1. Writing Mini-Lesson
Show, Don’t Tell!

2. Show, Don’t Tell!
I could hardly wait until my mom came home from the hospital with the new baby. The baby was cute.
OR….

3. Show, Don’t Tell!
Melissa has big blue eyes, straight black hair, and soft skin. She has red cheeks, too. Her fingers and toes are tiny, and her clothes aren’t much bigger than an American Doll’s.

4. Show, Don’t Tell!
Please shut your eyes while I read this sentence to you:
Mavis was angry when she heard what the umpire said.
What does that look like?

5. Show, Don’t Tell!
Please shut your eyes again and listen to this sentence:
Shaking her head back and forth, Mavis pounded home plate with her fist after the umpire shouted, “You’re out!”
Now what picture do you have in your head?

6. Show, Don’t Tell
Strategies writers use to SHOW what is happening include:
describing the character’s actions rather than just saying how he or she feels.
using action verbs.
using similes and metaphors.
using dialogue.
Appealing to some of the five senses to paint a picture of what is happening.

7. Example of “Telling”
One day George was riding his bike. A guy came up to him. He chased George into a dark alley. George rode through it fast and the man stopped to rest.
How could we revise this using action, sensory details, dialogue and personal thoughts?
**Make sure to keep in mind/answer the following questions in your rewrite:
Where was George when he saw the man?
What else did he see as he rode?
What did the man look like?
What did he do? Did he say anything?
What was George thinking as the man approached him?

8. Revised for “Showing”
George pedaled into the dark alley. Off to his right he glimpsed a trash can. Crouched behind the can was a man in a short-sleeved shirt. George could see a tattoo on his arm. (sensory details)
Seeing George, the man held out a cigarette. “Gotta light?” he asked. (dialogue)
“Smoking’s bad for you,” George said. Suddenly his adrenaline began pumping. What if this guy tried to kidnap him? (personal thoughts)

9. Example of Telling
Mary opened her present quickly. She took out a doll. It was the one she’d always wanted. She thanked her parents, and happily started to play with it.
How could we revise this using action, sensory details, dialogue and personal thoughts?
Turn the “telling” example into a “showing” example. **Consider the following questions:
Where was Mary when she opened the present?
What did the doll look like?
What kind of doll was it (brand)?
Why did Mary want this doll in particular?
What did she specifically say to her parents?
How did she play with the doll?
Where did she take the doll to play?

10. Practice
Turn the following sentences into “showing” sentences. Write your answers in your reader’s response notebook after your notes.
I was really mad.
She was tired from having stayed up late.
Alec wasn’t paying attention to the teacher.
Tamika was nice to Rica.
The pizza was delicious.