couple said that they were so glad they were able to keep going and reach a worthwhile agreement.

21. Recognising patterns of behaviour
Brain sorts through what the body is sensing and experiencing
Filtering process helps guide and direct our thought processes
Results in significant differences in behaviour from person-to-person

22. Recognising patterns of behaviour
Understand other people and their psychological tendencies
Adapt your behaviour and approach while communicating with other people
Develop deeper levels of rapport and influence

23. Recognising patterns of behaviour
Toward or Away
Towards pleasure or away from pain.
External or Internal Frame of Reference
Rate your own performance or feedback from others.
How do you know when you are doing a good job ?
Sorting by Self or Sorting by Others
What’s in it for you or what’s in it for others.
Do you put yourself or others first ?

24. Recognising patterns of behaviour
Matcher or Mis-matcher
See what’s the same or see what’s different.
Do you collaborate or do you look for inconsistencies ?
Convincer Strategy
What it takes to convince someone of something.
How do you know when to purchase something ?
- automatic, number of times, period of time, sensory.

25. Recognising patterns of behaviour
Possibility vs. Necessity
Focus on just what you need or look to expand your opportunities and possibilities.
Why are you choosing to do what you are doing ?
Independent, Co-operative and Proximity Working Styles
Do you work best independently, as part of a group or somewhere in between ?

26. Exercise As a mediator : –
Which are the top 3 patterns from this list which would be useful to recognise in your clients ?
Discuss in pairs

27. Questions ?