2. Self-Esteem

3. Introduction
There is much talk in the world about the value of good self-esteem
We’re told not to scold or punish children because it might damage their self-esteem
Psychologists tell us that self-esteem is a ‘basic human need’ and is ‘indispensable’
These ideas were introduced by psychologist Abraham Maslow in 1943
They became popular in the 1960s and 1970s, and today are often accepted without thought
This concept was widely criticized by fellow psychologists Albert Ellis and Carl Rogers

4. Defining self-esteem
Webster’s: “A confidence and satisfaction in oneself”
American Heritage: “Pride in oneself”
Roget’s: “An excessively high opinion of oneself”
Synonyms: “conceit, bigheadedness, egotism, superiority, self-admiration, self-adulation, self-love, self-regard, self-worship, vanity, self-importance”
Antonyms: “humbleness, humility, meekness, modesty”
The definitions, and especially the synonyms and antonyms, should make us pause
Are these the characteristics we want to develop?
Let’s look at a couple real-life examples
Ask yourself if each person has a self-esteem problem that needs to be corrected

5. Example #1
He tells me that while he is not incapable, he is the most insignificant person in the group with whom he associates
Sometimes, he is ashamed to be connected with his friends because of the awful things that he did in his youth
His work is very difficult. The people are so annoying at times that he has been made to look like a fool because of them. You can tell the stress is getting to him; he has been calling himself a nobody recently.
Not too long ago, he got into an argument with one of his co-workers when his co-worker made a mistake. It was one of those “in your face” kind of disputes
Earlier he had another argument with a friend and business partner because his friend’s relative ran out on him during a critical business deal. It got so bad, they broke up and went their separate ways.
He has no confidence in himself
Overall, he doesn’t think much of himself. In fact, he is totally dependent on someone else to be effective (at least in his own mind) in his job. He defines himself by this other person

6. Example #2 This man never asserts his independence
He accepted a stressful (physically-, mentally-, and emotionally-demanding) job because he was asked to do so
He had to give up a very high-paying career to do so
He continues doing the job even when those he is helping hate him for it
The people he helps have been known to challenge his authority, insult him, and physically attack him
If asked to fill out an assault charge, he declines and says to just forget about it
He has asked to be reassigned, but without waiting for an answer, said he’d do whatever he was told to do
He knows his job will be the death of him, but doesn’t quit

7. What do you think? Would you suggest that either man . . .
Needs more self-esteem?
Needs to respect himself more?
Psychologists and self-help gurus might fill textbooks examining the “self-esteem issues” of these two men
Do you know either man or someone like either of them?
I think you do

8. Example #1: Paul
He tells me that while he is not incapable, he is the most insignificant person in the group with whom he associates. Sometimes, he is ashamed to be connected with his friends because of the awful things that he did in his youth (1Cor 15:9)
His work is very difficult. The people are so annoying at times that he has been made to look like a fool because of them. You can tell the stress is getting to him; he has been calling himself a nobody recently (2Cor 12:11)
Not too long ago, he got into an argument with one of his co-workers when his co-worker made a mistake. It was one of those “in your face” kind of disputes. (Gal 2:11)
Earlier he had another argument with a friend and business partner because his friend’s relative ran out on him during a critical business deal. It got so bad, they broke up and went their separate ways. (Acts 15:39)
He has no confidence in himself (Phil 3:3-11)
Overall, he doesn’t think much of himself. In fact, he is totally dependent on someone else to be effective (at least in his own mind) in his job. He defines himself by this other person. (Phil 4:13; 2Cor 3:5)

9. Example #2: Jesus Christ
This man never asserts his independence (Jn 10:30, 36-38)
He accepted a stressful (physically-, mentally-, and emotionally-demanding) job because he was asked to do so (Heb 10:5-7)
He had to give up a very high-paying career to do so (Phil 2:5-8)
He continues doing the job even when those he is helping hate him for it (Rom 5:6-8; Jn 3:19-20)
The people he helps have been known to challenge his authority, insult him, and physically attack him (Mk 15:16-20, and many more passages)
If asked to fill out an assault charge, he declines and says to just forget about it (Lk 23:34)
He has asked to be reassigned, but without waiting for an answer, said he’d do whatever he was told to do (Lk 22:42)
He knows his job will be the death of him, but doesn’t quit (Jn 12:27-33)

10. A Christian self-view We are weak
If we look at what God wants us to do, it is easy to see that none of us are equal to the task
2 Cor 2:15-16
Our sufficiency is from God (2Cor 3:5-6)
Our confidence is not in ourselves (Phil 3:3)
We can do nothing without Christ (Jn 15:5)
God wants those who have poor and contrite spirits (Isa 66:1-2; Ps 51:17)
Mt 5:3-8
God wants us to realize we are totally dependent on Him

11. A Christian self-view Compared to others, we are unimportant
We are to esteem others as better than ourselves (Phil 2:3-4)
There is the esteem we are to have, and it’s NOT self-esteem
Most modern translations add the word “only” in the phrase “look out not for his own interests”
Translators can’t imagine doing what Paul said, so they add a word that is not there
The word translated “also” can be translated “then, even, therefore, moreover” as well and make perfect sense of the sentence

12. A Christian self-view Compared to others, we are unimportant
We are to esteem those who labor for the Lord (Phil 2:29-30; 1Thes 5:12-13)
We are to honor masters (1Tim 6:1-2)
Eph 6:5-8
We do our work to please God, not to please others or for self-pride
We are to honor all, honor the king (1 Pet 2:17)
Praying for them (1 Tim 2:1-4)
Our focus should be on God, not ourselves
2Cor 4:7-12

13. Confidence Does lacking self-esteem mean we lack confidence?
No, but our confidence is in God (2Cor 3:4-5; Prov 3:26; Heb 13:6)
He grants us boldness, confidence and strength (Eph 3:8-21)
An example:
When the King of Assyria surrounded Jerusalem and asked why they thought they could withstand him (Isa 36:4-9, 37:10-11)
What did Hezekiah do? (Isa 37:14-20)
He trusted God

14. Conclusion What do we esteem?
Our things or ourselves? That is what the world esteems
Lk 16:15
God finds that to be an abomination
Our God and Savior?
1Jn 3:18-22