1. Thesis should be complete—write your introduction.
The thesis is the last sentence of the introduction that should state what your paper is about. THIS IS YOUR ASSERTION.
Thesis should be complete—write your introduction.
THINK ABOUT FUNNEL LEAD.

2. Funnel Lead: Broad to specific -Thesis
Broad/Theme: ie patriotism, propaganda, heroism, war, etc.
Bring in your subject: ie Who is Pat Tillman and link to your theme.
Specific: Thesis
In country’s history, there have been many war heroes. Some have famous names like, General McArthor and General Robert E. Lee, but there are countless every day soldiers who have dedicated their lives to protecting and serving America who are considered heroic. Pat Tillman was a former NFL player who gave up millions to serve his country in the military after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Sadly, our countries leaders betrayed him. In the documentary “A Tillman Story” directed by Amir Bar-Lev and in the novel Where Men Win Glory by Jon Krakauer the authors investigate the question of who is to blame for the cover-up surrounding the nature of Pat Tillman’s death. Krakauer and Bar-Lev maintain that the United States Army is culpable for the cover-up.

3. Who is to Blame?
Intro Paragraph #1: 3-4 sentences. Give a brief background. Start with the most general information and end with the thesis statement.
Paragraphs #2 and #3:
*Topic sentence (What is your assertion)
*Quote to support your assertion
*3-5 sentences of (How does the quote support your assertion? Be specific.)
Concluding Paragraph 3 So what? What does your information prove? Call to action.
NO FIRST PERSON!

4. Body Paragraph!!!!!
 Topic sentence (What are you going to prove in the paragraph/)
Embedded quote (Proof)
Commentary (So what…what does your quote prove? How does your evidence support your thesis?)
Closing Sentence

6. NO NAKED QUOTES
A naked quote…
is dropped into a paragraph out of nowhere
begins a sentence with quotation marks
confuses the reader because it provides no context
is longer than 6-8 words
usually consists of an entire sentence taken from the passage
does not have documented source

7. Naked Quote Vs. Quotes with Context
“In war, truth is the first casualty” (Krauker).
As Aeschylus, the exalted Greek tragedian, noted in fifth century B.C.E.
“In war, truth is the first casualty”(Krauker).
He said, “It’s what made him a true hero” (Reid).
Bryan O’Neal told his commanders, “It was fratricide” from the very
beginning (The Tillman).

8. Lead Sentences According to Mary Tillman, … (cite source).
In the article _______ by ___________ (pg 3). {If no page number then leave blank}
In the movie __________ O’Neill says, “…….” (cite). {You must include last name of producer and director}

9. No first person or second person
I, Me, We, Us, Our, You
No first person or second person