1. Writing Mini-lesson
Quote Integration!

2. Why integrate? In order to receive a goal score in the column of “Elaboration of Evidence” on the CCSS Argumentative Rubric, you must integrate all quotations used as evidence in your written responses or essays.

3. Let’s think about it in terms of pumpkin carving
How? Let’s review. There are many ways to integrate, but I’ll review a few with you. Let’s start with the basics.
Let’s think about it in terms of pumpkin carving

4. Advanced – most impressive;
demonstrates you are a sophisticated writer;
most difficult to master
How do I do this?
Incorporate a quotation into a sentence that you have already begun:
Realizing that Proctor will die if he doesn’t publicly confess, Hale advises him to “give his lie” (Miller 141), allowing him to live and not be hanged.
Proctor seals his tragic fate. By not allowing “[his] name nailed upon the church” (Miller 142), Proctor makes the decision to be hanged rather than have his name ruined.
[changed “my” to “his” for seamless integration and proper grammar]
A seamlessly integrated quote reads as a natural part of the sentence. Want to know if you've done it? Read the sentence out loud and listen to how the quotation flows.

5. Mediocre – (acceptable, just not as impressive)
How do I do this? Introduce the quotation with a complete sentence. This is what most students try but fail to do when they “plop” quotations into a paper. When using this strategy, you MUST use a colon after your brief introduction. When using this method, the quotation MUST also be a complete sentence.
Hale’s desperation is present in the final scene of the play: “Woman, plead with him! He drops to his knees. Be his helper!” (Miller 145).
Proctor’s strong conviction is evident in the following lines: “His breast heaving, his eyes staring, Proctor tears the paper and crumples it” (Miller 144).

6. This method is to be avoided!!
Basic– (gets your there, but c’mon)
How do I do this? Introduce the quotation by identifying the speaker. In other cases, you might identify the poet, author, or article title.
1. Hale says to Elizabeth, “Life, woman, is God’s most precious gift” (Miller 132).
2. Elizabeth replies to Hale by stating, “he have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him” (Miller 145).
This method is to be avoided!!

7. FROM THIS:
Basic: Hale says to Elizabeth, “Life, woman, is God’s most precious gift” (Miller 132).
TO THIS:
Advanced:
While Proctor’s life is on the line, Hale convinces Elizabeth to help save “God’s most precious gift” (Miller 132), meaning Proctor’s life.

8. Example
Original:
Night also represents the fire that killed so many people. “And just as the train stopped, this time we saw flames rising from a chimney into a dark sky” (Wiesel 28).
A suggested revision:
Wiesel suggests night represents death by fire as he and other passengers witness “flames rising from a chimney into a dark sky” (Wiesel 28), which are no doubt burning people alive.

9. Example
Original:
You start to see this fairly early in the book. “What had happened to me? My father had been struck in front of me, and I had not even blinked” (Wiesel 39).
A suggested revision:
Elie is disgusted with himself when his father is beaten right “in front of [him], and [he] had not even blinked” (Wiesel 39). He begins to question his own values as his concern for his father appears to decrease.

10. Example
Original:
Through out the book, most of the killings or horrible events, including Elie, occur during the night. “They must of taken him away before daybreak and taken him to the crematorium” (Wiesel 112).
A suggested revision:
Throughout the book, many horrible events including the killings occur during the night. Indeed, Wiesel tells of a man “taken…away before daybreak… to the crematorium” (Wiesel 112).

11. Let’s Take a look at our own drafts
Let’s Take a look at our own drafts... Please fix at least two of your integrated quotations

12. Diction and Language

13. If you ever see WC on your paper - Likely there is something vague, awkward, or unclear about your word choice.

14. So what? Using the strongest diction in your paper will convey your message (your answer to the prompt) to your audience (Ms. Costello) in the most direct way possible.*
*Note my sneaky little review of the rhetorical triangle.

15. How do I fix my word choice?
Revise, revise, revise.
Revise and re-word
Revise and replace words with more specific words
Revise the syntax (word order)
Revise your overall meaning because maybe that’s the disconnect!

16. Eventually, stronger word choice will come naturally
Eventually, stronger word choice will come naturally. Until then, memorize, practice, and revise, revise, revise.

18. Strengthening Examples from Our Papers
DON’T
DO!
Very angry
Furious
Very demanding
Domineering, overbearing, or even simply demanding!
Very formal
Academic, explicit, precise, or even simply formal.
Really important
Crucial, critical, significant

19. Rules for dealing with the dreaded “This”
Avoid at all cost!
When you can’t avoid “This”, at the very least, don’t leave it hanging. “This” always has to refer to something.
If you learn nothing else, NEVER SAY “THIS QUOTE* SHOWS.”

20. Strengthening Examples from our writing:
Notice how there are many different ways to strengthen the mistake of leaving “this” hanging.
DON’T
DO!
With this, the author is asking...
The author poses the question...
This was using the rhetorical…
This list employs the rhetorical…
This play was written...
The Crucible was written...
This evidence highlights Rebecca Nurse’s good reputation...
The depositions brought to the court highlight Rebecca Nurse’s good reputation...

21. STATES/stated/stating SHOW/SHOWS/showing/showed THIS QUOTE SHOWS
Do Now: Go through your paper and circle all instances of the following words:
VERY
USE/USES/USED/using
SAID/ SAYS/saying
STATES/stated/stating
SHOW/SHOWS/showing/showed
THIS QUOTE SHOWS
Contractions (can’t, won’t, etc)
REPLACE ALL OF THESE PLEASE!!!

22. Project OVERHAUL

23. Reasons to go back to the drawing board:
I didn’t answer the prompt
I didn’t understand the prompt, so my ideas don’t make sense
I was rushing, so my paragraph doesn’t make sense
I didn’t include any text evidence
My tone or diction wasn’t formal enough for the purpose of the assignment