1. Composition and Rhetoric I Lesson 2
We’re going to start by correcting some of the mistakes from the in-class diagnostic essay.
Don’t worry if you see your own work on here, I chose examples which are common mistakes that many students make.
Some mistakes are quite basic, and I’m sure the author could have corrected them himself if enough time had been taken to proof read the essay.

2. What’s wrong with these sentences?
“Is marriage between robots and humans could become a common occurrence?”
“Much types of music are specific to some lifestyle.”
“Marriage between robots and humans will lead to many disadvantages for society.”
“Nowadays people are being more interested in technology.”
“The technology evolution has lead to increasingly realist robots.”
Remember your basic grammar!
Two main verbs in the sentence.
Much – uncountable. Many – countable. ‘certain’ would be better than ‘some, and ‘lifestyle’ should be pluralised.
When talking about hypothetical situations, use the conditional.
Use the correct tense – if you’re not sure, revise them on englishpage.com
Word form – technological evolution or evolution of technology, realistic robots.

3. What’s wrong with these sentences?
“Robots don’t have the ability to have kids.”
“To put it in a nutshell, our taste in music can influence our choice of friends.”
Academic tone – avoid slang and familiar expressions.
“Some people don’t really appreciate reggae music.”
Watch out for ‘false friends’.
“Music has played and sustained an important role and significance in human society for thousands of years.”
“It’s rarely not the case that friends cannot always be a choice influenced by music.”
Be concise and direct!
“Kids” should be replaced by “children” or “the ability to reproduce”.
Expressions like “to put it in a nutshell” should not be used.
“appreciate” doesn’t mean “apprecier” – appreciate has connotations of understanding or gratitude.
“Music has played an important role in society for thousands of years.”
No idea what this means – be direct! “It is common for music to influence people’s choice of friends.”

4. What’s wrong with these sentences?
“Technology and science’s progress are huge.”
“We all know that friendship’s are also about that.”
Its or It’s -> what is the difference?
Use apostrophes and possessives correctly.
“Besides, music is a way to meet new people and discover different cultures.”
“By the way, music can gather people who share the same interests.”
Music defines character, and characters of the same type choose to be friends, therefore affecting your choice of friends.”
Use signaling words and phrases correctly.
There has been significant progress in science and technology.
Friendships – don’t use apostrophes when it is a plural.
It’s -> it is its -> possessive
As a rule, don’t use possessives if it sounds awkward, often with plurals or compound nouns.
Avoid using “besides”. Use “furthermore” or “moreover” instead.
“By the way” means “au fait”.
“and therefore affects your choice of friends” or “thereby affecting” or “thus affecting”

5. What’s wrong with these sentences?
“We choose a friend because we like the way he/she behaves and because he/she is kind to you.”
Be consistent.
“Does it adress the task?”
“Is the english accurate?”
Copy accurately!!
“I believe that our taste in music does influence our choice of friends.”
Avoid using the first person (I think, I believe, in my opinion, etc.)
If you start off with “we” don’t switch to “you” in the same sentence. The same goes for your use of tenses.
The majority of you made these mistakes when copying the grading criteria.
Avoid using “I think…” “in my opinion…” anyway, as they are too subjective. Instead say “it could be argued that…” for example. Even in a conclusion, you are not stating what you think, but summing up what you have demonstrated, therefore do not use “I think…”

6. Some frequent mistakes
Don’t use “…” in English to denote a list that continues. Use “etc.”
Music -> uncountable
“the music” or “music”?
“listen to music”
If I have corrected prepositions, please learn them.
“this” or “these”?
“as” or “such as”?
“people” or “persons”?
Pay attention to plural coherence. If you start in the plural, you must stay in the plural all the way through.
Countable forms: “types of music” “styles of music” “songs”
The music = a specific reference (e.g. the music that was playing at that moment)
Music = general (e.g. People’s taste in music is an indication of their personality)
Prepositions need to be learnt.
This = singular – these = plural
As = ‘comme’ – such as = ‘tel que’
People = general plural – persons = legal/scientific language

7. A few guidelines Avoid long, complicated sentences.
One idea = one sentence
One topic = one paragraph
Make sure your introduction is convincing and accurate. If you start an essay with a poor introduction, it gives a bad impression to the reader from the outset.
You need to maintain an academic tone throughout. One way of improving this is to read a lot of academic texts in English and try to adopt the same style.
Avoid asking questions – instead say “In this essay, the question of whether rules should be obeyed will be examined.” for example.
Never write just for the sake of putting words down on paper. Each word and each sentence should add value to your writing.

8. Herbert J. Gans The War Against the Poor Instead of Programs to End Poverty
What does Gans say about attitudes towards the poor in the US?
What, according to Gans, are the main causes of poverty in the US?
What different solutions are suggested by Gans in order to end poverty?
What are the ten defenses that Gans outlines?
1. The political climate labels the poor as “undeserving” and as an “underclass”.
The behavior of the poor, often due to their anger and lack of choices, is seen by the rest of society as immoral.
Society is angry with and scared of the poor.
There are misconceptions of welfare – it is seen as people getting something for nothing.
Society is quicker to judge and label the poor for the same behavior exhibited by everyone in society.
2. Unskilled and semiskilled workers have become “surplus labor” due to changes in the domestic and world economy.
State welfare has become increasingly limited to the middle classes.
3. Best ended by job-centered economic growth.
Better support (increased welfare) would lead to less inequality. This would help future generations to escape from poverty.
Need to change how the nonpoor feel about the poor – partly through a more prosperous economy, and partly through a more egalitarian society.
An intellectual and cultural defense of the poor.
4. 1. Poverty is not equivalent to moral failure. When nonpoor citizens encounter certain difficulties, they have access to experts to help them. The poor are generally punished for the same behavior.
2. Most of what the poor do is a direct result of their poverty.
3. The poor have fewer choices, therefore what others may judge as irresponsible behavior, may actually be the most responsible choice available (e.g. going on welfare in order to make sure your children have access to basic health care).
4. There is a scarcity of jobs. Unskilled work was the first to disappear when deindustrialization began.
5. The behavior of many ethnic minorities is a result of their poverty, not their race.
6. Blacks should not be treated like recent immigrants. - immigrant jobs. – access to welfare. Easy to exploit immigrants.
7. The labels which are applied to the poor do not help. Terms such as “underclass”, “undeserving” etc.
8. We need to avoid stereotypes, as these lead to increased discrimination and can therefore be self-fulfilling prophecies.
9. Blaming the poor doesn’t help anyone.
10. Reports and journalism doesn’t focus on the right issues. They may look at the effects of poverty (ie. Increased cirme), but not at the causes of it.

9. Herbert J. Gans The War Against the Poor Instead of Programs to End Poverty
Of the different arguments made by Gans:
Select one that you agree with in particular. Can you give any examples of how this would help the poor?
Select one argument that you do not agree with. Why not? 1.

10. Including Direct Quotes in your Summaries

11. Direct Quotes
The next assignment requires you to include direct quotes in your summary.
What is the difference between direct quotes, indirect quotes, summarizing and paraphrasing?

12. Direct Quotes Should be in quotation marks (“…”)
Should have the page number in brackets afterwards.
Should be smoothly incorporated into your own writing.
If the quote is less than 4 lines long (which it should be in this assignment) there is no need to put them on a separate line.

13. Some definitions
The topic sentence -> a sentence, often the 1st, giving the reader an idea of what the paragraph is going to be about
Lexical Phrases -> multi-word chunks of language of varying length that run on a continuum from fixed phrases e.g. “in a nutshell”, “for better or for worse”
Collocations -> Relatively fixed multi-word expressions, e.g. “steady growth”, “highly dangerous”.
Lexical Coherence -> Words and phrases that demonstrate the logical relationship between your ideas, transitional words and pronouns.
Parallel structure -> used to list or compare ideas, e.g. “He is captain of the school football team, class president, and a member of the student union committee.” It is a neat and coherent way of structuring different ideas in a sentence.

14. Am I a surface reader or a deep reader?

15. A critical reader
For this type of course, you need to develop your skills as a critical and deep reader.
Characteristics of a Deep Approach to reading:
Intention to understand
Vigorous interaction with content
Relate new ideas to previous knowledge
Relate concepts to everyday experience
Relate evidence to conclusions
Examine the logic of the argument

16. A critical reader This means that you must:
Relate ideas between different texts
Question what you read
Reflect on what you read
Examine the details carefully to see how they fit into a wider context
Read beyond the minimum requirements

17. A critical reader
On this course, you should not be reading just to learn certain facts and figures.
Therefore you must not
Concentrate on memorising certain facts.
Note down all the facts and figures.