1. Challenging your Perceptions about Behaviour
Co-Facilitated by Cheryl Cruikshank, Social Development Consultant, CMHA and Cheryl Anderson RECE, QCCI
September 27, 2016

2. Pushing our Buttons
What behaviours tend to “push your buttons” or “drive you crazy?” These behaviours are real for you and the child!

3. Let’s Meet Up with Childrens’ Minds Not their Behaviours!
Every behaviour has a reason! All behaviour is COMMUNICATION! Be a communication detective! What could behaviour be trying to communicate to you? Keep looking for the answer!

4. Iceberg – What lies beneath!

5. How we look at a behaviour impacts our reactions!
When we focus on what children are NOT doing, rather than WHY they are doing it, we diminish their capabilities, we become frustrated and it impacts our reactions negatively!

6. When children are engaged in challenging behaviours (grabbing a toy, climbing a table, spitting) how can we meet up with their minds rather than focus on their behaviours? How can we figure out what they are trying to tell us?
If we are curious about WHY they are doing it, rather than being set on making them comply, it will change how we react!

7. Challenging our Thinking
Grabbing a toy = trying to connect with a peer RATHER THAN being aggressive Climbing a table = an eager explorer trying to challenge their body RATHER THAN a defiant child Covering my ears and screaming = it’s too loud in this classroom for me RATHER THAN an annoying child

8. Tantrum = I don’t know how to tell you what I need and what I am feeling RATHER THAN an out of control child Saying NO = I need to feel in control of this situation RATHER THAN I don’t want to listen to you Crying = I am sad RATHER THAN an annoying child trying to get what I need

9. Photo Study Ask yourself these questions as you look at the photos:
What is your first reaction and why?
Can you describe what the child is doing?
What do you imagine is on the child’s mind? What is he/she trying to communicate, accomplish or understand?
What could you say or do to support the child’s efforts?
(Use your own photos of children here to prompt conversations!)

10. What you pay attention to grows!

11. Connecting versus Directing
Importance of relationships!

12. Communicating with children
Let’s rethink how we communicate to children about their actions!
Describe the things you WANT to see more of; don’t describe the things you DON’T WANT to see more of!
“Toys are not for throwing” increases toy throwing
“Teeth are not for biting” increases biting

13. Let’s practice different language to reinforce what we want to see happening! “Don’t throw that toy” = “Let’s build with that toy” “Put away that toy and stop crying” = “You are trying so hard to figure that out” Other examples?

14. What do you say now? What could you say differently?
“Put away those tears” = “You are feeling sad right now. Would you like a hug?”
“You need to get off that trampoline. It’s not safe” = “Look at how high Emily is jumping. Emily has such strong legs.”
What do you say now? What could you say differently?

15. Pause and Consider….. What is the child’s action?
Why are they doing it?
How will I make children feel with my response?
What About?
Time out
Denial of access to something (food, toys)
Comparison of children
Negative stories of behaviour to parents
Logical consequences

16. Check In – How are you feeling?

17. Check In
Invest in self-care! What you do is “hard work” and “heart work” Remember that you must take care of yourself in order to take care of others! Reflect with others – you are not an island Learn from every situation!

18. “ Listen to what children are saying with and without their words
“ Listen to what children are saying with and without their words. Listen well with your eyes to what they are trying to tell you and listen with your heart to what they hope you will hear.”

19. Bridge to Practice