1. Mastering the Expository Essay
Michelle Wheeler
Ryan Calhoun
Justin Tims

2. Paragraph Structure

3. Paragraph Structure – A Starting Point (p. 3)
Section 1: Topic Sentence (TS) [1 sentence] Section 2: Concrete Detail/Embedded Quote (CD) / (EQ) [2-3 sentences] Section 3: Commentary (CM) [2-4 sentences] Total Sentence Count: [5-8 sentences]

4. Paragraph Structure – A Starting Point (p. 3)
Section 1: Topic Sentence (TS) [1 sentence]
answers the question or addresses the prompt

5. Paragraph Structure – A Starting Point (p. 3)
Section 2: Concrete Detail/Embedded Quote (CD) / (EQ) [2-3 sentences]
provides evidence to support the topic sentence

6. Paragraph Structure – A Starting Point (p. 3)
Section 3: Commentary (CM) [2-4 sentences]
explains how the contents of the quotation or concrete detail support the topic sentence

7. Paragraph Structure – Dissecting a Short Answer (p. 5)
Instructions: Color code and label the topic sentence (TS), concrete detail (CD), and commentary (CM).
Context: The following question is based on “The Most Dangerous Game” by Richard Connell, a short story about a big game hunter named Rainsford who falls off a boat on his way to the Amazon and swims to a nearby island where he meets General Zaroff who hunts human beings for sport.
The word amoral means having none of the moral values or scruples that civilized people share. Is General Zaroff an amoral person? Explain and support your answer with evidence from the story.

8. Paragraph Structure – Dissecting a Short Answer (p. 5)
General Zaroff is an amoral person because he exhibits a warped sense of what is right and what is wrong. This is evident when he states that “life is for the strong, to be lived by the strong, and, if needs be, taken by the strong. The weak of the world were put here to give the strong pleasure” (70). Most civilized human beings believe that each person is entitled to certain rights and respect, but Zaroff does not share these same values. The fact that he derives pleasure from what most would consider murder indicates that he is a deeply troubled individual without a sense of societal norms. Not only does Zaroff believe he is above the rules of society, but the fact that he takes joy in breaking these rules depicts him as truly amoral person.

9. Paragraph Structure – Dissecting a Short Answer (p. 5)
General Zaroff is an amoral person because he exhibits a warped sense of what is right and what is wrong. This is evident when he states that “life is for the strong, to be lived by the strong, and, if needs be, taken by the strong. The weak of the world were put here to give the strong pleasure” (70). Most civilized human beings believe that each person is entitled to certain rights and respect, but Zaroff does not share these same values. The fact that he derives pleasure from what most would consider murder indicates that he is a deeply troubled individual without a sense of societal norms. Not only does Zaroff believe he is above the rules of society, but the fact that he takes joy in breaking these rules depicts him as truly amoral person.

10. Short Answer Responses – Quick, Effective Student Practice
The Plan: Students and teachers will get the most value out of repeatedly practicing how to answer short answer responses early in the year before tackling the expository essay; however, students must know how a SAR is going to be scored. Students must understand the rubric prior to ever actually writing a response.

11. Short Answer Scoring

12. Short Answer Responses – (p. 4) Scoring Guide (Score Point 0)
Score Point 0 — Insufficient Response to the Question Insufficient responses indicate a very limited reading performance. These responses have one of the following problems.  The idea is not an answer to the question asked.  The idea is incorrect because it is not based on the text.  The idea is too general, vague, or unclear to determine whether it is reasonable.  No idea is present. Sometimes the response contains only text evidence. At other times there appears to be an idea; however, this idea cannot be considered an answer to the question because it merely repeats verbatim, or “echoes,” the text evidence.

13. Short Answer Responses – (p. 4) Scoring Guide (Score Point 1)
Score Point 1 — Partially Sufficient Response to the Question
Partially sufficient responses indicate a basic reading performance.
These responses have one of the following characteristics.
 The idea is reasonable, but the response contains no text evidence.
 The idea is reasonable, but the text evidence is flawed and does not
adequately support the idea. Text evidence is considered inadequate when it is
o only a general reference to the text,
o too partial to support the idea,
o weakly linked to the idea, or
o used inappropriately because it wrongly manipulates the meaning of the text.
 The idea needs more explanation or specificity even though it is supported
with text evidence.
 The idea represents only a literal reading of the text, with or without text
evidence.

14. Short Answer Responses – (p. 4) Scoring Guide (Score Point 2)
Score Point 2 — Sufficient Response to the Question Sufficient responses indicate a satisfactory reading performance. These responses have the following characteristics.  The idea is reasonable and goes beyond a literal reading of the text. It is explained specifically enough to show that the student can make appropriate connections across the text and draw valid conclusions.  The text evidence used to support the idea is accurate and relevant.  The idea and text evidence used to support it are clearly linked.  The combination of the idea and the text evidence demonstrates a good understanding of the text.

15. Short Answer Responses – (p. 4) Scoring Guide (Score Point 3)
Score Point 3 — Exemplary Response to the Question Exemplary responses indicate an accomplished reading performance. These responses have the following characteristics.  The idea is perceptive and reflects an awareness of the complexities of the text. The student is able to develop a coherent explanation of the idea by making discerning connections across the text.  The text evidence used to support the idea is specific and well chosen. Overall, the evidence strongly supports the validity of the idea.  The combination of the idea and the text evidence demonstrates a deep understanding of the text.

16. Short Answer Responses – (p. 5-13) The Scoring Guide (Simplified)

17. Analyzing Student Responses – Analysis Activity (p. 5-8)
With the people at your table, walk to the specified short answer response hanging on the wall.
Using the simplified rubric, score the student responses appropriately. Mark all boxes that apply to each response.

18. Short Answer Scoring Activity
Expository Essay Scoring Activity
Short Answer A 2
Short Answer B 3
Short Answer C 1
Short Answer D
Short Answer E
Short Answer F
Short Answer G
Short Answer H
Short Answer I

19. Classroom Implementation and Differentiation

20. Classroom Implementation – How does this work for me?
Short Stories
“The Most Dangerous Game”
“The Scarlet Ibis”
Poetry
“Theme for English B”
“Incident in a Rose Garden”
Novels
Of Mice and Men
Plays
A Raisin in the Sun

21. Classroom Differentiation – (p. 9-12) How does this work for my kids?
The Plan:
Not all students are going to be able to nail this with grade-level texts. The students in our classes vary from low-functioning to high-performing, so if there is a need for some quick remediation, turn to page 9 to see an activity that could be easily implemented in any classroom.

22. Classroom Differentiation – (p. 9-12) How does this work for my kids?
The Plan:
By using children’s books, there should be no shortfalls in simply understanding the text. By being able to access the text, all students can access the activity of writing a short answer response.

23. In Summation – Simple Paragraph Structure
Section 1: Topic Sentence (TS) [1 sentence] Section 2: Concrete Detail/Embedded Quote (CD) / (EQ) [2-3 sentences] Section 3: Commentary (CM) [2-4 sentences] Total Sentence Count: [5-8 sentences]

24. In Summation – Simple Paragraph Structure
Timing: For the entirety of the first grading period, the English I team focuses on having students craft short answer responses and understand that writing is an organic, recursive process that must occur more than once for mastery. Students must have an understanding that paragraphs are more than just words or sentences, but that paragraphs can present one’s understanding of a subject or a logical explanation of ideas.

25. Expository Essay Structure

26. Expository Essay Structure – It takes more than one… (p. 14)
Paragraph 1
Thesis (T) [1 sentence] Section 1: Topic Sentence (TS) [1 sentence] Section 2: Concrete Detail (CD) [2-3 sentences] Section 3: Commentary (CM) [3-4 sentences] Concluding Sentence(s) (CS) [1-2 sentences]
Paragraph 2
Paragraph 3
Paragraph 4
Total Sentence Count: 14 – 18 Sentences

27. Short Answer vs. Expository (p. 14)

28. Analyzing a Student Essay – Analysis Activity (p. 15)
Read the student essay and highlight for paragraph structure. Highlight the thesis, topic sentences, concrete details, commentary, and concluding sentence if the element is present.
Keep in mind that this is NOT a scoring exercise. That portion will come later.

29. Expository Scoring and Rubric Analysis

30. The Expository Essay Rubric – Understanding the Matrix (p. 16-19)
The Plan: Students will be much more successful in writing the expository essay if they know how they will be scored. Discussing the rubric with the kids is essential to their success. As it stands, the rubric can be pretty daunting for any teacher, new or old, who is not that familiar with it.

31. The Expository Essay Rubric (p. 16-17)

32. Rubric Analysis Activity (p. 16-18)
Read each thread of each strand. Pull the most important words and phrases as they apply to the expository essay.
Record the findings on the blank rubric provided.
Discuss and highlight with the teachers at the table how these items change as the rubric progresses from low to high.
Preview the example on the next slide. The first thread of the first strand is the material being analyzed.

33. Understanding the Rubric
Analyze each strand and extrapolate meaning from each thread.

34. The Expository Essay Rubric – Simplified for Students (p. 19)
Only if needed:
Briefly discuss:
Focus on this:
And this:

35. Pass/Fail Flow Chart – A Student-Friendly Tool (p. 20)
The Plan: This tool is something that students can use to monitor their progress while writing an expository essay.

36. Analyzing Student Essays – Analysis Activity (p. 21-23)
Read the student essay and highlight for paragraph structure. Highlight the thesis, topic sentences, concrete details, commentary, and concluding sentence if the element is present.
Using the modified rubric, score each essay appropriately.
On page 23, write a brief justification for each score.
Remember: This is holistic grading, not numerical grading that goes from 0 to 100. Just assign a 1 to a 4 and call it a day.

37. Expository Essay Scoring Activity
Essay A 4
Essay B 2
Essay C
Essay D 3
Essay E
Essay F
Essay G 1

38. Writing the Essay

39. Deconstructing the Prompt (p. 24)
Read the Prompt and Directions from Start-to-Finish
Draw an X on the Information or Statement in the Box
Read “The Actual Prompt”
Analyze the Prompt for the Task

40. Writing an Organic Thesis (p. 25)
A THESIS STATEMENT is a one-sentence statement that expresses the central claim or argument that you seek to prove in an essay. It typically falls at the end of the introductory paragraph.
The thesis should contain two parts –
(1) a statement that explains what the essay is trying to prove
(2) an outline of the main topics/ideas discussed in the essay
A strong thesis is specific and focused.
A strong thesis states a point without discussing everything about it (no examples).
NEVER use “I think,” “I believe,” “I will prove,” or any “I” (first-person) statement within your thesis.

41. Writing an Organic Thesis - Student/Teacher Practice (p. 27)
Friendship and companionship are important parts of many people’s lives. On the other hand, some people prefer to be “loners” who mostly keep to themselves.
Think about isolation and how it can be harmful or beneficial to people’s lives.
Write an essay explaining the effects of isolation.

42. Practice: Thesis, Topic Sentence, Concrete Details, Commentary (p
There are documents related to each specific portion of the expository essay.
Each of these activities will be covered briefly with specific emphasis on intricacies of each element.

43. Practice: Thesis (p. 28)
After doing an example thesis together, we are going to skip this activity.
The activity on page 28 can be used in the classroom if you see that it is applicable.

44. Practice: Topic Sentences (p. 29)
Topic sentences are a derivative of a well-crafted thesis.
The activity on page 29 can be used in the classroom if you see that it is applicable.

45. Practice: Concrete Details (p. 30)
For the purpose of your expository essay concrete details can take the form of:
personal anecdotes
references to historical events or people
examples from the news
events from the plots of books or movies
The concrete detail must:
be related to the topic sentence/thesis.
be specific and concrete (not overly general or hypothetical).
be used to prove the topic sentence/thesis.

46. Practice: Concrete Details (p. 30)
Prompt : Write an essay explaining when the use of force is necessary.
Topic Sentence: The use of force is necessary in order provide for the public’s safety and well-being.

47. Practice: Concrete Details (p. 30)
unacceptable/ failing concrete detail = hypothetical:
Let’s say there is this cop and while on duty, he passes a bank being robbed. Is he going to just stand by and not use his weapon? No.

48. Practice: Concrete Details (p. 30)
acceptable concrete detail = concrete/general:
Each and every day police officers employ the use of force to help prevent dangerous criminals from doing harm to the public. When officers go out on duty, they are often faced with dealing with dangerous criminals that can pose a huge safety threat to the public, from murderers, to armed robbers, to muggers, who will not be subdued peacefully.

49. Practice: Concrete Details (p. 30)
excellent concrete detail = concrete/specific:
In 1966, Charles Whitman, a former United States Marine, climbed to the top of the clock tower on the University of Texas’s campus, where he preceded to fire a rifle at anyone he saw moving on the ground below. The Austin Police Department responded, and Whitman began to fire on the police. The only recourse was to fire back.

50. Practice: Commentary (p. 31-32)
Commentary consists of two parts:
Part I: Explains how in the example you provided, the anecdote illustrates the point you are trying to make. This part is focused specifically on the events described in your concrete detail.
Part II: Explains what lesson or message is meant to be derived from the events described in the concrete detail. This part is focused on drawing a general conclusion. (This is also sometimes called a concluding sentence.)

51. Practice: Commentary (p. 31-32)
Had the officers not used force to subdue the sniper, the outcome may have been far more tragic. The measures that were taken to stop the shooter were warranted; through the actions of the officers, countless civilian lives were saved. It is necessary for the police and other peace officers to use force in the line of duty in order to prevent dangerous assailants from committing violent acts. The need to ensure the public’s safety justifies the use of force.

52. Differentiation for Expository Writing (p. 33)
For students who have it down:
Even papers with a score of 4 can have a few issues, so have the student perform a self-evaluation using the rubric.
Ask students to brainstorm “out-of-the-box” concrete details instead ones that could be classified as the “norm.”
Have students eliminate passive voice.
Have students work on using meaningful transitions.
Make these students in-class, peer editors.

53. Differentiation for Expository Writing (p. 33)
For students who are struggling:
Ask students to identify the parts of other sample essays to gain a better understanding of the elements and how they function.
Give students a sample thesis and concrete detail. Have them write the commentary.
Give students a thesis and have them come up with the concrete detail and commentary.
Start small; have students write only one paragraph at first.
Provide an outline.
Write a thesis or brainstorm as a class, group, partners, etc.

54. Questions

55. Contact Information
Michelle Wheeler
Ryan Calhoun
Justin Tims