1. Best Practices for Engaging with Others
Tools for Living your Purpose

2. Objectives
Provide information and tools that help you create an optimal environment for your group to thrive, including:
Ways to ensure healthy communication and optimal collaboration
Methods to build your community and optimize the time you spend together
Guidelines for practices to help your group stay healthy over time

3. Topic 1: Healthy Communication
Read over your copy of Mayflower’s Guidelines for Healthy Communication.
Turn to a neighbor.
Share the one to two guidelines that really stand out for you. Why are they meaningful? Ask your neighbor to do the same.
We’ll ask you and your neighbor to report out to the large group.

4. Methods of Communication
When you need to communicate…
For what types of communication do you prefer ?
For what types of communication do you think it’s best to use the phone?
For what types of communication do you think it’s best to talk face-to-face?

5. Email Risks No guarantee people will read it on a timely basis
No non-verbals
Meaning can be easily misconstrued
It’s not confidential
Not constructive, yet tempting to use it for inflamed conversations

6. Email Use Guidelines Use a meaningful subject line.
Keep your objective in mind.
Keep it brief.
Establish a pleasant tone.
Attend to clarity.
Resist using when your emotions are running high.
Resist long-chain s. Pick up the phone or call a meeting.
and put important information at the top of your message.
by preferring “we” rather than “you”, and being more ask than tell-directed.
When in doubt, put the message away and read it later, or seek out an editor.

7. Faith and Community Building
Providing Care and Support to One Another

8. Exercise: One to One Discussion
Find a partner you know less well.
One of you will be the speaker/sharer and one of you will be the listener.
Each of you will have five minutes for a brief one- to-one conversation. Each person gets uninterrupted time to talk.
The listener in the conversation focuses on the speaker, asks open-ended questions, and encourages the speaker to say more. The focus remains on the speaker until it is the other person’s turn to talk.
Dawn will ring a chime when it is time to switch to the other person.

9. Your Starter Questions
Tell me what is interesting and engaging to you about the work your group is doing.
What in your background or personal history makes this so for you?

10. Building in Care and Support for your Group Members
Use an icebreaker or a check-in early in your meetings
Have one to ones with your group members throughout the year. Get to know one another on a deeper basis.
Follow up when someone doesn’t attend unexpectedly.
Check in on how people are doing after serious or contentious conversations.
What other suggestions do you have?

11. Brainstorm
Your meeting pet peeves. In other words, what can go wrong with meetings?

12. Guidelines for Effective Meetings
Meet only when there is a compelling reason.
Send background reading out ahead of time.
Be scrupulous about start and end times.
Take time to orient new members.
Begin and end with a devotional.
Use Mayflower’s Guidelines for Healthy Communication.
Keep meeting time to 90 minutes max.
Use agendas.
Determine a note taker. Summarize discussion and record actions and decisions.
Discuss and adopt ground rules.
Be sure you address how decisions will be made and what you will do when you cannot reach consensus.

13. Facilitating the Meeting
Stick to the agenda and keep the conversation on track.
Attend to the process as well as the content.
Paraphrase and summarize important statements and group decisions.
Manage monopolizers.
Invite quieter people to share.
Use the round robin when it’s important to hear each voice
Use your ground rules and the healthy communication guidelines as an anchor when conversations become serious.
Consider pausing and reflecting if things get contentious.

14. Case Studies of Challenging Situations
With your small group, read each case study.
What would you do in each situation?
Your note taker and reporter is the person who lives closest to church.
Be prepared to share your responses with the larger group.

15. Group Practices to Ensure Long-term Health
Use a term limit of three years. Group members may return after a one-year sabbatical.
Review your Ministry Plan with your Leadership Team liaison on an annual basis.
Periodically partner with MRCE to garner feedback on your group’s continuing relevance and effectiveness.