1. Discuss the role of communication in maintaining relationships.

2. Vocabulary Verbal communication What you say What you don’t say
Non-verbal communication
Body Language
The WAY you say things

3. Gender Differences in Communication – It is HIGHLY important to understand the other’s communication style and needs
Deborah Tannen – Remember her???

4. See Crane pg 281 for quotes and details
Men tend to…
Interrupt more
Change topic more
Be defensive about a disclosure
Offer specific advice
Women tend to…
Disclose more and to women more than men
Use more language tags
Be more inclusive
Respond to negativity with understanding
Remain on an emotional level
Desire a sounding board for their own experiences

5. Two Theories of Communication
…and also why relationships change or end

6. 2 theories of communication
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Social Penetration Theory
Communication styles:
Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling
Levels of disclosure:
Orientation Stage
Exploratory Stage
Affective Stage
Stable Stage
Depenetration
John Gottman

7. John Gottman
Conducted multiple interviews with couples that had relationship trouble (often as ‘last resort’)
Also conducted longitudinal research with ‘successful’ couples.
Conducted research with heterosexual and same-sex couples.
Came up with ‘4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse’ theory through observation of his research

8. Use of micro-expressions
4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse
4 communication styles
Criticism:
Complaint that are blaming , attacking the character or insulting.
Defensiveness:
Making excuses, deflecting blame or avoiding responsibility
Contempt:
Using mockery, sarcasm or hostile humor to make the other appear foolish or feel stupid.
Stonewalling:
Actively disengaging from conversation (looking away, not responding…) – often happens when overwhelmed
Use of micro-expressions

9. Theory of communication
Frequency of statements is important – not the statements themselves
Gottsman et al 2003 came up with the magic number
Ratio of 5:1
For every negative statement, need 5 or more positive statements are needed to make up for it

10. Criticisism - Gottman
Gottman claims to be able to predict divorce – those couples come to him being already in trouble… (retrospective in nature)
Can’t verify if the communication style was the cause or the effect of the troubled relationship
Ratio is only correlational – doesn’t answer the why?

11. Social Penetration Theory
Altman and Taylor

12. Criticized or disinterested
Self disclosure
Found that relationships are formed through self- disclosure (revealing personal things to someone else)
Self-disclosure needs to lead to self-validation.
Relationship is weighed through cost-benefit
Cost
Benefit
Self disclosure
Validated by partner
Valued
Self disclosure
Criticized or disinterested
Back Away

13. Levels of disclosure The Orientation Stage
Often referred to as small talk.
Simple information about oneself without revealing anything that would reveal vulnerability.
For example, I am Canadian. I live in Guangzhou. I am a teacher.
There is low risk in this level of communication.
The Orientation Stage

14. Levels of disclosure The Exploratory Stage
One starts to reveal more about one's personal feelings and opinions - but still on rather "safe" topics.
This may be one's thoughts on the current government, what we like and don't like about our jobs, thoughts on the future.
This is the stage at which many friendships stay.
The Exploratory Stage

15. Levels of disclosure The Affective Stage
Beginning to share information of a private/personal nature.
Often this stage also involves intimate physical relations
The Affective Stage

16. Levels of disclosure The Stable Stage
One feels that they can be honest and open with a partner.
Trust is strongly developed.
One can predict the emotional reactions of the other person.
The Stable Stage

17. Levels of disclosure Depenetration
When a relationship starts to break down
There is a withdrawal of disclosure.
Depenetration

18. About that Music Project…
- Collin & Miller (1994)

19. Collin & Miller (1994)
A meta-analysis of self-disclosure studies found:
that people who disclose intimate information about themselves are more liked than people who don’t.
People tend to disclose more personal information to those that they like
If people disclose information to someone, they tend to like the person more
Evaluate a Meta-analysis: See Moodle…Socio-cultural unit (4.9 – Social Learning Theory)

20. Overall Criticisms Of Theories into Communication
Difficult to determine a cause and effect relationship between disclosure and the health of a relationship.
disclosure is a result of a healthy relationship, rather than a cause of one.
Large amount of the research on this topic has been conducted on Western women. This means that there is s significant sampling bias.
Men and women appear to have different patterns of disclose, so the theory may be overly simplistic (back to Tannen).
Using only this one argument to explain the health of a relationship is reductionist.

21. Review and Apply to LAQ…

22. 2 theories of communication
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Social Penetration Theory
Communication styles:
Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling
Levels of disclosure:
Orientation Stage
Exploratory Stage
Affective Stage
Stable Stage
Depenetration
John Gottman

23. Discuss the role of communication in maintaining relationships.
Link to the question

24. Role of communication 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Social Penetration Theory
Positive communication is a necessity in maintaining a relationship
Negative communication could end a relationship
Disclosing personal information is important in communication to maintain the relationship