1. Barry Lane Reviser’s Toolbox
Shelley L. Esman
2016

2. Jingle Jangle
List as many times as you can think of when the sound or the idea of keys was very important to you
Stand up Hand up Pair up
Pick one of your own or one you thought of after sharing. Write your story

3. Questions Please! What do you want to know more about?
Stand up Hand up Pair up
How will you add this information? Where?

4. Snapshots
Zoom in and give all the details as you get closer and closer to the character or object
12:00 Partners discuss where the snapshot should be
Add a snapshot….zoom in with details

5. Thoughtshots
Where does your partner wish he/she knew what the character is thinking?
Share with your 3:00 partner
Add at least one thoughtshot

6. Explode a moment Where should your action slow down? 6:00 partner

7. Make a Scene- re-see Action--blue Dialogue--yellow Snapshots--red
Thoughtshots--purple

8. Lead Seed “Don’t say anything! Don’t even look up!
Instead of: In this note I will ask you, the teller of this bank, to give me all the money in your drawer.

9. The Lead Board Big Potato Leads: Snapshot Leads:
Jump into the middle of your story and leave the reader wanting more.
Snapshot Leads:
Create a picture in the reader’s mind

10. The Lead Board Misleading Leads Set-Up Leads
Set up expectation, then surprise the reader
Set-Up Leads
Set up the action for the whole story in a few sentences.

11. The Lead Board Talking Leads Thinking Leads
Start with a line or two of dialogue
Thinking Leads
Start with a thought inside a character or you

12. Your Lead Try three different types Big potato Snapshot Talking
Thinking
Misleading
Set-Ups
6:00 partner

13. Verbs and nouns (54)
Verbs describe as much as adjectives

14. Revising Point of view
Change it up

15. Add a little personality
Personification

16. Each Mini lesson Includes a mentor text Is modeled by the teacher
Brings part of the RADaR into being

17. RADaR

19. “Oh no” I knew as soon as I slammed the door to keep in the warmth while I pumped the gas, that the keys were now locked inside with the car running no less. Who can I get to help me? The funny thing is that I don’t even remember who came to my rescue. All I remember is the fear of getting to work late. I was in BIG trouble.

20. Back then it seemed felt like I was in big trouble all the time
Back then it seemed felt like I was in big trouble all the time. I couldn’t live up the expectations of Mrs. I’m just going to call her Mrs. Frankly, I felt like Junie B. Jones around her. Always making mistakes.