1. Assistant/Associate Principals’ & Deans’ Statewide Mentoring Meeting
Tuesday, September 13, 2016

2. Outcomes: Grow your professional network;
Cultivate the mentor-mentee relationship;
Consult with colleagues regarding a leadership challenge;
Discuss pertinent legal issues;
Exchange quality, preferred resources;
Gain insight from practicing principals regarding effective practices in discipline ;
Examine strategies for engaging in difficult conversations;
Explore options for improving leadership-life fit.

3. Links Resources: http://www.sai-iowa.org/sept16apmentoring.cfm
Evaluation:
Mentoring Matters:
SMACKDOWN:

4. Welcome!! Name School/District
Your building’s focus for professional learning (a word or phrase)

5. Learning Community: Leadership Dilemma Consultancy

6. Protocol Leader who owns the oldest car will be the first presenter
Timekeeper/facilitator will be the person to the left of the presenter
Presenter shares an overview of the dilemma and poses his/her focus question.
3 MINUTES

7. Protocol
Consultancy Group asks clarifying questions – those with brief, factual answers.
Consultancy Group asks probing questions:
Worded to help presenter clarify and expand his/her thinking about the dilemma presented to the group.
Help presenter analyze the dilemma.
2 MINUTES

8. Protocol
Consultancy Group talks with each other about the dilemma presented while the presenter listens and takes notes:
What did we hear?
What didn’t we hear that might be relevant?
What assumptions seem to be operating?
What questions does the dilemma raise for us?
What do we think about the dilemma?
What might we do or try if faced with a similar dilemma? What have we done in similar situations?
5 MINUTES

9. Protocol
Presenter reflects on what he/she heard and on what he/she is now thinking, sharing with the group anything that particularly resonated during the consultancy.
5 MINUTES
Rotate to second presenter.

10. Legal Update and Scenarios
Matt Carver, SAI
Legal Update and Scenarios

11. Resource Smackdown http://bit.ly/smackdown2016 A B 1 2
Individually, brainstorm (ABC Brainstorming) top resources that support your work. Colored dots group together. Jot list on spreadsheet.

12. Modified Discussion Panel: Masterful Discipline

13. Welcome, Experts!! Jeff Tollefson, Storm Lake Mark Hutcheson, Linn-Mar
Mark Hutcheson, Linn-Mar
Kim Ensminger, Central Lee

14. Masterful Discipline
Please share your position and the expectations for you in your role, particularly as they relate to discipline.
What is your philosophy regarding discipline? How does this play out in your day-to-day work?
How do you help teachers understand their role in discipline and how do you hold them accountable?
Turn and Talk

15. Will you share an example of a common, though challenging discipline issue and how you have handled it?
Will you share an example of a discipline situation that did not go well and discuss what you learned from that experience?
How have you connected with parents such that the first contact isn't a discipline call? or How do you balance the perceived negative (discipline) calls with what is perceived as more positive communication?
Turn and Talk

16. Engaging in Difficult Conversations
Roark Horn & Dana Schon, SAI
Engaging in Difficult Conversations

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19. Switch Roles 1 2

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21. Jennifer Abrams: Having Hard Conversations video: https://www. youtube

23. Why do we avoid hard conversations?
The nice thing to do IS speak up!
Only civil, respectful dialogue is acceptable—focus on that to remain calm as you communicate this expectation to others
Short term personal discomfort for me will likely pale in comparison to long-term gains for everyone
This tired, tired feeling is what some students experience daily as they face this situation—it is worth it on their behalf to say something!
Trust your gut/the hair on your neck/your inkling—gather data
Don’t over think it! Give yourself a timeline to plan the conversation and a deadline to have it!
Our job is to protect and serve students. We might consider how we can help the teacher improve so that he/she feels less rather than more overwhelmed.
Ask yourself how like it is that your hard conversation will have lasting consequences on your relationship, and remind yourself if you are speaking up on behalf of students, it’s worth it.
Consider stepping up onto the balcony. What would you see as an outside observer in this situation?

24. But…
When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short term discomfort for long term dysfunction.

25. So…

26. Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations
Our lives are a series of relationships, the success or failure of which happen one conversation at a time. Extraordinary leadership is the result of having fierce conversations with ourselves first and then with others. Only then can any of us hope to provide the caliber of leadership that our organizations need and desire.

27. What difficult conversation??
Ever not speak up in a meeting when you disagree with what is being said?
Ever pretend to agree with someone when in fact you think his/her idea or strategy is flawed?
Ever pretend to agree with your colleagues, then act in complete defiance of what you said?
Ever not resolve an issue directly with a colleague, boss or friend but then complain about it behind their back?
Ever fail to call out behavior that lacked integrity or worse, violated policy, practice or the law?

28. What difficult conversation??
* Agree—this idea/concept resonates with me ? I wonder about this. I am not sure how it would play out in our context. ✔ We utilize this strategy/idea and can build upon it.
Read Connected Principals – Culture Killers: Staff Issue or Leadership Issue? General strategies for identifying and navigating difficult issues.

29. Table Talk

30. What difficult conversation aren’t you having?
What are we personally pretending not to know? What is our organization pretending not to know?
What is the most important thing we should be talking about today?
How have we behaved in ways guaranteed to produce the results with which we are unhappy?
What topic is XXXX hoping I won’t bring up?
What is the most important decision we’re facing? What is keeping us from making it?
What is bothering me?

31. 3 principles:
Get Clear
Craft
Communicate

32. The majority of the work in any difficult conversation is work you do on yourself.

33. Get Clear!
What language can you “borrow” to make your conversation more focused and less subjective?
What does the job description say?
What do the standards say (teachers)?
What do staff, student, parent, and/or volunteer handbooks say?

34. Make a Plan Identify what you would like to see.
Consider what the teacher will need to make it happen.
Consider what you will need to do to support the teacher and what resources you may need to make available.

35. Hold the conversation…
Set the tone and purpose
Get to the point and name it professionally (avoid judgment and adjectives)
Give specific examples—share ONE or TWO of the most current
Describe the effect of this behavior on the school, colleagues, students
State your wish to resolve the issue and open the discussion

36. Mentoring pairs process template
Mentoring pairs process template. Mentors: What else do you consider as you prepare for a conversation? What difficult conversations have you experienced and how have you prepared?

37. A few tips…
Acknowledge emotional energy – yours and theirs – and direct it towards a useful purpose.
Know and return to your purpose at difficult moments.
Don’t take verbal attacks personally. Help your partner come back to center. Resistance is the pivotal moment in transformative conversations.
Don’t assume they can see things from your point of view.
Practice the conversation with a mentor/colleague before holding the real one.
Mentally practice the conversation. See various possibilities and visualize yourself handling them with ease. Envision the outcome you’re hoping for.

38. Tough issues aren’t resolved with one conversation.

39. Leadership-life Fit: Resiliency via Mindfulness
Dana Schon, SAI
Leadership-life Fit: Resiliency via Mindfulness

40. Resiliency…
the process of effectively coping with adversity—bouncing back from difficulties; not a personality trait; a way of paying attention, thinking, and behaving that anyone can learn.

41. Mindfulness
Simple yet effective form of meditation that enables you to gain control of unruly thoughts and behaviors
Benefits:
more focused
Less stressed - stops you from feeling out of control, stops you from jumping from one thought to the next, and stops you from ruminating on negative thoughts

42. Mindfulness
"Mindfulness is the process of actively noticing new things. When you do that, it puts you in the present. It makes you more sensitive to context and perspective. It's the essence of engagement. And it's energy-begetting, not energy consuming. The mistake most people make is to assume it's stressful and exhausting--all this thinking. But what's stressful is all the mindless negative evaluations we make and the worry that we'll find problems and not be able to solve them.” ~Ellen Langer, Harvard University psychologist
Benefits:
more focused
Less stressed - stops you from feeling out of control, stops you from jumping from one thought to the next, and stops you from ruminating on negative thoughts

43. The Lingering Effect of Stress
The emotional soup that follows a stressful event can whip up negative stories about yourself or others that goes on and on, beyond being useful. For example, if you have an argument with your partner before leaving for work, you can end up replaying that conversation all day, which continues to proliferate anxiety or low mood far more than is necessary.

44. Key Components of Resiliency
Positive relationships (most important factor)
Ability to make plans and take action to solve problems
Capacity to manage difficult emotions
Effective communication skills
Mindfulness reduces this rumination and, if practiced regularly, changes your brain so that you’re more resilient to future stressful events.

45. Build Resilience Nurture relationships
Find meaning in difficult situations—how have you positively navigated the challenge?
Be optimistic- Change your response to stress.
Mindfulness
Be decisive and take action
Expect change.

46. Video including 1 min. mindfulness strategy to practice

47. A foundational tool to build resilience…
“Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally. It’s about knowing what is on your mind.” ~Kabat-Zinn

48. Final Thoughts & Evaluation
Upcoming learning opportunities: Evaluation: