1. “He Said, She Said: Understanding Gender Differences in Communication”
Sue Gillies
BA, BAppSci, MBA
CMGMA, September 15th, 2017

2. Guidelines/Underlying Assumptions

3. Communication Impacts All Aspects of our Businesses
Efficiency
Quality
Bottom Line
Compliance/Legal
Creativity/Uniqueness
Competition
Reputation/Brand
Emotions
Stress Levels
Satisfaction

4. Many Ways to Evaluate Communication….....
Another tool in your tool kit

5. It’s Not That Black and White….
We all have masculine and feminine traits
Where do you sit on the continuum?
Masculine_____________________Feminine

6. A Story!

7. The Other Side of the Coin…

8. Equals but not the same! Speaking Listening Body Language
Conflict Resolution
Problem Solving/Decision Making

9. Why? Brains- Different Wiring Evolution- Cave Men/Women
Socialization- Gender Roles

10. Attributes Masculine Feminine In control/take charge Independent
Focused
Logical
Decisive
Disciplined
Stable
Confident
Hierarchical
Competitive
Nurturing
Interdependent
Receptive
Emotional
Empathetic
Creative
Patient
Vulnerable
Communal
Cooperative

11. Speaking Masculine Feminine Facts/report Reason for talking
Direct/demands
Say what they mean
Feelings/rapport
Process out loud
Indirect/ask questions
Imply what they mean

12. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine: Take a moment to build rapport
Explain your thinking rather than simply jumping to conclusions
Be aware that a direct communication style may be taken personally
Tentative does equal lacking confidence
Increase the feeling quotient
Feminine:
Be concise, get to the point
Use statements
A direct style does not equal arrogance or superiority
Dim the emotional intensity

13. Speaking Masculine Feminine Facts/report Reason for talking
Direct/demands
Say what they mean
Feelings/rapport
Process out loud
Indirect/ask questions
Imply what they mean

14. Listening

15. Listening Masculine Feminine Listen to fix Outcomes/content
Listen to one thing at a time
Likely to interrupt
View this as an interruption or a lack of attention
Listen to improve
People/feelings
Shift back and forth in listening
Take turns
Participatory listening (finish off other sentences)

16. Bridging the Gaps Both: Masculine: Feminine:
Clarify how you would like the other person to listen (fix, improve, understand, just listen!)
Masculine:
Avoid interruptions
Be cognizant of the feeling content
Feminine:
Understand that interruptions are not always meant to indicate disinterest
Avoid finishing sentences

17. Listening Masculine Feminine Listen to fix Outcomes/content
Listen to one thing at a time
Likely to interrupt
View this as an interruption or a lack of attention
Listen to improve
People/feelings
Shift back and forth in listening
Take turns
Participatory listening (finish off other sentences)

18. Body Language Masculine Feminine
Eye contact not important
Nod to indicate agreement
More attuned to verbal than the non verbal
Eye contact indicates interest
Nod to indicate interest
Read body language and pick up non verbal cues

19. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine:
Use eye contact to indicate that you are listening and interested in the conversation
Appreciate that the feminine is more sensitive to non verbal cues
Feminine:
Understand that eye contact is not as important to the masculine
Appreciate that the masculine is not as aware of body language

20. Body Language Masculine Feminine
Eye contact not important
Nod to indicate agreement
More attuned to verbal than the non verbal
Eye contact indicates interest
Nod to indicate interest
Read body language and pick up non verbal cues

21. Conflict Resolution Masculine Feminine Competing and achieving
Argue more and find it interesting to disagree
Just fix the problem
Harmony and relating
Seek agreement and see disagreement as more threatening to relationships
Hash out the details

22. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine:
Recognize that confrontation may cause the feminine retreat
Try to reframe the conflict as more ritual than real
Feminine:
Be aware that the masculine likes to argue. Try not to personalize it
Recognize the value of conflict and allow yourself and others to take a strong position

23. Conflict Resolution Masculine Feminine Competing and achieving
Argue more and find it interesting to disagree
Just fix the problem
Harmony and relating
Seek agreement and see disagreement as more threatening to relationships
Hash out the details

24. Problem Solving/Decision Making

25. Problem Solving/Decision Making
Masculine
Feminine
Goal oriented/linear
Analytical
One solution at a time
At ease with order, rules
Decisive/results oriented
More comfortable giving and taking orders
Assertive
Want to get to work immediately
Process oriented/holistic
Intuitive
As many options as possible
At ease with fluidity
Consultative/ collaborative
More comfortable with giving and taking suggestions
Cooperative
Tend to ask a lot of questions before beginning

26. Bridging the Gaps Masculine: Feminine: Both
Be open to hearing several ways to solve the same problem
Asking questions doesn’t translate to a lack of confidence
Feminine:
Limit solutions, prioritize
Be sure the masculine has adequate information
Both
Clarify if you are gathering information to seek consensus or to be the ultimate decision maker
Optimize your outcome by incorporating both styles; appreciate the benefits of collaborative and singular approaches to problem solving and decision making

27. Problem Solving/Decision Making
Masculine
Feminine
Goal oriented/linear
Analytical
One solution at a time
At ease with order, rules
Decisive/results oriented
More comfortable giving and taking orders
Assertive
Want to get to work immediately
Process oriented/holistic
Intuitive
As many options as possible
At ease with fluidity
Consultative/ collaborative
More comfortable with giving and taking suggestions
Cooperative
Tend to ask a lot of questions before beginning

28. Workplace Needs Masculine Respected Admired
Sense of control over their environment
Feminine
Appreciated
Valued for what they bring to the workplace
Safe

29. Putting it into Practice
Understand the Differences
Practice
Know Yourself

30. What Went Wrong?

31. A Critical Business Decision!
Appreciate and Understand Gender Communication Differences To:
Remove the Distractions
Listen with Clarity
Optimize the Results

32. Questions

33. Fun Gender Communication Quiz

34. Sue Gillies Change, Strategy, Improvement, Coaching, Consulting
Please feel free to contact me with additional questions and if you would like a copy of the reference list.
Presentation Reference List Available Upon Request