1. Working With Challenging Families/
Working With Challenging Families
Mary Jamin Maguire, MA, LP, LICSW
Adler Center for Family & Community

2. Families
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
Leo Tolstoy,
Anna Karenina

3. Challenging Families What Are The Challenges? Personal/Family
Community
Professional

4. Challenges Personal/Family Personality Issues/Mental Health Issues
Violence: Anger/Intimidation/Aggression
Ambivalence/Avoidance/Non-Cooperation
Denial/Minimization of Issues
Physical Health Issues
Chemical Dependency Issues
Poverty

5. Challenges Community Lack of Resources Court Involvement
Cultural Difference
Inequities /Racism/other “isms”

6. Challenges Professional Having too much work (paperwork) Unclear goals
Unreasonable expectations
Lack of professional resources
Minimal supervision/training
Conflict with co-workers
Lack of collaboration

7. So – What Do We Do Now??

8. “The Four Agreements” By Don Miguel Ruiz Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.

9. “The Four Agreements” Be Impeccable With Your Word
Always be honest with clients – take a risk
Be consistent in what you say – to clients, co-workers, the courts
Be “Firm & Kind”
Notice strengths and challenges
Balance encouragement and confrontation

10. “The Four Agreements” Don’t Take Anything Personally
It’s not about you
Maintain a professional attitude
Listening is not agreeing
Remember – Conflict is not, necessarily, a bad thing

11. The Four Agreements Don’t Make Assumptions
Watch out for labels (“labels disable”)
Don’t be judgmental
Remember – We’re all doing the best we can, at the time, with what we’ve got…
Ask open-ended questions

12. The Four Agreements Always Do Your Best
Be at your best – take care of yourself
Get adequate supervision & training
Collaborate with other professionals
Be flexible & creative

13. How To Start?? Alignment of Goals… __________________ ________________
__________________ ________________
Client Goal Helper’s Goal
If the goals are aligned … there will be no resistance!

14. Some Effective Approaches
Have a calm. friendly demeanor
Use active listening
Communicate openly, share information
Find points of agreement
Set/keep effective boundaries
Neither conspire nor collude with families
Work to solve problems collaboratively
Be patient & persistent, don’t give up

15. Clients Have A Right … To tell you they’re not ready
To lead the conversation
To participate in setting the agenda
To expect you to be unemotional
To be emotional
To expect you to be objective
To be subjective
To be treated with respect (even when they are not respectful to you)

16. Remember…
A thorough Assessment leads to effective change (what needs to change, what is needed for change)
If professionals are too intimidated to confront someone, how must it be for the other family members?
All behavior has meaning & purpose
We only do what works

17. When We’re Frustrated …
We feel inadequate
We hold ourselves responsible
We criticize the client/family
We blame “the system”
We want to give up

18. “Changing the Pattern”
Events Don’t Cause Feelings/Actions …
Do It Yourself Therapy
Lynn Lott, Riki Intner & Barbara Mendenhall

19. What is the Current Pattern?
Think of a challenging situation with a family …
What was Your Goal? _______________________
What were you thinking? ___________________
What did you do? ________________________
What were you feeling? ____________________
What is the pattern?
______________________________________________

20. Creating a New Pattern? You’ve created a different pattern!!
Think of the same challenging situation with a family …
and, using the same goal …
How would you like to feel? ____________________________
What would you be doing (if you felt that way)? _____________________________________________________
And what would you be thinking? ________________________
You’ve created a different pattern!!
____________________________________________

21. Success
“In order to succeed, you must know what you’re doing, like what you are doing, and believe in what you are doing.”
Will Rogers

22. North American Society of Adlerian Psychology
65th Annual Conference May 17th –21st – 2017 Marriott Pinnacle, Vancouver, Canada

23. Encouragement Consultant Training
Lynn Lott
May 9th & 10th
Adler Graduate School
Richfield, MN

24. Social Worker Post-Test
Describe an effective way to eliminate resistance in challenging clients.
Describe some effective strategies for establishing an working relationship with a challenging client.
How can conflict be helpful in a relationship with a client.
What is the role and responsibility of Social Workers in a conflict with a client.
Describe/discuss a technique to reframe a conflicted and/or challenging relationship with a client.