1. Writing Tips
Bielec

2. Small fixes…
When you are not citing, put commas and periods inside of quotation marks.
In “Beware of the Dog,” Roald Dahl…
Cite all language taken from the text.
The obvious repeated use of cloud and sun helps illustrate how the injured pilot was endlessly tumbling through the sky, lost to the world.
The obvious repeated use of “cloud” and “sun” helps illustrate how the injured pilot was endlessly tumbling through the sky, lost to the world.

3. Ways to Improve… Specificity in the topic sentence and clincher
Writing in the present tense
Using plot to set up quotes

4. Specificity in the topic sentence and clincher

5. In “Beware of the Dog,” by Roald Dahl, the choice of words stand out to the reader, and allows the reader to better understand and connect with the writing.
Lacks specificity
Dahl’s use of vivid diction in “Beware of the Dog” adds meaning to the story by helping the reader visualize a scene and enables them to understand the pilot’s perspective.
Specific

6. Writing in the present tense

7. When you are writing about fiction, you should write in the present tense.
No matter how many times you read the story, Peter Williamson ejects from the plane.

8. Through the use of short sentences, the author shows that Peter Williamson was in shock and was trying to control himself even though his anxiety level was high.

9. Through the use of short sentences, the author shows that Peter Williamson was in shock and was trying to control himself even though his anxiety level was high.

10. Through the use of short sentences, the author shows that Peter Williamson is in shock and is trying to control himself even though his anxiety level is high.

11. Using plot to set up quotes

12. In the short story, Dahl also uses very long sentences with a lot of commas followed by one last very short sentence. “The sight of this fly, the suddenness of seeing this small black speck on a sea of grey, brushed the surface of his brain, and quickly in that second, he remembered everything.

13. Frustrated and confused, he comes to the conclusion that “They were JU-88’s.”
This example is much more fluid then the previous one. It will also help you seamlessly transition from point to point in your paragraph. Use plot to connect all of your examples.

14. While ejecting from the plane, “He throttled back, pulled off his helmet, undid his straps, and pushed the stick hard over to the left” (Dahl 149).
In contrast, the author expresses Williamson’s thoughts in short sentences when he says “Everything is fine, he thought. I’m doing all right. I’m doing nicely. I know my way home. I’ll be there in half an hour” (Dahl 147).

15. Good clinchers

16. All the different uses of sentence lengths help the reader fully immerse themselves in Williamson’s mind and make the reader understand Williamson’s emotions without Dahl stating so.

17. Dahl’s use of vivid diction throughout the story leaves the reader feeling a genuine sense of empathy for the pilot as they can better understand how the pilot is feeling.

18. Dahl’s use of syntax helps to add a sense of urgency and suspense to his story of Peter Williamson.

19. Consider… using only the part of the quote you need.
Use the quote; don’t let it use you.

20. Once Peter Williamson ejects, he “open[s] his eyes
Once Peter Williamson ejects, he “open[s] his eyes.” He sees “the white clouds chase[] the sun and the sun chase[] the clouds.” Lying in the hospital bed, Williamson notices a fly that “stop[s],” “[runs] forward,” and “[takes] off and buzze[s] around viciously in small circles,” only to “land[] back in the same place.” While slipping in and out of consciousness, Peter Williamson can only perceive the “white” and “black” of the hospital room and his unconsciousness, respectively.

21. Risk #2

22. Keep it under one page.