1. Nurturing Parenting Program
Session 7&8
Improving Children’s Self-Worth;
Developing Personal Power & UNDERSTANDING DISCIPLINE
Facilitator: Alicia
Phone: (916)
Date/time: Monday and Wednesdays 1:00 pm – 3:00 pm

2. WEEK 7 - AGENDA Welcome & Check In Last Week Review
Home Assignment Review
Week 7 Competencies
Self Esteem, Self-Concept, Self-Worth
10 ways to Improve Your Child’s Self Worth
Break
Developing Personal Power – Empowerment
Power Struggle
Closing Activities – Home Practice, Session Evaluation and Praise Circle
Borrow from HV

3. CHECK IN & REVIEW
Right now I’m feeling ____. Something new that happened to me since our last class was _____.
Give an example of how you were able to apply empathy when parenting this past week?
Attunement
Table of Contents

4. REVIEW: DEVELOPING EMPATHY IN CHILDREN
It is the ability of one person to walk in the shoes of another person and feel what it is like.
Empathy is the ability to perceive the emotions, needs and desires of a child: and to be able to respond in a nurturing way, keeping the positive welfare of the child the focus.
Empathy, simply is the ability to care

5. REVIEW: EMPATHY IN NURTURING PARENTING
Let’s Practice identifying and honoring your child’s feelings
First, try to identify or label what someone is feeling.
“Hanna, you are really afraid right now, aren’t you?
Second, identify why your child feels the way they do.
“Why are you so scared?”
Third, brainstorm with the child to see if anything needs to be done.
“Being afraid that there are monsters in the closet is very scary.
What should we do to help you feel safer?”
What are not acts of empathy? Spanking, hitting, yelling

6. Session 7 - COMPETENCIES
Parents can describe the terms self-worth and personal power
Parents can describe the importance of having positive self-worth as a parent
Parents can use at least three strategies to improve children’s self-worth
Parents can identify ways to build their own sense of personal power
Parents can describe strategies to build personal power in children
Table of Contents

7. WHAT’S THE MEANING? SELF-CONCEPT SELF-esteem SELF-WORTH
The way people feel about themselves.
What people think about themselves.
The overall way people think and feel about themselves. Self-worth is the combination of self-esteem and self-concept.
Self-concept: things like gender, name, personality, physical appearance, race, likes and dislikes, beliefs, values, social history, nationality, schooling, family, career, accomplishments, failures, skills and talents. Answers the questions who am i?
Self esteem: whether you think all of these things add up to something good, bad, worthy, or unworthy, Its how you rate what you know about yourself. Am I good enough? +
Self-Concept -
Behavior
Self-Esteem
Experiences
Child

8. WHAT DETERMINES SELF-WORTH?
Is developed by the way we are treated by others during the process of growing up.
The way children think and feel about themselves is reflected in their behavior
When children view themselves as positive people, they behave that way toward themselves and to others. The same holds true with a negative view of themselves
Children learn to be nurturing and caring by being treated as such
Children learn to be mean and uncaring by being treated in that manner.
BEHAVIOR
NEEDS

9. SELF-REFLECTION: LABELS, *Exercise
Write down a negative label you have for yourself that was given to you by a parent, guardian or someone else
Write it down…
If only I had been more like my …
I can’t do anything right
I was a mistake
I’m just like my father
One way that we influence children is by giving them a label. Labels can be positive such as you are caring, understanding, loveable; labels can be negative such as bully, lazy, and underachiever
I am worthless
I’m a liar

10. SELF-REFLECTION: LABELS
Now, identify a positive behavior or label you would like to see or have seen instead. . .
Write it down…
I can do anything I set my mind to
I am unique
I’m actively working to fix my mistakes to be a good role model for my kids
My life has meaning & purpose
I am priceless
I tell the truth

11. SELF REFLECTION: LABELS FOR YOUR CHILDREN
What labels do you or your partner have for your child/children?
Write the negative/inappropriate behavior your child performs when they’re acting that label.
What positive label would you like your child to have instead?
List the behaviors that would help him/her become that positive label

12. 10 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR CHILD’S SELF WORTH
Give children small opportunities to succeed!
Expect children to succeed in small specific situations.
If a child does not succeed, problem solve!
Keep track of all the times your child behaves appropriately!
Praise your child in front of others, where your child can hear you.
Model good behavior.
Visualize your child with the new positive label.
Respect and honor your child’s feelings and opinions.
In love, comment on your child’s strengths and weaknesses.
Be Patient! *Think of three specific ways you can change your child’s self-esteem and self-concept. Write them down.

13. DEVELOPING PERSONAL POWER
Personal power is not how physically strong we are, but how capable we are in getting our needs met in desirable, healthy ways.
Personal power is the capability we have to influence conditions in our lives.
Positive personal power means we do things to meet our needs and the needs of others in ways that build self-concept and self-esteem.
Negative personal power means we do things to meet our needs and the needs of others in ways that are destructive.
Positive control means we control the lives of others who are unable to get their own needs met.
Negative control means we control the lives of others who are capable to get many of their own needs met, but we control them anyways.

14. EMPOWERMENT: BUILDING PERSONAL POWER
Building personal power is called Empowerment
Why is it important for children?
PERSONAL POWER…
Helps children to withstand peer pressure
Helps children say no to decisions that they know are going to get them into trouble or danger
Speak up for themselves in situations where they may feel unsafe
Be responsive to their own needs and the needs of others

15. WEEK 7 - COMPETENCIES & SESSION EVALUATION
Parents can describe the terms Self Worth and Personal Power
Parents can describe the importance of having positive self-worth as a parent
Parents can use at least three strategies to improve children’s self-worth
Parents can identify ways to build their own sense of personal power
Parents can describe strategies to build personal power in children
Table of Contents

16. Be mindful of the noise level
BREAK TIME
Be mindful of the noise level
No smoking within 100 feet of the front door
Please return from breaks on time
Table of Contents

17. WEEK 8, Understanding Discipline - COMPETENCIES
Parents can describe the meaning of discipline
Parents can identify the type of discipline being used on their children
Parents can describe their childhood experience with discipline
Parents can identify reasons why parents use spanking as a technique
Parents can describe why hitting children is not a good parenting practice
Table of Contents

18. UNDERSTANDING DISCIPLINE
Discipline: comes from the Latin word, discipulus, which means to teach and to guide
4 Major Concepts of Discipline
The time spent together between parent and child has to be quality “time-in” for “time-out” to work.
Parents must have expectations of their children that are developmentally appropriate.
For discipline to work, parents must be consistent, yet flexible.
Parents must take time to nurture themselves.

19. UNDERSTANDING DISCIPLINE
BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT: describes techniques parents use to manage the behavior of children.
Examples: Nurturing Parenting Routines, Redirection, Child proofing your house, establishing family rules, morals and values
BEHAVIOR ENCOURAGEMENT: helps parents put the focus on encouraging children to try their best, to cooperate, and to show respect and caring.
Examples: Praising children, gentle touch, helping children communicate their needs, wants feelings, establishing family rules, morals and values
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: describes techniques designed to correct undesirable behaviors in toddlers and preschoolers (2 years and older).
Examples: Time out, grounding, loss of privileges and restitution
**BABIES ARE NEVER PUNISHED FOR THEIR ACTIONS! THEY ARE TOO YOUNG TO PURPOSEFULLY MISBEHAVE**

20. Introduction Question: What Are Other Words Used to Describe Spanking?
WHY DO PARENTS SPANK?
Introduction Question:
What memories do you have of being spanked?
What Are Other Words Used to Describe Spanking?
Write the word SPANKING on the flipchart. Ask parents to brainstorm other words used to describe spanking. Jot them down.
Focus on three words. Spanking, hitting, and beating. What are the differences between these terms? Mention that spanking is a process, it is something that parents do and exists on a contuum of severity.
Draw a horizontal line. Write numbers 0 through 10 under the line.
Ask parents to determine what degree of hitting is acceptable.
Mention that people are constantly arguing about when spanking becomes abuse. Many professionals state that spanking becomes abusive only when it leaves marks on childs body.
The approach of nurturing parenting is that spanking is always an a busive process regardless of marks or not. For physical abuse of children to be totally prevented, spanking needs to stop.
Spanking is a process – it’s something parents DO and exists on a scale of severity
NO Spanking Less Severe (swats) More severe (spankings) Most severe (beatings) Death of a child

21. Try This… WHY DO PARENTS SPANK?
Take time to understand why you use spanking as a way of punishing children. Reflect back on the times that you were spanked as a child. Did your parents use the same reason for spanking you as you are using for spanking your children?

22. Parents Hit Their Children…
WHY DO PARENTS SPANK?
Parents Hit Their Children…
Because of personal history
To teach them right from wrong
As a form of punishment
As an “act of love”
To teach them respect
When they’re angry
Based on religious writings
Because it’s a cultural practice
To prepare them for the real world

23. WHY IS SPANKING DETRIMENTAL TO CHILDREN?
The approach to Nurturing Parenting is that spanking is always an abusive process regardless of marks or not.
Hitting out of love teaches children that people who love them, hurt them: children may end up with someone who hurts them.
Hitting a child, whatever word is used (swat, spank, etc.) is still violence: children will learn to hit others and rationalize it’s not really hurting.
Corporal Punishment means the child is unacceptable: Children learn that being victimized is something they deserve in life.

24. WHY IS SPANKING DETEMINTAL TO CHILDREN?
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT = BODY PENALTY
When someone hits the body what non-verbal message does that send?
THEY ARE …..
When you punish by other means than hitting, you’re telling the child that
WHAT THEY DID was not acceptable vs. WHO THEY ARE

25. ALTERNATIVES TO SPANKING

26. HOME PRACTICE ASSIGNMENT
Read Chapter 19 and Chapter 20 in Parent Handbook and complete written exercises.
Identify two things you like about the way you discipline your children
Identify two things you dislike about the way you discipline your children.
What can you do to improve?
Do something to nurture yourself
Read “100 Ways to Nurture Yourself”

27. PRAISE CIRCLE Praise Circle Compliment yourself
Compliment someone else
Share something new